Kicked Form the Pan}{Striaght to the Fire(Bhu)

[nEwOL握敵]

The sun was low, but not yet fading. I had plenty of light left in the day, but still most of it was spent. The rain was only falling lightly now as my fur stuck in rows of needles along my flanks, but yet I was not enough wet to be cold, I wasn't soaked down to my flesh. The lightening of the ran, plus the branches of the trees above me now, meant that here on the floor it was actually fairly dry in the rich orange and pink light.

I was tired. Fairly bone tired and somewhat sore from the course of today's events. Today's events being the young lioness who's life I had claimed in the name of my... my humans? No, it was my cause... Wrong, it was for Nym... or was it- I shut myself up be telling myself that it had been for my cause and I was being stupid to let my exhaustion play with my train of thought. I had my proof. I finally had my proof. I had something solid to give him now as I dragged the lioness's body behind me. Her death wasn't a wasted one. I'd proved that a Folami who cared for her kind could still kill the creatures that didn't belong to this land. Could still be a Folami. Even if it was clear that I placed my family first. I'd kill when chance allowed, without remorse. But my family came first.

Finally I just forced the thought process from my mind. There was no room for it in my haze. The memory of this creature's warm blood feeling my mouth and running down my throat, the tingling sensation that had strongly pulsed through my whole body, was still flashing through my mind. It had felt so good. It was like an old primal instinct being rekindled inside of me. All I knew right now was that I was contently sore and tired, feeling aggressive, and for some reason my paws where dragging me toward Nym.

To whom I would imagine I must be one hell of a site to see right now. My white fur bore the proof of my kill. My face was coated red with blood all the way up my muzzle, as where both my front paws all the way to half way up my forelegs. In my mouth I dragged the ruined body of a young lioness, the right side of her face slashed open in multiple places and her right eye rented out. Her throat was destroyed and her stomach was ripped open where I had reached inside of her to tear her heart out, which I then consumed. My stomach was content with feline meat for the first time in oh what must have been centuries, no, a millennium. It radiated warmth that ran through my limbs making me happy. The pathetic remains of the creature was splattered with blood all over. And my scent alone would be enough to confuse and intrigue his mind. I was a mix of scents, the scent of blood, a kill. Also clinging to me was Vea Apxn pack scent, and traces of Carska's own scent, as we currently shared a nest. And finally my own heat scent. This was a version of me that Nym had never seen before, and would likely never forget.

I might have walked all the way to him had it not been for muscle memory. Once my paws reached the spot where we had met the first time I'd ventured here, I dropped the lifeless body on the ground and lowered myself sorely to my rump in a sitting position. In my state all the formal appearance Nym had come to know would be gone. My ears sagged to the side and rather the curl it over my paws, my tail just limply sat on the ground behind me. Normally I would not have been tired by what had happened today, but all the sensation and feelings and emotions that this kill had triggered sense it had been oh so long had sapped my energy.

Here I waited. Calling out to him would have been dumb and dangerous as others of his pack might hear, but fortunately I'd never called out to him before and so my muscle memory didn't compel me to do so. My gaze finally settled off into the distance tiredly as waited to be found by the Folami who my heart was so secretly pursuing.


Word Count: 755

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

He watched me from a distance now, a few bounds, his dark fur hidden in the shadows of the small bunch of pine tree saplings that had yet to brawl over who would get to reach maturity in that spot. It was odd being assessed, especially by one so much younger than I. Ah, but everyone was younger. And this was my Alpha--I would not question him. He had come back a short time ago, and had been a new man. It was clear his thoughts were aligned with Rickalaru’s to some degree. However, she had equal love for all her kind, while Alpha had his family up on a pedistool. It was clear to me he was finally the strong Alpha again, but I did not like his values. Perhaps I should have, because they were like Rickalaru’s, but Alpha having that mindset unsettled me. It went against two bouts of programming now. He was defying his humans by denying them twice. At least he had one paw in this world, though. We were hunting a feline right now.

Since his return he had been speaking of assessing everyone to see where improvement was needed. This was a change that at one point would have sent my sirens off in alarm. He would not kill the weak, he would offer them lessons. Ah, but that was exactly what Rickalaru had wanted. Alpha would set down the infrastructure, and perhaps when Rickalaru came, we could focus on us. I blinked once, frozen in my hunting crouch, knowing the yearling tiger was there, but not really seeing him. What had I meant by that thought? Us? That was wrong, wasn’t it? Though, by now I had lost myself enough to know wrong wasn’t good enough a reason not to do it. Rickalaru had shown me my heart. But I couldn’t love her. She was a kittenhugger. That was even too far for me.

Channeling my frustrations outward, I made a swift leap onto the tiger’s shoulders. My greater weight brought the man to his knees. I did not let him shout, putting one paw on his skull and shoving his maw into the mud. I bent my head around to meet his golden eyes, wide in rage and fear. My lip pulled back into a ruthless smirk. Alpha approached, his smirk mirroring my own. This was his element--why couldn’t this be who he was? Why did he had to be the brutish Alpha and the loving family man?

Ah, but that wasn’t enough for me anymore, either, was it? We had evolved. At least the one my heart wanted had her one big flaw that would save me from showing the sin.

The man bent down and whisper his maw past the tiger’s ear. “Give me honor.” It was quiet, and I moved off the tiger as Alpha said the words, as he had instructed I do with his tail just then. The tiger jolted upright, hoping to leap over us in a futile attempt to flee. I stood aside and Alpha lunged upwards, managing to get the tiger down again and on his stomach. “Give me respect.”

[/b][/i] He used his hind talons to open up the man’s stomach. He stepped aside and let the brute climb back to his paws. Innards fell to the ground. The tiger roared in agony, collapsing in his own blood and intestines. As the light faded from his eyes, Alpha slithered forward and placed his maw to the tigers ear for a final statement. “Your children are next.” We had seen this man on our land before, with cubs. They had no mother. Two of them.

He was dead, his last expression being one of horror. We would bring this carcass to camp and then track down the two young females. They weren’t really his, he had adopted them, but he loved them. I knew Alpha and I may have different motivations for using our energies to track down cubs that would starve to death anymore. I wanted to feed the pack. I felt that Alpha, however, was taking mercy on them. I would not ask--I did not want to know.

I went forward to grab the tiger’s rump, as Alpha grabbed his scruff, but I paused. The faintest scent of Rickalaru came flowing forward through the rain from the area we typically met. Keeping calm, I turned to Alpha. “Alpha, permission to begin tracking now.” I knew he could not deny me that. He could easily carry our kill back alone and, if my assumption was correct about his motivation to hunt down and kill the cubs, he would want it done as soon as possible.

“Permission granted.” He grunted through fur and flesh, using his strong neck to twist the tiger’s weight onto his back. I helped him position it, and then turned around and stalked off with my nose to the ground. When the sound of his paws hitting the ground faded, I lifted my snout and broke into a run. The scent of blood and feline flesh was carried with me, it seemed. It kept reminding me how wrong I was to even come here now. She was a kitten--

Eyes wide, I approached the mess that lay by my blood drenched woman. An Akando lioness--or at least it used to be. It was hard to distinguish through the blood and torn flesh. I eyed it with an agape mouth for a moment, then flicked brown eyes up to the scarlet drenched wolf. “You did this?” I couldn’t help. A little bit of euphoria leaked into my otherwise carefully guarded tone. If she had done this without being provoked, that meant she was still a hunter. Oh, but I needed a reason. For the humans? Please assure me you did this for the humans! I moved forward and pressed my nose carefully into her cheek, a sign of affection I had denied us both because I thought she was too soft to be okay. “A gift for our lords?” Oh please say yes. It was whispered closed to her ear before stepping back and simply watching carefully. I needed to watch her every move. She wouldn’t lie to me, would she?

Ohhell, I didn’t care if she did. I would play an ignorant bastard for her. I could live with that. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[nEwOL握敵]

Ah, he found me. For some reason he always found me, even if so far all we'd seemed to do was drive each other slowly insane. Something about his appearance, the excitement of his appearance, scent a thrill down my spin. Energy returned to my body in somewhat of a second wind. A faint smile crept to my face at his bewilderment and the question that hung lose in the air. "Yes, Nym. I did."

Look at him. Look at how Nym pranced about in amazement at my deed. I hadn't seen him react so willingly acceptant of my presence. Then he reached out and touched me. Something inside of me melted. That was a gratifying feeling, finally having contact with him. Closing me eyes for a moment to savor that touch. Then he whispered into my ear and pulled away. He was incorrect in his assumption, but I was still confident he would like my answer so I fixed him with a solid gaze, a serious look suddenly setting on my face. My ears stood up commandingly and I bore into him with firey eyes. "Я командую уважение." I Command Respect. Once again I spoke the words that where the meaning of my species' name, as I had moments before I'd killed the creature beside me. Unknown to me was it that he would be familiar with hearing the language i had just spoken, regardless of if he understood or not, do to my fellow experiment Inarakk's mumblings. I was still wholly unaware of his finally coming to this world.

Finally my expression softened back to a semblance of the calm Rickalaru he knew. My voice was calm, but confident in its words. "No. I did this as a token to my creators. To show then that I never forgot the task my litter was born to do." Then my expression shifted to something of affection for the Folami before me. "And as a message to you. To show you that just because I care for my unstable kind," My voice suddenly became strong and stern. "I still know how to use my claws."

It was strange. Something inside me welled up, was it excitement? I don't know if it was the haze of my current state of mind or my tired state, or some mixture of the both, but I couldn't stop thinking about the creature in front of me.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

My contact was well accepted, and my skin pulsed as blood raged for more. I wanted to curl around this woman as I had so often see Alpha do to his wife. I had been naive and judgmental then, I had thought it was wrong and I had thought he could control it and was choosing not to. I understood now, that need to push my snout into her neck and just stay there forever. I could feel the heat of need to curl up to her and stay with her against my stomach for eternity. It was a need that hurt to control--Alpha had simply wanted that pain to end, and so he had given in. I understood now. It was not weakness, it was a must.

The tongue she used was not foreign to me, but I could not translate. I failed to let a question spread across my face, for I was not curious enough. If it was something I had to hear, she would tell me in the words I knew. This was the sister to Inarak, and that tongue was something I had heard fall from his lips once or twice, in a subconscious state he seemed unaware of. I stood rigid, though my jaw was curved slight into a small smile, as I waited for an answer I could understand.

A token. I could accept that. And a message to me--my heart jumped. I had been worth the sick looks that some of Vea Apxn would have shown had they seen her kill this cat. She had risked friendships to drag this carcass to me and let me know that what she said could be done. I moved forward again and this time I pressed my forehead to her’s,brown eyes meaning to lock on her gaze. “I hear you now.” This sounded harsh to some degree, as if I had ignored her in the past. But I had needed proof that what she said could be done, for it went against all the lessons I had been taught. “And I see you.” Spoken softly, I let myself drink in the sight of this warrior princess. I could see the true being that she was now, not just the Vea Apxn version. She was a goddess that had simply denied herself for her friends. A perfect example of two worlds colliding and being able to coexist.

“I can feel it, my heart. You made it beat.” I paused, pulling away, severing the physical contact but keep her eyes. “You made it beat for you.”

[nEwOL握敵]

Ooc:// How I've waited for this... How I've hoped for this moment. I have denied myself to listen to this song for ages cause I didn't want it to grace my ears until THIS MOMENT! I know your not one for music Bhu, but

Everylong - Foo Fighters


Emotion began to run through me. There it was. There was the creature I'd been craving. He wasn't fighting himself now that he'd seen who I was. He wasn't struggling to shut his heart up. He'd had proof laid at his feet that it was truly possible for us to feel without failing. But most importantly was that I'd finally succeeded at one of the challenges I'd had laid before me. Oh Skoll... I hope you know what your doing. All I can do is keep fighting for my kind. All I can do is keep trying to leave my species better then I left it.

When he moved forward and pressed his forehead against mine, I looked back into his gaze, my grey eyes shining brightly. A smile spread to my lips. And finally a single tear feel from my eye. A joyful tear. I stayed silent as I let him speak. Taking in every word that feel from his maw. Such words that I'd never heard from him before. It was something totally different. Something totally new. These where the first words of a new living Folami, one that I'd had a first paw in creating. One that represented long hard work and effort. One that I could attach myself to. When he backed away I nearly followed him. I almost wanted to jump forward and wrap my paws around him and say Not Yet, your finally warm inside but I contained myself.

But it was the finally wards that claimed me. My ears folded back and my tail came forward to settle around my blood coated paws. I shut my eyes and tilted my head down in the same pose of submission that I'd presented to him in our last meeting. Another tear fell from my eyes. "I finally set you free." Rising to my paws, I walked up close to him and whispered into his ear in a passionate tone. "I'll teach you everything about living in this world with me." and then a soft laugh escaped my maw I had an image of the two of us flash across my mind, but I didn't care for that here with the dead. "Follow me."

I jumped past him and bounded off into the woods, covering a few pawfuls of meters with a gleeful smile on my face. Finally I found a patch of tall bushes that had overlapped one another, with a small gap in the center of them. It was a small space out of the rain, which was only falling lightly now. Quickly I ducked into the space and rolled onto my back making my intentions rather plane. My mind was telling me all of this was right and my heart was simply racing with excitement. I'd dreamed of this moment once, and now it was finally happening. I only hoped he would be as willing as I. My reserve had been lost somewhere in the way my mind had shifted through the course of the day.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

OOC//: I searched the lyrics to that song. Perfect.

And I so wanted to learn. I had resisted this woman for what seemed to be a lifetime now. And perhaps it had been--I was new, reborn here on this spot. I was a good deal older than her, but I felt so young. Odds are I had only a few years left, and I could now find the means to look forward to them. I would live more in these next few years than I had ever done in the in the almost ten years I had already managed to waste. Didn’t the humans know that those who are married tend to live longer? Didn’t they want to milk as long as they could out of each creation? There was my justification--I was not defying my humans by daring to follow this woman as she beckoned me, I was improving upon their methods. I was evolving for them, not against them.

This being has mined past the stone around my heart, but I had worked for it, too. I could feel pride bubble up as I realized that I had been fighting for this for years. I had loved that feline so long ago, and those cubs that I had created in sin. I had loved Carska. I had loved and denied for so many years--but Rickalaru had not allowed me to do it again, and I had listened. If I had not wanted it, it wouldn’t have happened. A person’s will could be an amazing thing, but it could also be destructive. I had finally let my will build me up rather than tear me down.

Into the shelter I followed the waving tail, paw steps light. I found her sprawled before me, inviting me. Perhaps I should have been hesitant in the situation, it was so foreign to me. But I had been here once before. I was not so far gone that I would allow those long past memories to creep forward so that I could try and justify them, too. I had mated with a feline. I had corrected that wrong doing when I had killed her and our unborn children and gave them to Alpha as a sacrifice. That sin was forgiven now, the smell of blood pleasing my lords. This time I would be allowed. This time it was not wrong. This time I didn’t have to worry about the reprocussions.

It was time to let the heart guide me.

OOC//: Okay, this is where I cut it off. Feel free to tell me to lock and archive, or have a following post be a fast forward.

[nEwOL握敵]

FAST FORWARD


This sun was gone now, they moon having crept up and taken ownership of the sky's above. It and its comrades, the starts, poured down faint light into our little shelter for the moment. It had been a long day for me. A long but good day, in fact one of the best days I'd had in a long long time. Some of my hard work had finally paid off. I'd had to fight for Nym, I'd had to kill for him. But finally I'd managed to solve the puzzle on how to free him from his cage. Finally I'd set him free from the box that he'd build around himself. All of it had finally paid off. He was free now, and he was mine. It sent a surge of joyful warmth to my now bone tired body.

I was exhausted. Thoroughly and completely exhausted. First the mad sulk I'd went on this morning, then my hunt and all the energy that had sapped with all the sensations it had brought up, and now this coupling with my dear Nym. All my energy was spent now, and I knew I wouldn't be able to make it back to Vea Apxn this night, no. But the thing was it was a good tired. It was a pleasant tired. I was satisfied, more then satisfied now. I loved this creature here beside me, I could no longer question or deny it in my mind. Nym had me in his paws now. And the fact that I'd been the one to make it happen made it all the better.

I laid beside him now, eyes shut and a content smile on my face and I pressed myself against his chest, enjoying his warmth. My ear was pressed against that chest, listening to each rhythmic beat of the heart I'd helped to rekindle. The heart that now beat for me. Right now there was no rest of the world to me. Right now there was only this moment, this place, this time. I cared for nothing more as I edged the realm of sleep. All I could think as sleep's embrace drew closer and closer to me was He is mine now. I finally did it.


Ooc:// you can have her fall asleep in your post if you want, bhubalu love^_^

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

It was...strange....but in a good way. I was as exhausted and satisfied as if we had had a successful day of Hunting. Ah, scratch that--this was better than that. I felt good on so many levels. There was the obvious physical glee that trumped over the bone weariness. There was the mental euphoria, of course. But there was something more. A spiritual sense. With a heart a soul had been planted--and that soul was happy. I tucked my nose behind the woman’s ear and closed my eyes, breathing softly. This was...this was something good.

There were no words that I needed to say as this lady fell asleep against me. I knew sleep was drawing me forth, but I had a dream-like hesitance. Alpha would be searching, my pack wondering where I had gone. We had changed in this new era--we did not sleep wherever we wanted. We had a home to go to, and dogs that actually had some emotion towards your absence. More often it was annoyance rather than concern, but it was still a notice. They would know I was gone, and Vea Apxn would know that Rickalaru was gone, and the rain was not heavy enough to wash away our scents. They might find us. Here. Curled together. Raw.

Why was it I didn’t care?

A smile crept to my lips as I realized how true that was. I was not the least bit concerned whether or not we were found. I loved this woman, and the world would know. In fact, I made a mental note to let Alpha know of my sin as soon as I returned home. He could not say anything--he was faithful to not just any member of the rebels, but their leader. I would let him know that should we come to war, I would not harm my Rickalaru. He had to know he could not trust me to work against her. Sure, I will sell out any of the other dogs in that pack, but this one was mine. I would defend her.

I rested my chin on top of her head as my eyes drooped. We would return to our stations when the sun rose. But for now, the night was ours.