Bible Belt [bokor, sacrifices]

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

They were asleep by my command at this point. I held the respect I had longed for, was loved by those who cared to call me Mother. I would help them in their journey to peace, hold their paw each step until their Father was convinced that they were worthy. It was not my call, though my opinion was valued--I was biased. He looked fond at them, more with satisfaction than simply his paternal love now. My heart swelled with pride each time I caught his eye--I had helped create this, this family. That word, it hummed whimsically as it bounced through my thoughts. I had never had a family, not really. The Murder Apes had given me a warm, happy life during my time with them, so had Alia and the others so blindly following after Dio, but they were not my family. The Murder Apes considered me an object, it was their way. And Dio's pets were ignorant, guided by a hand they couldn't see, a voice they rarely heard. And all for what? So that maybe someone might listen to them say it was possible to find peace? What proof did they have that convinced them, nevermind those outside the group?

I narrowed my gaze at the bitter venom that ran ice through my veins. My neck fur had risen and I found myself shaking mildly in the soft light of dusk, pushing away the negative hold. That was all the distant past now--hate and disgust could be buried beside the broken loves in the box of memories I didn't need to have anymore. This was a new beginning, I could feel it in my bones. This was the night of the Night Mother and Star Gazer. I wished to go and ask Bokor to hurry and wake our Children to start the offerings, but that would be beyond my rights. It was the Ligers call, and I could only come between him and the communication he held with his Siblings. They would tell him when Abeni, Yanamai, and Cult were worthy, their blood pure and devoted. Perhaps it was only my love for them that caused me to believe it time, or maybe Bokor's Sisters were whispering into my heart to allow my pride to be justified. Either way, the tip of my tail flicked back and forth as I stood from the patch of moss I had slept in, eager and frustrated, willing the Night Mother to push down her twilight blanket and the Star Gazer to litter our skies with her garden of light, so that my mate and children might rise for a fresh night.

I sat down beside my daylight nest as I pulled my tongue through my short hairs to untangle the few scraps of lose moss and twigs left from a solid day's sleep. A soft sound of large paws hitting the dust caused my ears to flick to my right. Emerald eyes flashing warmly, I stood to meet Abeni as she approached me, her eyes still heavy with sleep. It had been difficult for her above us all to adapt to the sleeping schedule, raised by canines and thus not given the nocturnal instincts of felines. Many pushed aside such things to adapt to this world, but out childhood's still kept the ability alive. The woman dipped her skull in respect to me before finding a seat a couple paces away, sitting neatly and began to groom herself in silence. Soon Yanamai had bounded over, purring a greeting before joining Abeni. The girl's exchanged hushed words and shared tongues affectionately, as close as any siblings ought to be. I smiled to myself as I returned to my place by my nest, the dark falling heavier as the final traces of the sun dipped behind distant mountains.

Soon my beloved Bokor would rise. Soon, perhaps, my beautiful Children will find their peace that they seek.

[I L Y I C H]

Was this what family looked like? I knew at times I worried my father, this new father of mine, with my distance. It was simply too much at times. This... oddity. Raised as I had been I could never really fathom the idea of such a thing, yet my instincts begged for it. A place to feel safe, which was all I'd ever really wanted. I'd think thats what mother, Hatti, had wanted too. She'd let us kill her. She'd wanted to leave us, to go find her own safe place. Perhaps not leave us. Despite everything I knew my blood parents had truly loved one another; Gods only knew what Lucifer did now. Yet it was none of my business. I was suppose to be at peace here, but I wasn't. I was still at the whim of my dreary thoughts. Lost to the past.

But I was folami, and royal by all rights. A Domingo. If there was anything I had gained by blood from Hatti it was bitter determination. Passion. Had my young mother gone to her Skoll, I wondered? The thought brought heat to my eyes. I'd never admit it to these cats that I laid a good strong pace away from, but I regretted all of this. Regretted that it had had to happen this way. I wished with all my being that I could have been a family with Hatti and Lucifer. With my brother who had helped me murder our mother. But that was the past. That was the past, and Bokor said we must remove the past from ourselves. Memories would only kill you slowly.

Letting out a low ragged sigh I lifted my head from pale paws, turning diluted tawny eyes towards the small gathering. Despite my thoughts and the hesitance of my own mistrusting personality I was happy here. For once in my life. Almost safe. Almost free. Bokor had held out his heavy paw and offered me a safe place. The only thing in the world that I needed so badly it shook my soul to hear it. Still. Mistrust ran circles around my mind. Maybe these cats around me felt the same. Maybe they wanted that safe place too, but I'd always been more of a loner then a dog had any right to be.

Soon it wouldn't matter what my feelings were on the subject of our close interaction. I would be with the Star Gazer. In the quiet of the night I had long sense ducked into. Watching the two lioness' interact I felt my hackles go back down, nightmares fading into the dark. Quiet overtaking my worries. Sighing once more, softly this time, I settled silent curious eyes on the ocelot mother. Fear was the truth in love. What attached us in this mortal world mattered little. One day soon we would be elsewhere, and then these long grueling days would no longer matter. Wings would be tucked around me; I could almost feel them now.

The night mother's shadows were a caress now, and I would wait patiently.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

A soft sound passed my lips, a sigh yet not so heavy. I was content. The moment I handed myself over to Bokor and he had taken me as his for all intensive purposes mate, I had known I would be okay. My heart had gone out to Kunabee when she pushed herself to stop me from making what she thought was a mistake. It was no mistake. Kunabee found happiness where-ever she was, following no gods but knowing joy on her own. I was not one for such a mindset, I had needed Bokor and his Siblings. Happiness could not be wrong, I had come to believe. Perhaps there had been another path to it a long time ago, but Alec had chosen his fear over what could have been. I smiled softly as I realized no more heat gripped my heart at the thought of my lost companion. His path may have guided him from me, but it had not been completely in vain. Through his death I had made a mad soul find peace. It had been in Dio, but peace was simply in the eyes of the beholder.

Shifted my emerald stare, my gaze fell lightly onto the canine amongst us. When Cult had come to us I had had an instinctual skepticism. I knew all beings deserved the peace that could be found through the Star Gazer and Night Mother, but many sleepless nights had past as anxieties from experience warned me how unstable a Folami mind could be. Bokor had done what he could with his gentle tones to soothe my ruffled fur, and over a short time I had come to view dearest Cult with the same trust and affection I did to both my lioness daughters. It was with this that guilt also sat--as just a cat I had once been, I had judged our daughter harshly, even if only within my own thoughts. No amount of kindness could convince me I would ever make it up to Cult, even if she would never know how brutally my mind had treated her. Oddly enough, it had been Abeni's complete and utter trust and love for her former pack-mate that forced me to see past my barriers. The child-adult was living proof that Folami could break past the constraints holding them fast to their maker's will. I had forgotten how fragile a thing fate is.

Moving slowly over to my canine daughter, I placed myself a good inch or two beside her. I did not let our fur touch as I would have with Yanamai and Abeni--this woman was different than our lioness counter-parts. Mistrust was in her blood and I did not wish to push the girl away by trying to drag her closer. "The night is calling, my love, are you ready should your Father give the word?" Though the blood may be pure, the heart may be hesitant. I know Bokor and his Siblings will not force upon anyone what they do not want. Abeni and Yanamai were openly eager for what this night may bring, but to find the peace we seek, the Children must all journey together. The lioness' would wait patiently if our dear Folami sister was not yet ready for the journey.

A small twinge in my heart sprung up. My children may be leaving this very night, and it would be just Bokor and I to start once more. It would be my first goodbye of many in my service before time caught up to take me. Was I strong enough to let go? I had done it before, but this time it felt different.

This time it was my family.