We Draw to the Close }{ [Bhu]

[nEwOL握敵]

Foo Fighters - The Best Of You


It had been a long and tiring day. Lots of work had been accomplished, and a successful hunt that I had lead helped to bring meat back to feed my Alphess pack. Though all day a shadow had been creeping up in the back of my mind. I knew too well what lay in the future. And I knew too well my attachment to the now. No rest would find me though. Not this night. Thank the humans for my altered stamina, and thank Skoll for the blessing of my strong body, for tonight I would need both. Tonight, though at the time I didn't know it, it all began. Tonight it all Began At The End. Tonight a choice would be made.


Finally the pack seemed to be winding down for the night. All members returning to their nests and dens, belly full from the hunt and in a semblance of content. When my companion had decided she'd had enough I'd followed her to her nest, as I'd done for a fair time now. Against my shoulder she'd laid until bedding down for the night. I, however, wouldn't find such peace. No. As the light faded from the sky and the moon and stars took over, all I could do was look down and her and think about him. My heart was claimed now. It belonged to another Folami. It belong to Nym. We where even mated for that matter. I wanted him, so badly. But I couldn't have him. Not here. Not in Vea Apxn. No. Here I had become alone. Here I wasn't at home any more. Slowly a cloud spilled over into my mind and voices flooded it. Voices of every lesson I'd learned. All that the wilderness and the Misfits had taught me.

Sound and Runner's voice echoed through me, and I could barely breath. "Well then come on, kid. We don't belong no where nether. You'll fit in just right with the rest of the pieces, cause none of them fit ether." Then next came a vision of the manned wolf who'd died protecting us "Don't worry, Friend. There's peace at the end of every road." A tear fell as I remembered how beautiful his body had been before his open throat had drenched it in blood. Next came an image of Runner standing of our first good meal in days, a moose he'd taken single paw, that massive timber, oh how he'd taken after his father, The Great King. "It takes great, strong shoulders to carry the burdens of a pack. To stand strong and be whats needed. It takes a lot of strength to make others strong. You know... Your pretty strong, and you've got some good shoulders, my girl." Then I recalled the white canine that had stayed with us for a short time, he'd always been bitter, always seemed hostile and secluded, but he'd always helped however he could with his body, I'd just not noticed at the time. "Yes I DO care. You need to care. And you need someone to care for you. If no one cares for you and you care for no one, then you literally have nothing left to do but go find a hole, lay down, and just Die!" After that, I shivered, given a chill at the voice of the King himself, the one time I'd seen him, taking Runner back home. His deep and commanding voice. "I'm sure you'll turn out just fine." And then, came the last time I'd ever saw him, and I couldn't even move.

The young hybrid standing before my on the edge of this land, his yellow eyes begging for mercy and his body language and face pleading to not be left alone once again all on his own, but his words telling otherwise. "We all belong somewhere. We just have to find it. I belong here, among those who belong no where. To help them find there way seems to be my purpose. You don't not belong anywhere anymore. You Belong with them. With your kind. They are a frail and young species. And if anyone can fight to save them, I know you can now. At the very least, your more beautiful then I could every hope to become. Don't waste that on me.... Go... Please. A single tear fell from my eye. I knew what I had to do now. I loved Nym. I'd set him free. I had to be with him. Vea Apxn was fine. It would do just fine with my Alphess at the lead.

Finally, I leaned over, and pressed my nose against my dear friend's forehead, oh so lightly, taking in a breath of her scent. Then I whispered into her sleeping ear. "I'm sorry, Carska. But you, of all Folami, should understand." Then I rose to my paws and removed myself. Slowly and quietly at first to avoid disturbing anyone, but then, once I'd gotten free of the encampment, I broke into a full speed run, suddenly all my tiredness gone. All I could think about was Nym. I deserved him, after what I'd been through for him. Not only that, I wanted him. I had to be quick now, the night was no longer young as I tore through the shrub desert. But the farther I went towards the border line, the slower my pace became. Those ties where just too strong, and my strength began to fade. I began to shake, and for the life of me, I began to sob. I was a BETA! I was the Guardian of Vea Apxn! I was a fekking cat killing Traitor!! I was leaving! I was abandoning my best friend! I was doing something Wrong Wrong WRONG!

When I finally made it to that line, the sky was purple, stars beginning to dim. I'd slowed to a crawl and finally, as I arrived where I knew the Vea Apxn land ended, I stopped completely. I couldn't do this alone, I realized as the tears fell from my eyes. I shut them tight and my lips drew back into a snarl as I fought with the pain. This was everything I knew sense I'd been reborn into the land of my kind. It was the only solid certainty I had. Nym, oh please, Nym... I need you now... All I do was stand there, looked in place by the chains that held me in place. At first he had needed me to break free. But now I needed him. I needed him to take me back to where it all started, all those millions of lost years ago.

I needed him beside me to Begin Again, Here at the Bitter End.


Word Count: 1151

ooc:// i am speechless... i just hope it isn't too much

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

Maybe it was cruel of me, but I never once claimed to be anything but. I was not a changed man by any real meaning of the word. Ah, perhaps I little guilt for not being completely honest proved that I was altered slightly, but not enough to be celebrated. A man will say anything when their hormones run rapid, so that was what was happening--I was mortal and my hormones had finally woken up. But there were a few truths to the past few months events; I did love Rickalaru, the lightest sense of the word. I would protect her from our fellow folami if need be, even if Bidziil were that folami. However, if a human comes along and decides she needs to be killed, or if a war erupts and Rickalaru sides with those opposing the humans, I will chose humans and I will send someone to kill her. Simple as that. Maybe it was my fearful respect of them (I was man enough to admit they intimidated me) more than the fact that I loved them more than I did her. I couldn't say for sure. Though, I could not imagine killing her by my own paw, so I guess I loved her more than I did them. Fear was simply a stronger emotion.

The biggest thing, though, was the fact that I did not believe in this family business her and Bidziil were toying with. I would humor them both for now, because I loved Rickalaru, and Bidziil was my alpha, but I when things start getting out of hand I will take action. I missed having blood in my pelt and seeing dogs eyes flee from me as I glared from Bidziil's shadow. I used to feed off that fear. Dogs were not frightened of me or our Alpha anymore and I was getting twitchy. I missed the power. But, again, for Rickalaru I would ignore my wants for now until they burst out of me like an angered beehive.

See, not a changed man. Just...more controlled.

My ears pricked, listening for her pawsteps or breathing in our normal spot by the border. Everyone in the pack knew she was eventually going to come, I had made a meeting about it. So when the evening patrol scented her in the distance, Bidziil simply nodded me off, dismissing me to retrieve her. What he did not know, though, is just because she was here, did not mean now was the time we were joining. The man was aware I had some feelings for her, so I assumed her guessed we met occasionally, but he probably did not think we met right at the border. I shrugged away the thought, not caring. If I came back with her, wonderful, it meant she was finally mine. If I came back without her, no one would probably even question, except maybe Bidziil, who was easy to please with excuses. He was all tied up with those Tamriel pups, now, spending all his non-hunting time there, as if he were the father. It bothered me, but the man was almost like his old self again--strong, stern, confident--so I would not argue him.

My eyes met the scene as I pushed past some bushes and broke into viewing range. Rickalaru seemed upset, so either someone had bothered her and I would have to go kick their ass, or, more likely, this was indeed the moment we had been waiting for and she was joining our pack. Either way, I moved forward and pushed my nose into her cheek in a warm, comforting greeting. "The sky's tint makes your fur look purple." I teased her lightly, whispering it by her ear confidently, in hopes that my friendly tone would take away some of the tenseness. Leaving friends behind had to be rough--I did not know because I had never had friends, but I could assume. So, forehead against her cheekbone, I flicked my eyes upward and waiting.

Waiting for that smile that I had become so very fond of.

[nEwOL握敵]

Finally, he found me. He always found me. I smelt him first, then heard him next. But I couldn't draw myself to look at him. I was throwing certainty away for a hope. He pressed his snout into my cheek and my jaw parted as I took a deep breath of oxygen into my lungs. He was here with me now. Some of the tension left me, but not all of it, as his voice fell upon my ears. Finally, he pressed his forehead against me in an attempt to comfort me. In response I buried my face into his neck and breathed in long drags of his scent. I bit down hard, my lips pulling back again into a pain stricken snarl, a few tears fell, but I forced myself not to sob. My mind struggled to find words to say. All I knew was that him, right here, beside me now, was a hope. And that the pack behind me was a certainty. I knew right now I had to make my choice. I had to pick what I was going to do. And I wanted to go with Nym, but I didn't want to question weather or not I was being a fool. I wanted to know for certain.

Finally I found my voice as my face finally relaxed and a little more tension left my body. I brought my maw to his ear and whispered the a line of song. "How long... I've Waited Hear for You... And then I dropped my head to his shoulder, resting my forehead against it as I sat on my rump. Finally I relaxed, but it was an exhausted relax. My muscles just couldn't stand to stay clenched any longer. My voice rose calmly as I prepared myself to step away. To step across that border and leave one pack for the other. "Am I a fool, Nym?" The question was simple, even though I feared his answer, I wanted it all the same. "Do you want who I am beside you, because if you truly do... then I'm yours, Tonight. I'll leave it all behind." The words fell from my mouth and I didn't attempt to stop them.

Maybe that was selfish of me, to give the choice to him like that, but even I had my limits. He'd told me, when last we'd met, that his heart finally beat freely. And that now it beat for me. Was this true? Maybe that's what I was doing. Was I testing him? Honestly could I be blamed? This was my soul, my very soul, that I was risking injury to, and if what he'd said then was true, then surely he'd be able to draw himself to say yes.

Oh please say yes. Please. If I am to leave everything behind for you, then you have to want me to aswell. Didn't that make sense? I'm sorry, but I was just too smart now. I was just too matured. Maybe all that time ago I would have been so naive, but then I wouldn't have been what Nym loved now. I would not just carelessly toss myself to the wind with out some solid hope that this wasn't just the heat of the moment, there was something real in all this.

Please Nym... Reassure me once again....

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I swallowed my flinch. I knew why she didn't use my name. In Biblical times, my name had been someone evil. I could feel how she doubted my cruelty here, and it made the guilt bubble up like bile. It made me want to be good, to prove her right. I knew I couldn't, it would all be a mask, but it was a mask I could put forward for the time being. It wouldn't hurt to snarl less and smile more. Times were peaceful, so dogs were hunting well and behaving. I could pretend to be the hero for a little while. For her.

"I would not love a fool, Rickalaru." It was more aggressive than gentle. I was not upset with her, but the question bothered me. This woman doubted her own judgement and she did not need to. I was surrounded my fools daily--I did not need the one reasonable dog in my life to be the one that believed there was something wrong with her. "More than anything." My response to her second question was an honest one. I wanted Rickalaru around me more than I even wanted the humans. My actions all stemmed back to fear, not want. If I was not so fearfully respecting of our human lords, I would chose to have both. I would take advantage of their silent observation era for as long as I could. For now I could have Rickalaru and still work for the humans. Even if the humans step forward and decide to take actions, I would still want this woman more than anything.

So I wasn't lying.

I pulled away from the contact with that and tried to meet her eyes, if she allowed. I wanted her to see the earnest truth behind my words. I would fight for this woman. I had sinned against the humans for her. I had battled against myself for her. Sacrifices had been made for her. I would not allow all that to be for nothing. I had gone through too much pain, and so had she. I would not allow her to make me fight and ache for my heart, and then allow her to break it due to fear. "I am yours and you are mine, there is nothing more to it." My gaze was sternly desperate. Stand by me, Rickalaru, and we will conquer the world.

[nEwOL握敵]

I focused on the words as they fell from his mouth, listening to how they vibrated withing the depths of his chest as they formed in his voice box. I had what I needed. He really did love me. That was all I needed. I'd be willing to fight through the rest. I'd be able to build upon this rock. I was hooked to him now. And where other, more properly made Folami might have thrashed against that hook, I willingly buried it deeper within myself. Slowly, the pain faded from my face, his words giving me the reassurance that I'd asked for. For a moment I merely pressed my ear against his chest and listened to his heart beat. I was oh so comforted by that sound. Maybe I was a fool, and just letting myself become putty in his paws. Honestly at the moment I didn't care. I just wanted to be happy. I'd worked hard for this, right? Sleepless nights, long, emotional conversations, my first feline kill in ages. I deserved to finally be just be happy for a little while, didn't I?

Finally, my soggy eyes opened and I gazed up at him, into his eyes. A smile spread across my face as my voice once again rose, just above a whisper, in a sing song voice. "Tonight... I've torn myself in two... Out of my head, out of her head she sang..." How long ago had it been sense I thought love to be a pointless and complicated ordeal? Better yet, why did it matter. Raising to my paws, I took a step back from him, and my ears folded back in submission, but my weak smile remained in place. I shut my eyes tight and violently shook myself. Shaking the weakness, the sorrow, the tears, just shaking it all off and getting blood to bring warmth back into my limbs. My composure needed to be back about me. I had to be strong in front of him now. After all I was venturing off to join his pack. I may have not been a fool, not for the moment at least, but I also wasn't weak ether. We both knew that by this point.

Taking one long, unsteady breath, followed by another long breath, this one actually steady, I brought my gaze back up to meet his. Lowering my shoulders to my male, I folded back my ears as I reached forward with my head and licked him twice on the underside of his maw, near his chin. Then finally I straightened back up. "I'm yours, Love. I will leave with you. I will return to my second pack. I want to be with you." I cast my head down at a slight angle as admission and realization took me. "I want to keep you this creature helped make you." I had said my second pack. This was true. My first pack I could never return to. Two of its members lay dead and the remaining three scattered by the wind. That first pack was gone. And it was never coming back. The first pack was as close to returning to the start as physically possible for me.

But now I had something I hadn't had before. I had Nym.



Word Cound: 552
Song: Everlong - Foo Fighters

ooc;// so... much... sappyness.... whats WRONG with me!?

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

OOC//: I know this thread is extremely short, but mind if we cut it here? I like the ending line as a finisher. I am shit for positive emotion threads, especially when I am working hard to keep Nimrod rough around the edges, so I am at a loss of how to really respond besides them just walking back into camp. No one will really have a reaction in mine or Ily's characters because Nimrod announced a while back this day would come. Bidziil will probably just dip his head stiffly in welcome and then return to his position by Tamriel and her pups. Everyone else will probably barely even look at her, haha. Sorry, again. I am just a big pile of fail for lovey posts. Whenever Ily and I try at them with our pairs, I either do complete shit posts, I drag them off the love course, or they have four posts and then end xD