Nothing Like A Nightmare [Bhu]

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

Abeni

Wha--?

I froze midstep at the tone that was thrust towards me, the fur along my spine rising in uneasy agitation. And then he was in front of me, spitting foul remarks and demanding I tell him what is right. Hell if I knew, but this wasn't it. And he was cursing at me. I could stand the canines use their vulgarity around me, but no one had the audacity to actually direct it towards me all too often. Something deep in me snapped, and a well of emotions rushed forward. My brain tried to decipher them into organized catorgories, but seemed to fail.

I heard Ayita growl a disapproving remark when Paradox used such foul language in reference to me, but it was quiet and I could read her hesitation. I turned to follow Paradox with my eyes, ignoring his promises that they'd never hurt me. Wouldn't hurt me? You don't need to stick a tooth into my flesh to hurt me.

"There goes another promise, broken. You Folami don't know how to keep your word, do you?" It was a purely feline hiss that ran passed my pain stricken face. "You said you'd never hurt me, Rouge, but how do you think I feel being cursed at? It stings much worse than any blow Alaois can throw at me." I purposefully used the demon boy's name, knowing the deep distaste this male had for my former playmate. I wanted to shred this dog apart with both words and claws, even as he lay curled pathetically beneath the gentle souled Ayita.

It was then I noted the yellow glare the girl was sending me.

"Back off, Abeni. Paradox is punishing himself enough. He knows he should not have spoken to you like that."

I cracked.

"Back off? BACK OFF? I don't think so, dog! When is it my turn to fight? I take beatings all day long and never utter a word or hold a grudge. I think I deserve some mad time." I watched the girl harden her eyes and stand up, pulling away from Paradox harshly to approach me briskly. The mutt lowered her skull to stand eye to eye with me.

"As much as I care about you, Abeni, my loyalties do not lie with you. If you want to lie down and take beatings, don't expect someone to let you do the same to them. We stood up and defended ourselves and paid the consequence. If you hate it all so much, you can too. Stay here with us." Here eyes gentled with those final words, but I found no kindness to answer with.

"If you can kill a dog, you can easily kill a cat." I turned away from them and started off, but sent a final glance over my shoulder to Paradox. "And for your information, killing cats is not wrong. It is what you're supposed to do. That is what is right." I turned away again, knowing I had to get back to Daiade.

I was a good little brainwashed child.

[I L Y I C H]

I didn't move. Couldn't move. "Right. Liar. Breaker of oaths. Promises" I lifted my head to stare blearily off into nothing. My muscle were still trembling. "Name's Paradox for a reason...Liar..." I hid back away in my cave of fur. "Snapped. Cracked. Broke. Sorry" My tongue pressed against Ayita's stomach in a childish attempt to console myself with her warmth. It didn't work as well as it might have a few moments ago.

Sighing heavily I pulled back just in time to catch the explosion. Not that I had any right to talk. Or say a word. My body sunk to the ground now that it had been removed from it's rock. Pain crept around in my deeply hurt heart, but I stood and weakly moved up to stand beside my mate. "Have you ever thought about what we had to lie down through?" It was an earnest thought, though I spoke it weakly.

But Abeni was so child like, and children hate to be forced to see anothers reasons. Besides... murder was still murder. Standing there beside Ayita, I couldn't help but perk up at those last words. Yes, we could take Abeni and Daiade and Carska and all the other loyals and just leave. Why couldn't we just make a new pack? Why couldn't we just be happy? Because happiness doesn't exist in a place where children are corrupted for their elder's own good.

Staring after my retreating friend... hater I couldn't help but open my mouth and give one last grating sentence. "Daiade doesn't believe that." Maybe it was cruel of me, but it was true. That blind man would never think that way. To him murder was murder, and this girls words were the ultimate denial of all of her father's teachings.


ooc:// ew...

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

Abeni

I was walking quietly away, fuming in my own self loathing piled with the hate I felt for the two Rouges. His words were, again, falling on deaf ears. I didn't care for him or his little break down. I could leave Ayita to pick up the pieces. The woman who had been the mother to everyone in the pack was now focused in on a single soul; and she had changed so much. Damn her and her Master. Paradox ruled her now and I didn't care for what she had become. When I was a cub, she would have blew up on anyone who cursed at me; not because she had liked me or she was a kittenhugger, but simply because I was a child. Children should not hear curses. But now that I was an adult, I suppose she felt no need to guard me against the words. I hated her for letting Paradox change her.

"Daiade doesn't believe that."

I froze midstep, heart beating rigidly for that foul statement. Slowly I turned, eyes focused on the two who lay together a few paces behind. My eyes held hate, my lips pulled, once more, into a snarl. If one were to shave the fur from my face, they would be thrown back by the heat of anger that pulsed off my redening skin. "Father doesn't know what is right, then." Why was I so angry? These dogs were defending my breed. And why did I want to think Daiade saw me as a lower form?

Because if he rose me up, he would be killed.

"I won't have father murdered simply because he cares for me! You shut your mouth, Paradox. Just shut up! Father knows my place is a prisoner. The pack is merciful and lets me live. Father is a loyal Folami to the pack! He isn't like you stupid kittenhuggers!" The anger was pure, but I was directing it at the wrong people. What have I become? My mother had been killed by the Folami, probably my father, too. And Akila. These dogs are destroyed all I had known. But they had also enlightened me to the truth; I had no blood relations to Adaeze or Baako. Nor to Akila. I had been living a lie all along and these dogs pushed that fact forward. Now I didn't live how I was supposed to live; heck, I ate lion meat for crying out loud!; but at least I was not believing lies. I knew I was a worm in a bird world. I knew it was their mercy keeping me alive.

But why me?

Turning away, a sent a final snarl of uncertainty to the two before breaking into a run. But it wasn't towards camp. I needed to find a pride. I needed to not be some stupid burden on the pack. But most of all, I needed to take away the temptation from father Daiade. I couldn't let his love for me cause him to get hurt. I just couldn't do it.

I hear Akando will take any lioness.




Ayita

The girl was broken and I could see she was so unsure of herself. A small twitch ran through my body, aching to help her. But she was not my problem. She was an adult and it was about time she learned how to act like one. It was cruel but one can't forget one little thing; I'm a bloodthirsty monster.

I watched her run off in a different direction than she had come. At first I was concerned, but I shoved it away and shifted to lick my dear Paradox between the ears. "We should let her go. She needs to get out of the Folami pack." I didn't dare say how likely it was she would die in her wanderings. Death would be the ultimate gift Paradox and I could give the beaten girl. Besides, Abeni was not my concern anymore. I wasn't part of her family. She could chose her own fate, and I could chose mine.

And mine was Paradox.

I layed my head upon the shivering brute, a canine purr passing my lips to comfort. "Relax, my dear, and breath. You are a good man, despite what our friend has said. It isn't your fault that the world is too blind to see that."

OOC//: Remember I said that I wanted Abeni to have cubbies at some point? I think her running off and joining Akando for some time will be a fine opportunity for that. She will come back a bit after Bidziil returns...probably after the pack already splits and after Daiade is already hurt

[I L Y I C H]

ooc:// sounds good... but she could do better xD Daiade will be a mess when Bidziil comes back, all the more reason to go growl at Babylon.

Paradox--

So there it was. The girl had been utterly brain washed by the same creatures that wanted to kill her so badly. That was some Stockholm Syndrome that poor lioness had going on there. Her papa loved her, and the fact that she denied it so openly blackened my soul. Did Abeni need to be used so badly? Did she need to be the lesser to feel equal? It made no sense to me, but then I had always had dominance issues.

Head tilting downward I stared after her retreating form, unable to respond to her fury. That was the reason. She wanted to protect her father, and this mask over her eyes. It was depressing, but shockingly similar. It was a connection, and I stared after her silently. Sadly. Ear twitching towards Ayita's words I turned to face her. "Yes, your right" Of course she was.

Shifting to lean forward and brush a black cheek against Ayita's own white fur. "I'm okay, baby. I'm sorry to have snapped like that... once again" I smiled sheepishly, ashamed of myself. Closing my eyes, I leaned into her touch letting out my own soft whisper of happiness. "Would you come with me on a run, little bird? I... I really need to walk this off" I offered, slitting open one eye and staring forlornly after Abeni's vanishing trail.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

"Always and forever." I stood gently with my words, moving away from Abeni's exiting direction. I would run to the ends of the earth and back for my Paradox. Not because I had nothing better to do, but simply because I wanted to.