Necessities of War {aw} }{ ILY BHU NEEDED

[Kunabee]

Kunabee

It was time. As the sun fell on my face I breathed, feeling... I don't know what. Guilt, pain, regret... and hope. Allana's words proved true. As I cried out that night the sun was at last restored. Our land was free of rain... and now, all of them were. The sweet sun felt like what joy was meant to be.

But it was not all good. In my bones, something was coming. It tingled all over, from the tips of my ears to the tip of my tail. Humans were angry. Folami were uniting further. And felines? Well, we were learning, I suppose.

But either way, Esson needed to be ready. We were not a combatant group, but we needed self defense. Perhaps, I reflected wryly, we could ask Ende for help. But would they help Folami? Oh, we could ask many for help - but would they help both species?

Anyways, we all knew a little bit. We all had a bit of knowledge, we could all defend ourselves. To work as a team, however... Well, most of us were loners. We were used to fighting singularly, or with a partner. Ende's military style allowed them to work together, following orders. But how could we modify that, to work with our individual strengths, defend our weaknesses.

Instead of orders, what if we could give, say, signals to each other? Like our own secret code? I twitched my tail. Well, only one thing to do! I would normally turn to Vice and Daniel, but with Daniel missing and Vice pregnant, it was no time to ask them. So, the other two that I'd trust in a meeting - Kite and same. Let's see. Geronimo would help too. We could brainstorm off of each other.

Thoughts of future war and battles swirling in my head, wondering how Folami and feline could ever truly coexist - damn you, Denerbe, and your stupid doubt-givings! - I scanned the camp for some of my most trusted members.

I found Kite first, interacting with Ivan. I smiled at the boy. I knew he was still nervous here.

"May I borrow your mother for an hour or two?" I asked him kindly, Kite already eager to do whatever she could to help.

[I L Y I C H]

Ears perked forward I watched uncertainly as my small leader walked about her camp. Jittery as always, but in a different way now. uncertainty streamed off of her furs in revolts. The was a war on the horizons that much was obvious, but not a war for Esson. Worry dragged at my already heavy stomach. Thick with both pregnancy and anxiety, I stood as quickly as I could. Defense was vital, but I wasn't entirely sure why Kunabee was going to her cheetah friend. If this was what the woman had in mind then should she not find someone far more experienced then a smaller feline who simply lived on her own for some time? I knew of Sam's fighting past. Could she not go to the snow leopard instead? Or even me. I may not be the most empathetic of cats but I understood the need to defend my pride mates.

It made me wonder if I was thought less of these days. Lost my husband and my daughter in one fail swoop with no explanation. Undoubtably I was thought less of. Perhaps it was for Kunabee the fact that I had little experience in expressing my emotions. I was missing them, I would swear by that, but I had repressed for too long to show this tiny cat my sorrows. It would do no difference. But I had existed in a folami facility for most of my life, and had fought and trained alongside them all the entire time. My Daniel had been there with me. Gone now, yes, but I trusted him. Bleakly in the back of my head I knew this vanishing act was my own fault. It had to be, for Ashley to follow after the gray man. I'd done something to upset them both and not noticed until it was too late. It was my doing so I would ignore it for now. Ignore it until I couldn't hold back the tidal flow of panic that had begun to push and pull at my chest the moment I had found them both gone.

Standing on my four paws I knew how heavy I looked now. It concerned me enough without having others look at me oddly too. I was far too heavy for how far along I was. Large children would cause other difficulties. But it was too late to do anything about that. Another thing to ignore and hope righted itself. Too much hope made my stomach burn in fear. Making my way back across camp I caught the last of Kunabee's question. Referring to Kite it would seem. Sam was referred to as father in this setting. The pallid leopard in question lifted her head up from her paws. She was laying close to her family, and now those sharp eyes were boring into Kunabee. The woman didn't trust the irimote farther then she could throw her. It was a trait that had been inborn in her. Not that I could very much blame Sam. War was on the horizon. Not for us, but the danger leaked like shadow into the dusk filled forests.

We all stood behind Kunabee for her kindness. Her acceptance. We did not look to her as a commander. Or at least I did not. A spiritual leader of sorts, but no general. How could a cat barely taller then a house pet lead any sort of army without the personality to back it up? That was a personality that this alpha lacked. Strategy was not the knowledge of the scholar as much as they might think it was. Danger was destructive and war was a nasty business. A place for soldiers and monsters. A place for creatures like me. "What goes on?"

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I leaned in closer to my father as the iriomote approached. I would let my mother handle her, daddy and I preferring not to take part in the leader’s little games. Kunabee’s eyes fell on me, though, which forced me to pull away from Sam in a stiff sitting stance, staring blankly at the alpha. I shrugged at her question. Mom was comfortable and felt safe enough with the others in this pride, so she could do as she pleased. “I know why you want her and it seems rather silly, though.” I mumbled. “Dad is the one with war experience. She’d be more helpful.” I sat my ears back as soon I said it, glancing over my shoulder towards Sam in apology. I had spoken before remembering she was like me--she didn’t want anything to do with these people. She was only here for Kite, like I was.

“Besides,” I tried to save my father, “I have seen the human forest. Odds are they won’t come this way. I know Denerbe isn’t one to be trusted, but she is honest if nothing else. She said this war is between man and the packs. They have no reason to push as far as Esson. Humans are many things, but they aren’t stupid. They won’t chase after the loners when it is just easier to wipe out the packs and let the loyal folami do it for them.” I saw in my peripheral as Geronimo approached, having heard speak of folami and growing anxiously curious. He looked to Kunabee once I was finished speaking, nodding agreement, though it was clear he was a bit more restrained in his motions. He was loyal to Kunabee, so disagreeing with her seemed to bother him.

“Ivan is right.” He looked to Vice, seemingly comforted by the appearance of the pregnant female. The woman had a similar past as he did, though she clearly had less prejudice against folami than him. “Anyone who has had first hand experience with the Folami trainers knows they are efficient, if not simply lazy. We are in no more danger now than we ever were in the past. I don’t think we will ever get past being prey to those dogs.” I saw the man shiver slightly with his words. I felt his terror, for it was my own. It was a relief most of the folami being gone. I felt bad for Vice and Jazz (Jazz had been pouting for almost two months straight now, speaking very little and no longer her bossy self), but I couldn’t help the selfish side of me saying good riddance.

[Kunabee]

Kunabee

Well, so much for keeping Vice out. I felt bad. I could tell - she thought I didn't trust her. Of course I trusted her. I just didn't want her to have more pain. Ah, if only my trusted friends could understand my innermost thoughts. I didn't want to cause Vice any more pain; but it seemed she was interested in it anyway. And I felt their other emotions, as well. I was not fit to lead a battle. But I could feel it coming, the electricity in my tail.

"Well, Ivan, since we're all here, you're free to participate," I told him with a nod. I sat down, looping my tails around my paws. I gazed around at my friends.

"We all know something is coming," I began, solemly. My gaze roved around my most trusted friends (well, and Geronimo, but something in him...). Trying to read their thoughts from their body language, their reactions. Kite was intent on me, her eyes bright but her face solemn.

"My memories of my life as a pet are foggy," I told them all, "But I remember some things. Great metal beasts they called 'cars'. Loyal and unable to disobey." I shivered briefly at the memory of riding in one, to a place called the "vet's". "To help us, they have sharp needles and cold metal seats. To cage us, it is metal bars and wooden fences, brick walls. To harm us... Well, I'm certain we at least have heard of them." Once again I shivered.

"Humans - ah, murder apes. Murder apes are not prone to giving up. They have a goal and they will reach for it. Right now, the Folami are an obstacle, and they will attempt to destroy said obstacle. I hope to remind you - " My gaze went firmly to Geronimo and Ivan, though it was still kind. "That as few as there are, there are still Folami in this group." I cringed mentally for sympathy with poor Vice.
I'll get Daniel back for you, I swear, I told her mentally. But with alphess duties... What could I do? I shook my head, and continued.

"Let us not forget that the murder apes' original intentions were to destroy felines, kill us off. After the Folami, they will attempt such again. Maybe this time with a species that has no mercy." I paused, swishing my tail once, before curling it around my paws again. "This is why I want this so-called war council. We are not safe, nor will we ever be, until the humans are destroyed or - dare I say it? - peace is made. And anyway, I have friends amongst the Folami." I didn't go on from there.

My speech finished, I bowed my head, waiting for the response from the others.

"I'm with you, Kuna, at least," Kite piped up, "But... why would you want me to help you?[/i]"

I smiled at her. "Because those two," I poked my tail at Ivan and Sam, "Don't trust me."
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[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I listened to her, but the words rolled right off my back. The humans wouldn't be coming out here. This wasn't our war--but if Kunabee wanted to take precautions, I wouldn't argue it. One could never be too prepared. It would prove unneeded here, but at least then we could have something to lean on when Ende pushed at our borders. Now they would be effected by the human verses pack war, and in turn they may become more violent in our direction. I was only a child so I would keep this thought to myself, but it is with that figuring that I would give in to listening to the nonsense.

I stared blankly at the iriomote as she pointed out Sam and my lack of trust in her. "Let me stop you right there, please. I don't trust anyone but my parents, but I don't trust through my parent's, either. I will work with you because I think anything we discuss here can be used on Ende when they broach our territory, not because mom stands by you." I let myself smile rigidly. I didn't want to be rude and make the woman hate me--that created a threat. Not to mention I had nothing against her personally--I just had the people I needed and didn't want any more baggage than that.

I felt Geronimo shift beside me as he tried to pretend like the idea of Folami still being in the group didn't bother him. I was rather impressed when he spoke with a concerned voice. "Which reminds me, I have to ask, how is that Yone character handling her family all being gone? She had to be weaned about a month and a half prematurely. I can't believe Denerbe let her daughter stay--or maybe I can. She has the other two, still. It seemed irresponsible for us to let her stay, but I guess I just know nothing about kids." He shifted to look at Kunabee again, his eyes having wandered as he thought. There was clearly a bit more compassion in the tom than he let on--he was just afraid of Folami, it didn't mean he hated them. Yone was a child.

Me, I was very open with my lack of compassion for them. They were created by Murder Apes, and had too many of their traits whether they wanted to or not.

[I L Y I C H]

Ears flicking back sharply I could not fully withhold the curl of my lips in response to Kunabee's words. Perhaps it was cruel of me but I couldn't stop the anger in me. Who did this little child think she was kidding. "I remember. Being a toy. No pet for Vice." Voice cold despite the awkward tones it always held I stared down at the much smaller creature. "Remember cages and guns and cars; not loyal but machines." Hard tawny eyes flicking to Geronimo I stared equally unhappily at him. "Sure you remember to. Folami teeth and human orders." Sitting down roughly to curl my claws into the dry dirt, I frowned deeply as I looked around before ducking my chin to my chest and speaking the last of my words to the ground. I lacked the social graces to be willing to look at them all for much longer. It made me anxious as an unsettled wasp. "Do not speak as if understand angry humans. Know nothing of evil."

Sam had stood when I had sat, her tail lashing angry behind her for what I would assume the same reason as my own. Those sapphire blue eyes watched anxiously from the sidelines as others spoke. Her face twitched at our leader's flippant disregard of those around her. Damnable Kunabee. She did not think before she spoke her thoughts and in so damaged what reputation she held. I could see the spark in Sam's eyes even now. Kunabee had lost the viciously loyal in an instant. The snow leopard drew into herself, face pinched as she twisted her ears to listen to her son. "Defense is vital to this pride." She spoke up gruffly, looking even more uncomfortable with it then I had. "And I will trust you to try and defend it. But no. I do not trust in your ability to do so. We have to work at this together. Not you and a couple of favorites who are sweet as you'd like-"

[/b][/i] A small apologetic look was sent towards Kite as the leopard went on talking in her rough low voice.

"You need to be willing to go to the three of us who have the most experience with not just humans but fighting itself." A snort was given as Sam sat back down, her whiskers twitching unhappily. "Trust me first princess. I wont let anyone hurt my family, so don't go about acting like I don't need to be apart of this conversation." Sam had a point despite how crude and rudely she had thrown it forward. Why had we not all been called forward? It drove a spike of uncertainty into me. Did she think us weak? For our associations with the humans? With folami? We could handle the reminders. We were not weak children with complexes. Flicking my tail to Geronimo I stood up again with less aggression then the previous time.

"We never been safe. Never will be. But don't need Folami." Shaking my head I looked down at Kunabee, frown firmly in place on black lips. Daniel was gone. Ashley was gone. Denerbee and two of her children were gone. The only supposed 'savior' we had was Yone who had been weaned far too early and was all but certain to be a sickly child because of it. "Folami fight same way as cat. Taught with us." Shrugging I nodded once more to Geronimo, flicking my gaze over Sam's as the woman stared back at me. Just as untrusting as she was with Kunabee, but more willing to listen to me as a fighter. We were after all very alike in that way. "Man come from south west. Yes? Not come here. Ende and Akando problem. Make them our problem. Not folami." Flicking my ear I sat back down. "Prepare ,yes. Not for human. For Ende. Symphony more dangerous then human can hope to be. With his pride in danger. Man will do what he needs."
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[Kunabee]

Kunabee

Ah - and there my voice caused discontent. I shook my head. Wishing they could be as aware as I was.
"I didn't come to Vice because Daniel is not here, at the moment," I told them, "And I didn't notice you, Sam, right away, otherwise I'd have wanted you as well. Geronimo was my other choice." I shook my head.
"I am full of faults, I admit this, but I am not stupid, nor am I blind. Denerbe had planted the seed of doubt in Daniel that had him leave - which means that weed can be taken out as well. Vice, you lived with Folami and humans for a good long time - you know a lot about both. But I will tell you that the softer side of both is just as important as the harshness which they hold."

My voice, from the gentle, soothing tone it held turned suddenly harsh, an almost angry thing, as I lashed my tail. "I know you all think me incompetent in such matters." Kite hung her head; even she had issues with believing in my abilities. I wouldn't blame her. "But I'll tell you know I trust this whole damn pride, now that Denerbe is out least ways. I don't care for your reasons why you joined, or why you think I am stupid. Or why you don't trust me. I will tell you now I'd have kicked you all out if I didn't trust you." My eyes were harsh; once more I lashed my tail. I rose to a standing position.

"You are right about Ende and Akando perhaps making moves on our territory, but there's a lot more than that." I took a deep breath.
"You are all at great risk here for one reason and one reason allow. We don't follow the human's every word, obey their every command. That's why they're going after the Folami. Esson will be attacked by humans; when, I do not know. If you do not believe me, so be it, but at least trust that it's best to prepare for such a danger."

I sat down again, my voice and expression softening, my tail settling. "As for Yone," I said with soft regret, "She chose to stay. I would never force her to do anything. Though I do worry about her health. Still, I believe in the power of choice, and she's old enough to make her own choices." I nodded solemnly, feeling the weight on my shoulders.

With people who did not trust me. With these who judged me. I stared blithely at my paws. Why was it so hard to gather friends? Not for the first time, I longed for Bhuvana and Mahal. Our friendship was a strange one, but they were forever in my heart. But Mahal had Vea Apxn and is own life - and doing a very good job with it, I might add - and Bhuvana was lost in the fields of her own pain.

I looked up again. No faltering, not now or ever. I would always be needed. Narcissistic of me, maybe, but if I weren't needed I'd take myself away from this terrible place. I would forget myself, and lose myself. So I needed to tell myself, over and over again, that I was needed.

"Yone seems... lost. She's in a bit of mourning, I think. Sulking a lot. Her mother left her." I shrugged. And then I turned to Ivan and smiled at him.

"Dear boy, I have no issue with you," I informed him, "And you can say what you want plainly. I'm not an enemy, at least I try not to make them, and it takes a bit to offend me." I shrugged, the smile falling. "Anyway, trust is your choice. Care about who you want to care about. We've all had our hard times."

Kite, for once, was entirely silent. She moved next to Sam, sitting down and leaning slightly on her, having trouble... with what, I couldn't say. She just seemed... distant, and slightly hurt. Oh, no. Not again.

Right now, it would be wonderful to be a loner again, where I could run away from this giant screw-up. Next time, I'm letting these guys do their own war council and keeping out of it.

[I L Y I C H]

A sharp snarl ripped across the air as I stood roughly, glaring down at the insignificant little cat. "Not Daniel's thing." Snapped crossly I curled my lip at Kunabee. "Daniel not played with by Bee. Ashley tell me before they left. Folami looking to kill loners. They leave to protect us." How dare this little beast look me in the face and imply that my mate was weak willed and easily manipulated. Imply that the black folami was some trickster. Perhaps she was odd and violent in her curiosity but she had been so careful and loving with her children. That counted for something. Tail lashing I kept my gaze locked angrily down on the feline who barely stood to my knees. "We not think you incompetent we know you incompetent. No fighting experience. Must relent that your ideas of things not right ideas. Not always." Softening my stare slightly I stood up a bit straighter and fought my hackles back down. Calm myself. Must force myself down until I stopped being angry. A thing I'd had to learn in those early years. "Not stupid, Kunabee. Just not wise in all places of knowing."

Must remain calm and not snap how I wanted to at this childish woman. No she was not stupid. Kunabee could be very intelligent when it was in a subject she had experience, but that did not mean she needed to be so utterly stubborn in areas where she truly knew nothing. It was nice to know that the irimote thought she had control here. An alpha with no power. A spiritual leader perhaps. I did not look forward to the moment when Ende attacked this place. We wouldn't be properly prepared. Not all of us. At least not the ones looking anxiously for humans when they were not the problem. Swallowing another breath I clsoed my eyes and shook my head. "Human not care for cat any more. Not matter. This war of pride. They lost folami pack. Want pack back. No care for loners, never have." Blinking tawny eyes I frowned thickly. Man didn't give two shits about us anymore. Not with their strings being broken by their precious hounds. "Man not near here. Man not care of Esson. Make no sense to them. What we fear from them should be dog nothing more. Even that rare. Too far south with river guarding us."

Shaking my head again I shuffled backwards slightly. Sam's eyes followed me roughly, narrowed slightly as she tried to keep Kite, Ivan and herself in view at all times. It wasn't work well for her if the anxious lifting of her hackles were of any evidence. "Ende swim, though. Ende know how weak we are. Easy spoils. They be pushed from south they will push north. Must prepare for them, not ifs on man that will not happen." It aggravated me on a deep level that she would not listen to me. My entire life had been spent in a human's cage. Leashed to a human's hand. I knew how they thought in war. How conniving they thought they were but how utterly block headed they truly fought. I knew them. I knew how they acted how they treated the world around them and she dismissed my expertise as if it were a fly near her food. It drove the bile up in my throat and curled my lip. Brought my temper up and I couldn't force it back down for one singular moment. My careful control had fallen into the folami like personality I had been given over my years in the fighting ring for human purposes.

"Mother not leave Yone." I snapped. "You not just say chose to stay?" Huffing crossly I turned in a sharp circle. "Child not old enough to make choice but made it. Skoll help her should she ill." And she surely would. Not animal could be separated from their mother so early without consequences. Stunted growth was the least of that pup's problems. Lacking all of the immunity her mother would have finished supplying her that last month or two? Skoll only knew if the child would survive it. Sulking had nothing to do with any of our worries. Flicking my ears backwards I fixed my eyes on Ivan, wondering what Kunabee truly thought of the boy. He didn't trust anyone but his parents. Obviously he deserved such an idea, orphaned before Sam and Kite had found him. There was no telling what horrors he had seen with such young eyes. His father snapped her tail roughly behind her in response, standing abruptly to lean forward all but looming.

"You keep telling us to talk plainly but you won't to look at any other opinion. You ain't the only smart kitty here Mrs. Alpha." One paw lifted threatening the snow leopard reverted back to her old training, claws slipping from their sheaths though no other motion of threat was made. "You ain't near the strongest neither." That paw was set down but Sam drove her needle sharp claws into the ground instead of reshealthing them. "I trust you to protect your pride, dammit. Okay? You don't need to keep going on trying to prove it. I would just really like to have what Vice and the rest of us say actually make it through your fucking skull." The woman rippled her hackles and rolled her shoulder apologetically when Kite moved to lean against her. Dropping her skull slightly the snow leopard nudged Kite towards Ivan instead of her. Sam wanted to offer comfort but she was extremely anxious at normal times. Now it looked as if every well toned muscle in the fighter's body was coiled to a breaking point. No one wanted to be touched in that state. It just made it five times worse.

Watching them quietly I gave one last rough shake of my head. "Leaving." I said the word roughly, swinging my heavy head to look down at Kunabee. "Will be near river crossing. Watch for Ende. Will come back when am needed." Turning about face on a soldier's march I moved easily back across camp. Pregnant I was, but still stronger then many members of this pride. Still willing to guard them from the real issue. And if my cubs must be born away from a camp then so be it. Without Daniel and Ashley here I had only one reason to stay and I doubted the lioness' willingness to do so. "Will Jazz come with Vice?" Half way across camp I ducked my head enough to breath softly next to my daughter's skull. "Daniel and Ashley come to find us once this is over. Be fine."

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

Almost everyone was getting involved in the discussion, if it could even be called that. My ears sat back against my skull, chin leaning on a textured stone towards the far side of camp. They weren’t trying to be quiet--the only voice I had difficulty hearing clearly was Ivan, but the boy was just a low talker anyway. I could feel a prick of frustration swell into my chest. They were all behaving like children. So lost in their concern over different wars, they either grew angry or blind. Fear of war would tear the family Esson had grown to be apart. More than that, even--I could hear it in Sam’s voice more than Ivan or Kite’s, the way this disagreement over unimportant areas would stress the more personal relationships. I knew Ivan, he wouldn’t pick a side even when it was clear his opinions were more in tune with his father’s. He would dance between the two of them, having to climb through the rift every day if the parents allowed one to form. That wasn’t fear. They shouldn’t have even allowed such a young kid, even if he was intelligent, into such an emotionally driven conversation. War was not a child’s place. War had destroyed my family. I don’t know who was right, Kunabee or my mom. I believed Ashley had not lied to Vice, but Daniel could have lied to Ashley. I never spent much time with Denerbe in her time here, and people lie all the time. The woman had eaten her still born, so she was clearly different. I didn’t care the reason they left--I knew it was with the best intentions of protecting my mother and me, but that didn’t make it sting any less. Ashley had not said goodbye to me. I had looked for her and when I asked my mother where she was, Vice told me. It hurt.

I honestly didn’t care what came to kill us--Ende, Akando, or the humans--I just wanted them to hurry up already.

When my mother announced she was going to guard near the Ende border, and then invited me along, I slowly rose to my paws. “Of course. There isn’t anything here for me.” My tone was quiet, not at all the eager child I once was. Life had forced me to grow up. If Ashley could leave me, then I knew I couldn’t lean on anyone. Of course, no one chances one hundred percent--I was still outspoken, though not as often. I proved it by storming up to the arguing group with narrowed eyes. I didn’t care if I made enemies, at least then I wouldn’t be able to let myself fall into my comfort zone anymore. “You all are acting like children.” My gaze snapped from Sam, all the way down to each face until it rested finally on Ivan. At least he was a child. “I may be a hypocrite but anger solves nothing,” looking to Sam and Vice, “nor do you always know what you’re talking about.” Kunabee and Kite. “Why you would even consider the nice humans is beyond me. The nice, gentle ones are not the ones coming out here. Forget about them. We all know humans have a kind side, but that doesn’t matter when it is between the proud ones and the dogs. The proud ones are not the nice ones. There. End of story. Quit being naive idiots.” I looked back to Sam, eyes skipping between her and my mother. “And you two need to chill the hell out. You lose your tempers and we only grow further apart. You think Ende won’t use that to their fucking advantage? If Kunabee is being a dick just sit on her and make her listen to you. Grow up or there won’t be any Esson to defend anymore and our petty feelings won’t mean two shits anymore.” I left it at that, turning away from every single one of them.

Without Ashley I had no reason to put on a pretty smile and act like I gave a shit about any of these people. I loved them, but their emotions were the problem. Sometimes you need to get your pride kicked around to realize you are insignificant. I had learned that the hard one. I never thought Ashley could leave me because I was confident in her feelings towards me. Well, she was gone and I now understood how little I was. It was time to pass the lesson on.

“Come on, mom, lets go stare at Ende.”

[Kunabee]

Kunabee

At Vice's words I fought back the wanting to cry. I listened, like I had been the whole time.
"You're not listening to me. Ende is a problem, yes. I trust you to know humans, but I know humans as well. We all do, in different ways." It was quiet. I didn't have the energy to fight. And she was in denial. I refused to step on that. Perhaps I should stop talking.

Jazz, however, spoke up. I turned to the girl, listening. Understanding. And she called us children. Behaving like them, at least. Not at all well-behaved. I bowed my head in shame.
Still, though. I had tried to get them to listen to me. The humans were a threat; Jazz was right about the kind side not being the problem. For all my attempts at diplomacy I was a total failure.

Or, maybe not. Maybe I could go to Ende and see if we could protect ourselves without fighting. A diplomatic mission, so to speak. I'd head out a secret way, make sure nobody knew... Not like they'd miss me. They'd probably be overjoyed.

Kite layed down, curling herself partially around Ivan. She tilted her head up at Sam.
"Your temper isn't a problem,[/i]" she said quietly. "Kunabee just didn't listen."

I stiffened as I heard the words I wasn't meant to hear. I shook my head.
"I'm leaving," I announced, "Sam and Kite, you'll take over leadership responsibilities. I'll be back in a couple of days. If you can, work on fighting with others as a group."
Without waiting for a response, I bolted off, trying to escape everything.

I heard Kite call after me, "Kuna, wait!" But I kept going.

*
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Yone

The war council was loud. I could hear the anger in Vice and Sam's voices. Kunabee, who raised her voice to be heard. Kite, who was mostly quiet. Geronimo, too. Couldn't hear Ivan at all. But he was a weirdo. That's why I didn't like following him.

"Chose to stay[/i]" and "left her" Two phrases Kunabee used to describe my situation. Both apt. I wanted to stay. If Mama actually loved me, she would have stayed just a couple of months more. But she didn't. In frustration, I got up and bounded after Kunabee.

She felt more like a mother than Mama did, and she was smaller than me.

And nobody here was a very good mother.
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