Naked Underneath }{ aw

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

TELL ME, HAVE I CHANGED?
IN YOUR EYES, AM I SOMEBODY ELSE?

I didn’t like this. No, I didn’t like this one bit.

Since I had become alpha of Akando several months ago, I had been so preoccupied with the pride that I had neglected my dear Izaray. Jasninon was still a very real threat to my throne but, more importantly, my place as Izaray’s mate. I loved the woman with every fiber of my being; she had the cold cruelty and cunning calculation that I had once shared. Now my heart was hard, but no longer cold. I was stern, but not cruel.

I missed the days when I didn’t care if I hurt someone’s feelings.

I paced between two sinkholes. Moments earlier, I had gotten ankle deep in one, leapt back, pulling with full force, only to get unstuck, step back, and get ankle deep in the other. Now I hovered on the sliver of land between them, panting with the effort as the adrenaline died away. I had come out here to hunt a hare or something plump for Izaray—a small gift to let her know I still thought the world of her. I too often feared she would hate the fact that I don’t spit on weakness anymore; I simply frown at it.

Of course, it wasn’t all by choice. The Folami in camp was a gentle one, and I felt the beast was enough of a danger, even in his injured state, that I should match myself up to him. I had formed my personality to be able to coexist with his, for fear that one harsh word towards him or someone he had come to like would result in my own injury. And Dio only knew who the beast had come to like—he was a friend to all, it had come to seem. I scowled at the land, having caught my breath. That dog needed to hurry up and die already.

I smiled, feeling my own personality wiggling forward in the absence of the Folami. I had matured since my senseless arrogance of cub days, but the true me was not a great deal kinder. If only I could show Izaray and Jasninon I had not gone soft, then maybe I could put my own paranoia to rest. There was probably nothing going on between the two and, yet, I felt the dire need to prove myself. Izaray would love me and Jasninon would not dare try and steal anything that was destined to be mine since I joined Akando. I could feel my mental paw stomp down in determination, eyes focused forward as I rose from my awkward crouch. Gingerly, I felt my way through the land. Occasionally, I sunk ankle deep, but I began to learn the subtle physical signs of the sinkholes’ whereabouts.

[Moon]

Izaray
Papa, can you see me? . . . Where are you now that yesterday has said goodbye?

I felt like I was drowning. In mud.
Disgusting.

Having been out for a while now, my paws were completely black with the wet dirt. I had sought out a rumored sinkhole that had almost swallowed a cub only two sunrises ago and marked the perimeter. Thankfully another lioness had been close by and saved it's idiotic rump. I had often wondered since the incident if it might have been better to let the child die; one less idiot and one less mouth to feed in this overbearing rain. It almost shocked me to think this thought. But not really. Or at all.

The only sadness I felt in the recent days was towards losing Ezhno. The rains had started the moment he died, as though the world weeped for him though I knew so much better. Too many enemies rejoiced in his death. But, Daddy had always been there. Now that he was dead I felt like something was missing half the time. I spent most of my mornings in the exact same spot that he had, watching the pride awaken with his calculating gaze. A dead tree with a flattened space by the roots in his exact shape, much too large for me to fill up. This was what I had left of his presence in the physical world. I hoped Ackecheta would understand my need for my father. Taking over the pride, at barely a year old even, must be hard for him as well.

A sigh, both frustration and need, bubbled out from my maw and slowly turned to a growl. I missed my Ackecheta terribly. This man I ran my pride with had become unfamiliar, his heart had changed and I didn't know him so well anymore. That damned Folami had turned him soft and I hated it. I wanted the dog out, I wanted him dead. I wanted my Ackecheta to see me again. It felt like we hadn't even spoken to each other since the dog had come in. I still loved him - I would never give up on our love - but that didn't mean it was easy to not confront him. With a lash of my tail, I continued to walk, sending a silent prayer to my father, wishing without hope that he would hear. 'Please don't let me ruin our pride.'

As though in answer, a rare breeze wafted a scent I was more at home with than my own. "Ackecheta!" I called, my voice a mixture of excitement and weariness. My pace quickened as I rushed to meet him, hope sparking in my chest that he was still there, that My Ackecheta was only hiding within.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

Her voice carried wearily through the consistant pattering of the drops hitting the water. I twisted my ears backwards, flicking them towards the sound to read it clearer. It came only once, but I felt confident I had managed a valid translation. My dearest called my name, her voice whispering its sweet melody through even the roar of storms. Turning, I squinted past the darkened terrain, catching the golden glow of my sweet princess. Queen. "Izaray." It was said softly as a smile curved my lips, gentle and not meant to carry past the rain.

I was careful in my footholds as I turned to approach the woman, stepping lightly so as not to fall victim to more of Dio's dreadful curses he has laid upon this forsaken land. "Izaray!" It was louder now, tone warm in welcome. The name felt right coming off my tongue, having been denied since that wretched canine. I managed to make it a bound away without incident, eyes focused as my face spoke volumes of joy at the woman's appearance. I took a few more careful steps, craining my kneck to lightly brush my cheek against hers. "What are you doing in this dreaded place?" There was no accusation there, just kind curiousity. I made no notion of being the alpha and Izaray merely my mate. We were a team, each equal to the other. I was no Ezhno

Ah, but maybe this girl wanted me to be. My eyes closed in worry as I nuzzled her with welcoming affection. Maybe she wanted a more aggressive male, a male like Jasninon. The paranoia set in and my muscles tensed. I needed to be more like Ezhno, but it was difficult to leave behind Cheta.

[Moon]

The weariness shrunk inside of me and made way for the excitement and love I felt for this pale male. No matter what either of us became, the undeniable bond we had could never change. I let a soft purr rise in my chest as he nuzzled my face and I returned it with a lick of affection on his cheek. A smile began to form on my lips, seen so rarely now. His question brought back the frustration I had felt earlier, though, and it faltered slightly.

"I went to find and mark the perimeter of the large sinkhole that one of the cubs almost drowned in. The stupid child is lucky there was an adult around. It's lucky I wasn't around," I growled, lashing my tail as I thought, once again, about letting it die to make things easier. Sometimes I wondered if I was too harsh about things like this, but then I realized I don't care. If I went too far, Ackecheta would be there to calm my fire. He was wise in that way, and that would keep us all alive.

I couldn't deny that having one of us with a little less negative emotion towards these subjects was nice. And I knew it couldn't be me, with my temper. I just didn't want to have to be nice to anyone just to avoid some hurt feelings. We needed tough lions in the pride who could take orders without chickening out. And I needed Ackecheta to be the strongest one, along with me.

We were always meant to be the ones that would keep the pride going, ever since we met at three and six moons old. Ever since our first battle together on the day we crossed paths and I decided to keep him as part of our pride. We couldn't continue Akando's legacy with a Folami in camp and Ackecheta's heart softening up.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I welcomed her returned affection with the forfiet of my concern. There was an honest connection between us two, one that Jasninon would never be able to compare to. If not for Izaray, I would have been slain by Ezhno's paw. At 3 and 6 months, she chanced on a lost cub with an ego problem, and I became in her dept until the day I die. There was no mistaking where our loyalties lied. We could both change so much and the emotion would still run deep. A new confidence planted itself in my chest.

I sighed with her words, grumbled some foul remark under the patter of the rain. Downcasting my eyes, I considered what she said. At one point in time, I would have laughed with her and plotted the removal of the weak little cub. Here, as the alpha, I shook away the temptation. "Ah, we can not have such foolishness. Not with the very real threat of Ende still hovering on our borders." The words were a growl, eyes remaining on the mud as I thought out loud. "I do hope whomever saved him gave him a good lashing." I looked at her and rolled my eyes. "Though, unless it were Kaylie, that is doubtful." I groaned. "I hate to say this, but I wish we were still on good terms with Ende. We could use their help in training these cats how to be warriors. You and I were so fortunate to be trained by their Generalleutnant." I butchered the german pronunciation as I groaned the words, but I knew Izaray would not have forgotten our training from Annora.

A thought breezed past my mind, and I barely had time to catch it. "We really should consider renewing our alliance with Ende. Their retreat may have cost us the war for water, but you have to admit they're of favorable status." I tossed the idea outthere, eyes narrowed as I gave Izaray a sideways expression. I hoped I was not being too heavy on this girl. I had to word my thoughts carefully, for some may be considered insulting towards her father. I had decided weeks ago that avoiding mentioned Ezhno at all costs was the very best route.

Of course, one of Ende's felines had attacked Ezhno in the fight. Would Izaray still hold that pride in low reguard? I wouldn't blame her. An alliance with Ende was a tricky dance. There could never be trust, just simply a right to have their skilled warriors train our moronic family. The question was, was Izaray willing to throw away any sense of security, just for some trainers from the Ende fortress?

Was I willing to do so?

[Moon]

His thoughts took me by surprise and touched upon something close to my heart, very close to where Ezhno's memory throbbed. While it was true that Ende had amazing fighters at hand and they could train extremely well, I wasn't sure I could trust them at all. They abandoned us in the battle and then one of their members attacked and killed my father. They obviously didn't have their pride in line and I couldn't see Symphony Bava caring about Ezhno's death at the paws of a former pride member.

I took a step back, breathing in deeply to think more clearly, but I couldn't help the hurt flashing in my gaze as I thought of my father again. I was probably being unreasonable, but this was my father. Sure, it had been one idiot acting on his own, but I couldn't just forget that the felines we were speaking of had shared meals with him.

All the same, I had to contradict myself as I thought about how weak my pride was. The flooding was drowning the prey or chasing it away and catching us all in the mud. If we were to be attacked, there's no telling how badly we would be injured. There would be deaths. My mother was getting old, too, and she would be one of the first one's gone if she wasn't properly nourished. I hated to think it, but I had to have some sort of feelings for her, however grudgingly. And I was sick of being surrounded by cowards and weaklings. If our current batch of cubs in camp had any chance at surviving this rainy season and my rule, they would need to grow up strong. They needed training that only myself and Ackecheta could give in the pride and we were still growing into our adult strength.

We needed help. I hated it, but we did. Besides.. I missed Annora and her bitter personality.

I looked at Ackecheta for a few moments more, evaluating his expression with a cocked brow and thoughtful eyes. "I want rules. Conditions. I don't want them in our territory. Maybe one cat can carry messages, but we would get together in the Central Lands. We're too vulnerable right now to trust them completely. This is all assuming they even want an alliance with us anymore," I added, growling out the words as though they were acid taste in my mouth. Seeking my mate again, I tucked my head under his chin, eyes still narrowed as I thought about our situation.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I nodded at her words, eyes stern as I considered all my mate had to say. I knew where her distrust branched from. Yes, Ende had proved countless times that they were out soley for themselves, but Akando was, too. No, her concern was more personal; Blaze was of Ende and he had killed her father. I held Blaze in low reguard. He had not been much of a threat to a healthy feline, much too foolish to fight with any skill, but Ezhno had passed his prime. Ende was cunning; I did not bunch them and Blaze in one bundle, even if they shared a homebase. Still, they were not to be trusted. My woman's considerations were fair ones.

"Then it is settled. I will set out in the early morning to request the Fuhrer's blessing." I leaned my chin on Izaray's head lightly. My jaw was tense as I considered the risks of going alone. Being the alpha, I owed my pride some confidence; I could not be run by ego as I once had. "Be it your wish, I will take Jasninon on my mission party." I pulled away with this, stomach tight. I held the smallest fear of Jasninon; he was older than I. It worried me that he would try and steal my throne, and more imporantly, my Izaray. But the brute was strong, and I would need strength should Ende be hostile. I eyed Izaray, speaking once more in a hard tone to stop at thoughts that may go against my decision. "You can not be part of the party. We need one sensible ruler to remain here in my absence. Should anything happen to me..." I trailed off, eyes softer as a childish grin crossed my not so childish maw, "Bah, who am I kidding? No one messes with Ackecheta." I winked once to the woman, granting her insight that I was still me.

No Folami would change what was in my heart, just simply what I chose to share.

[Moon]

Ah, Jasninon. I hadn't spoken to him in light of recent events and at this time I wondered what he had been up to. His presence was worrying me because Ackecheta was worried. I pushed that aside; he didn't matter. The pale male beside me did, though, and I could see the familiar man I had grown up with starting to wriggle free. A teasing purr flowed through my body as I playfully crouched, wriggling my haunches as though on a hunt.

"No one, that it, except for me!" I swiped my paw at him, raising the other to cuff his ear lightly. It had been a while since we could just joke around with each other, and all alone out here in our own territory, we could relax if only a little bit.

OOC: Bah. I'm sorry for this fail. >.<

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I watched the childish antics in amusement, trying against all desire to stay mature. My lips twitched with her attack before I spit out a roar of playful surprise. Shortly before the war, Ezhno had requested Annora to train us in the arts of skilled bloodshed. In the training, we had had to sacrifice our childhood. The day that we graduated Annora’s class, Izaray and I had played in this very same fashion. Annora had stormed in and put an end to such foolishness, then granted us her blessing as warriors.

As much as I hated to admit it, being denied childhood had not make me mature faster, or more so than other cats. Rather, all it did was make me hungry for childish games all the more. I had suppressed it for quite some time now, but as Izaray attacked me now, I could not help but fold under the pressure. “Oh no, not Queen Izaray!” I let her paw swipe my ear before throwing myself to the ground as if she had knocked me down. Using my bulging hindlegs, I slid myself around to be behind her, then under her on my back. Wrapping my front limbs around her midsection, I pulled her downwards. If it went as planned, m’lady would bellyflop onto my stomach, her face to mine. “As I said, no one messes with Ackecheta.” I chanced a wink.

[Moon]

With a thump I landed on my Ackecheta's stomach. An odd little flutter in my heart caused it to pick up in speed, content with where I was despite all the mud and rain. I gave him a rough lick from his neck to his eye. My own amber orbs looked down upon my fellow royalty with a twinkle of love. I enjoyed these types of fleeting moments with Ackecheta. It was what made them special to have them so briefly and rarely.

Of course, at this moment of thought as I soaked in the sight of my handsome mate that the chill of the rain seeped through my coat. It was time to go back to the camp for me. Hopefully no one had done anything stupid while both of the leaders were gone. Though I knew I should leave, I stayed put. "I must go," I announced, still motionless.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I made a sound that could resemble a purr as m'lady licked up my neck and face. Then she said she had to go. I pouted playfully, lip puffed out in a rather childish expression. "Do you have to?" It was all an act, the immature way I responded...but there was some truth hidden in the expression. We had gone from soldiers to leaders, and never were allowed to just be. I was beginning to get a little ticked that we never got our childhood. A pricker of anger towards Ezhno settled into my heart. He had taught us to be King and Queen since the day we were born.

We have never been able to truley be the Prince and Princess; all play and no work. Get what you want, when you want it. Everyone thought Izaray and I had had life handed to us on a silver platter, but they were wrong. We were always able to demand, but we had responsibilities since childhood. Not like Tweak or Twister, or Abeni's duo. They could be children. It was their choice whether or not they would be happy. I suppose I had that choice, too, but it didn't stop that restraining feeling from constricting my heart.

I broke my gaze from hers and rolled to gently tossle her off me. Climbing to my feet, I turned my back to her; the Queen. Head held a little too low, I closed my eyes. "Right, responsibilities. King and Queen." The words were said a little too harshly, the bite a bit stinging. But I was tired of pretending I liked what I did. Power was great, but it too often felt that Akando had more power over me than I over it. "For King and Queen, we have an awful lot of boundaries, restrictions, rules, and guidelines."

Maybe I was being a child, but I didn't very well give a damn. It was about time I was allowed to piss and moan like the teenager I truley was.