Forcing The Kings Hand

[I L Y I C H]

"Enough!" Voice roaring across the open expanse I turned to stalk back in my previous direction. My three newer subjects stood before me, their eyes focused on me in vary expressions. Hati's were calculating. I had an ally in the white woman. Kamau looked frightened but contrite. Another ally. Daiade looked angry. I should have known he would not appreciate this. But I was making no allowances for the guardian angels. Not this time. The shuffle of their wings went ignored and the stance of whatever side they took would not be taken into consideration. I had had enough of letting mortals rule the way I acted. Perhaps these three were not mortal any longer but it went without saying that they were young. So very young and they did not understand that sometimes power must be used. I am a god and power was my namesake. Let them disobey me. It would only allow for me to rampage forward and take what I wanted anyway. Blue eyes flashing I turned back to Daiade, the ebony brute who had been arguing against my corse of action.

"Punishing them for being what they are will not allow-" I cut the blind man off with a snarl, knowing I would feel guilty right to my toes later on but too angry at the moment to care. "I do not punish them by removing myself from them." Daiade's silver eyes were hard and the proud muzzle uplifted and tight. In his eyes this was indeed punishment, I supposed. But how was I punishing nonbelievers by removing myself from them? They did not want for my love. I would not be used by them. Just one little slight of hand. Even Dio could not halt this, whether my old friend chad come out of his moping long enough to so much as notice as I went about my preparations. I held the sun in my gut. It was mine to master and mine to give chase to. Were gods not allowed their own fears and rages? Daiade obviously thought not, but then he had always been far too noble for his own good. Kamau had spoken not one way or another. After all the man was so very quiet and nobility was a thing he hadn't possessed for years.

It was Hati who I turned to, who I locked into my stare and who's flint gray eyes stared back. Pride was her poison and she was my only true spoken ally in this argument. The woman agreed from the very start that a show of force was needed. Folami looked to nothing else. My attempts at love and kindness were lost to them and oh how I did so love them. But a parent could be cruel when the fought to protect their children and I was not one to hold still for the blows falling upon me. They did not love me because they did not know me. Did not see the caresses I pressed into their dreams and the heat of the day. So be it. Slamming to a stop I lifted my tail and held the white queen's stare. I would make them see. I would not hold still while they called me a fairy tale and a weakness while all I wished for was their safety. If I was a fairytale then so was the sun and they didn't need either.

Daiade attempted to speak up once more but I was finished with his counsel. With all of their counsels. The time had past for wise words, and a man must act if he wished to be seen. "Daiade. Go to your sister and bring her here." I cut him off sharply, blue eyes digging into the blind face and it's heavy uncertainty. But he was so loyal and despite his distaste he would not defy me. Daiade knew the price folami made for their actions. He would not stop me. Ebony feathers unfolded and the man was gone. Turning aside to the second I frowned heavily. "Kamau go to Bidziil. Do what you must to get the king here." I would have preferred to send Hati but the gray man's face was the trouble. Despite the return of his health and mind Kamau had not removed the violence etched into his body. No need to frighten dear Geoff. Nodding slowly the gray animal took a step back his own newly acquired wings shifting painfully slowly before he too left for a separate realm.

Turning back to the white woman, I frowned thickly. Truly I appreciated her. In the beginning I had been shocked to find the alabaster best in my skies. Mist had cloaked her and even Hati herself had seemed at a loss. As dark and bitter as the girl had been, I came to realize, all that she had done was a desperate attempt to keep her tiny family alive. Her precious devil. Maybe it was the ultimate betrayal that it was her tiny family that had killed her, but Hati had never seemed more then proud of her pups. An odd reaction but then we were all allowed our oddities. "I will go fetch the father from the south" And with that my Hati left and alone I turned back to my pacing. This was a mere allowance. A warning. It would not stop the inevitable but I felt the alphas at least deserved to know why this was happening. Why it was not anyone's fault but my own. And already the guilt began to eat at me before the act had even begun, but I would not back down. I may be a god but that did not stop my mortal flaws, and I had been tossed aside like garbage by those I loved. So be it.

If they did not need my love then I would steal it back.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I had almost prayed before I went so sleep this night. I had almost broken down to more than just internal ramblings. I had wanted to speak outward to a god I wanted to believe in. All my life I had denied him, thought him a mere fairy-tale. Who could blame me? There was no logic to support such a thing. It was arrogant of me to even consider that maybe someone out there really cared for my kind. We were hand-made monsters and, though many of us have broken free, we would never be more than machines. The humans might have their gods, the cats might have their’s, but folami were destined to be alone in the universe. No dog could die and find joy, only darkness. At least that meant I wouldn’t have to go to hell.

And it is with this final dismissal that I had went to bed feeling void of everything except my anger and sorrow. Perhaps this is why Kamau appeared soon after my eyes closed. It was an odd thing for my brain to give me to vent on, but I could not question my feelings towards this man. Ayita had been good to me despite all I had done, and I had come to see her as much my own daughter as Alonda. She had wanted nothing but the best for her brother, nothing more than to be loved by him, and he had denied her that--he had driven her so far that her only option had been to kill him. And now that innocence in her was gone. I had seen what that had done to her--she blamed herself. The girl would let her guilt destroy her, so yes, my brain hated this man and would let me take my frustrations out on him. If I was not allowed a god to love and forgive me, then I would not do so unto others.

Jumping to my paws, I bore my fangs and allowed a snarl to tear past my lips. “It takes a special kind of dog to break an angel, Kamau.” I moved forward but made no move to contact this man. Surely it would all vanish once I did, the mist of my subconscience unable to provide texture so merely dissipating when I reached out to touch it. It was with this I noted the wings and though I was curious I made no move to question. Let my mind do as it pleased, even if it did unnerve me. “I am going to enjoy picking you apart after what you did to my daughter--my dear Ayita.”

Right right, I know I would not get such a joy, but this was my dream and I could say what I wanted.

[I L Y I C H]

Feathers ruffling I stood back away from the man knowing his anger. Bidziil considered my sister a daughter of sorts and I found it incredibly unlikely that he knew of what had led to my death. Blame was placed on my shoulders and as unfair as that was I simply bowed my head in response. My precious Ayita's broken soul was my own fault and that I knew. It was right of Bidziil to place his anger on me, but now was not the time. Skoll was furious and the normally quite god wanted this man before him. I was nothing more then a messenger and a servant for these next few strides. I would allow Bidziil his anger but not in this place. I may be but a guardian but I had more power then my old alpha knew. Plucking at the edges of the ebony king's mind I all but flung us upwards, breaching the edges and I stood silent and merely unbalanced as mist and smoke began to curl about our bodies.

Flesh colored eyes remained placed neatly on Bidziil's own crimson. Guilt lay there and sadness. I knew all too well. "My illness gave me no control ." Best to give him his reasons. "Did you not see me, my old alpha? I was rabid and trapped in a body I did not control." Ears flicking backwards I turned my snout to the ground, closing my eyes. Allow him to do what he would. Bidziil could not kill me here. Not when I could see my God at the edges of my vision frowning so thickly his face seemed to be twisting. But Skoll was staying free of it for now. Awaiting his other two charges and their escorts. The pallid beast would remain hiding in his smoke screen. Waiting. "What I forced Ayita to do was horrible." Voice low I turned slightly aside, turning towards the sounds of wing beats. "But it was a mercy for me."

Sister came without comment, following me when I asked her to. It made little difference. I had expected as much of her. Carska wasn't one to question when I begged her to come. She could see the worry in my eyes, I knew. Even if I could not see my darling sister I knew better then to think she was anything but anxious and determined. We had faced so much together and I now so very regretted having to bring her to face this thing. My own dear Skoll. I did not condone what the man would do now, but I suppose I didn't really have much of a say in it. In anything really. Skoll was the master of the sun and he would do what he wished. But I could not help be feel this was the childish antics of a puppy. Not suited to a man of Skoll's stature but then so much had occurred and even gods could be hurt. Perhaps the man had grown tired and sick in the darkness of his own realm. No matter what Skoll loved us I knew that. But like a parent love was always accompanied be a stream of possessive anger as well.

Sister walked bellow as I flew, enjoying the feeling of wind over my feathers. It was still such an odd feeling and despite the serious tone I held Carska had demanded that I fly. She'd wanted to see. So I had taken to the sky and as mist began to cling to the dirt and the earthen floor fell away to warm stone I watched from above as Carska's silver body half vanished into the swirling forms. Her nose led the way however and my wing beats reverberated too loudly in the quiet. Kamau lifted his tired eyes in greeting as we came forward, or in my case downward. Carska paused slightly, suspicion in her eyes as those tawny orbs bounced from the scarred man to her husband. Paws touching the stone under it's constant layer of fog I pulled my wings back to me, their muscles tingling nicely. Neither of us spoke as I moved to sit beside my fellow guardian, and Carska remained hovering to the side, her tawny eyes cutting with far more tight lipped curiosity then the previous willing calmness.

We were later then the others, it seemed. Geoff had not wanted to follow me. Suspicious as I had ripped him out of his nightmares. I was a stranger to him and thus I had expected as much. The great gray brute was very careful, for his families sake. But there was no family here. Not in the dream world and not in this realm we entered through the swirling smoke. Looking about himself the Ramsey seemed at a loss. Never been here before, not like the others. Cutting silver eyes sideways to the larger folami I frowned. A man lost to his dreams knew only the evil side of them. It was a shame. And it was not our place to tell him that the people he missed were not with us. Not here. I didn't have the heart to lie to him and had thus ignored the questions he breathed upon realizing where he was.

This one wasn't stupid at least.

Geoff was less then happy with me now. Understandable. I wasn't the most likable dog at the best of times. So I remained cold and quiet, flicking my slate hued eyes to Skoll and his glowing eyes in my peripherals before shouldering free of the smoke to the others. Daiade and Bidziil were obvious at first, the ebony of their forms sharp in the swirling white. Carska and Kamau's silver forms only became apparent as we stepped fully forward and I was certain I was but a ghost on this plane. Geoff turned his head slightly, looking towards me in confusion, before turning his stare to Bidziil. Not that he would find his answers there either. His answers would come from the silent body that moved through these clouds.

They were all so old now. Looking upon them from the clouds I could see that. So old and so worn down in time. I remembered all of their births. All of their childhoods and the monstrous things that had turned them into these broken down forms. Yet they were so strong and I felt guilt at the edges of my anger. Yet many choices that must be made ended in guilt. It was well past the time for simple measures. Dio may not approve but I knew all too well that folami do not look to words for guidance. Felines might be as such but a dog followed actions. And this was the grandest action I could think to make. Hati stepped aside, having scented me in the dew as I came forward. Her frame was the smallest in this gathering and I all but dwarfed her. All of them were small to me but as I stopped beside my white spun angel she looked but a rag doll in comparison. Daiade dropped his head as my gaze swung about. Still not agreeing with me but submitting as he had always done. The man would speak and advise but he always lacked the courage to stand up fully and that was his greatest flaw and the cause of his death. A nobel trait perhaps but not in war.

Hati looked aside to me, her granite eyes boring forward. She knew as well as me the truth of our people. Perhaps it was simply the way Daiade and Kamau had always looked up instead of down that they did not see this. Hati had lead with more reality then I had so far. Lead and died by her power yes, but died happy. And we both knew that it took fangs and fire to show love. Blood spilled over it daily and yet so many didn't see it. Love was a messy nasty business and it saddened me that Daiade thought it out not be. For something that could rip you apart so easily, love must be volatile. It was the way of the world and the mother. Kamau understood that at the very least. Love was what had killed and freed him. Electric blue eyes hard and sad in all the same moment I focused on the three who I had called. Two looked so very suspicious. Uncertain of me and not knowing. Not making the connection. Why did they never make the connection? But I was not in the mood for grand introductions. Not now.

"You must understand why I do this thing" My voice sounded off hard and cold, the accent thicker then usual at it's ends. Geoff's ears flicked as the man moved away from Hati and to Bidziil's side. Recognition. Not in me but in the voice. My accent was very similar to his Michael's I supposed. Closing my eyes I looked upwards. Feeling it. Day would come soon and with it flames would lick up the mountains and across the lakes as the sun rose red and real in the sky. For however long it might. For however short a time we went on speaking. Dropping my skull I turned to Daiade ears folded lightly. "Not all my dogs trust me in this I am certain. But it must be done." The ebony man looked away, blind silver eyes turning to stare unfocused in another direction. His sister along side gave him a sharp look before refocusing on me, lips starting to peal back away from her fangs. My eyes focused on her then. Dark and cold but not knowing how else to look. I felt bleak in the shadows. Waiting the sun that would not come for as I would not let it warm my sons and daughters I would not let it warm me either.

Perhaps in the dark the folami would learn how to shine.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I couldn’t help but grunt in surprise at the sudden jolt of being thrown to a different territory. What a strange thing to happen. My gaze narrowed as my crimson orbs slid around the landscape, not recognizing, thus not understanding why my imagination would bring me to such a place. My nightmares had always been in familiar places, the facility usually, but I also frequented the canyons and the pines. This plain of mist was new to me, and I could feel suspicion suddenly begin to bite at the back of my head.

I snapped my attention back to the silver brute as he spoke. He was not reacting with hostility as I expected him to do. My whole recollection of the man was of him as a monster--as rabid, if I am to steal his own description. I felt a prick of shame gnaw into my stomach. I loved Ayita, but how could I blame this dog when he had clearly been out of control? I knew what it was like to have yourself be so far gone you hurt those you love the most. I dropped my aggression as I came to stand on level ground with him--came to understand him. Ayita was scarred, but then so was my wife and children. None of them had been hurt on purpose. We were very similar, this dog and I. I could not hate him without first hating myself.

And I was done doing that.

My nose snapped into the air as a familiar scent hit my glands. Crimson eyes wide in surprise, all the pieces began to come together. My mind would never make Kamau into the victim, I was too selfish to come to that conclusion on my own. This winged canine had to actually be the man in all his clear-headed glory. Now Carska’s scent was here. And Daiade’s. And Hati’s. And...Geoff? Eyes searching, I found myself staring at the wolfish man after only a second’s time. My attention then jumped to Carska. Then to Daiade. My eyes were wide by the time they came to sit on the only stranger here, some white dog that managed to stand a whisker taller than even myself.

By the time Geoff came to stand beside me, the stranger had began to speak. I flicked my tail against the Achievement Hunter’s flank in cautious greeting, but I did not tear my gaze from this orange fanged man. My heart was beating a mile a minute as I took in his vague words, my mind too uneasy to even acknowledge Carska in my typically obsessive way. This dog...could it be? No, I had dismissed him as I layed my head down this very evening. I had buried the desires. My brain was simply playing off what had been my final thoughts before drifting into sleep. That didn’t explain everything else, though. “The Fire-Breather...” merely a breath sliding past my lips, I took a child’s step towards him. It was only then that his words fully settled in.

Narrowing my eyes in suspicion, I swallowed back all the questions, all the apologies. I looked briefly towards Daiade, before letting my suspicion shift to anger. “Daiade, what is he talking about? What must be done?” I knew this was Skoll now, and the fear in my stomach erupted in several different directions. It pushed at guilt for all the times I had denied the god, and for all the times I had verbally abused Logan and Jeremiah for preaching His name. Fear of punishment because what if this is not a god that forgives? Fear that I would not be good enough. But my biggest fear, I realized as I kept my face hard-set on Daiade, is that this god would not be the man everyone had said he was.

What if Skoll could not give me the hope I needed?

[I L Y I C H]

Carska had moved to her beloved's other side, and now the living faced us and our sad faces. Together. It was symbolic in some way but I was too tired to laugh at that now. Dead weary. Daiade focused as best as he could on Bidziil when the man spoke, the blind brute shuffling uncertainly against the ground. I didn't even have the heart to correct the dark king on my name. I had so many. Alas Bee was the only one who ever spoke my true name. Head tilting slightly to the side I cut my eyes away from the three folami alphas to their escorts. Kamau's ruined face was turned into some semblance of anxiety. Daiade just looked guilty, but then I expected nothing more then that. Those two didn't agree with my decisions. Didn't think this was anyway to show love. I supposed they simply didn't understand the point. I didn't care if they knew I loved because I knew I did. But I was finished with being called a fairytale. Maybe it was selfish is cruel of me but the world would know of me this day.

I would not be told I did not exist by half the thoughts in the world.

Ears turning I looked to Daiade but it was not the ebony guardian who spoke. Hati's voice rang clear and even from my right and I twisted to look curiously down to the dead alphess. "The sun resides in his belly." She said it as she said everything. As if there was a tale behind it. Alabaster snout ducked slightly and body all but invisible Hati smiled back at Geoff when the wisest of the alphas let out a gruff snarl. The man knew full well what was going on. He knew his stories having not been constrained by the pack's manor of repression. "The sun warms your backs in devotion, but how is any man mortal or not to feel as if his gifts are worth the hate the world holds?" Carska was the one who made the connection, as Geoff frowned heavily from their shared friend's other side. Tawny eyes flared before turning to lock on me, the mild awe that had begun to ease forward replaced instantly by sheer horror.

"You mean to take the sun?"

I looked back into that shock, and felt the guilt and pain pour over into my expression. "Know that I don't do this lightly. It is no punishment. It is an attempt for a treaty." In the dark souls shined like lanterns on earth. We could see them all up here shining from the edges. Turning sharply at the thought I flagged my tail. The other three stood uncertainly , following. At risk of being left alone in the mist Geoff followed after, Carska close behind after the woman had given Bidziil an almost there nudge to one shoulder. Perhaps showing them was what they needed. To the east across the swirling mists and warmth was the barren cold. The rift in my world. Many did not notice the comfortable heat in the air until the part in the stone became apparent. Until the cold of open air rushed up through that gaping canyon to brush through their furs.

So far bellow I could see them all. Feel all of their thoughts compounded and brushing against my person. Whispers and needs and desperations that caught and held onto me. Passions. Beautiful things only birthed in the dark. The others joined me slowly, the guardians uncertain as ever of this place. It had always been mine. Something they all seemed too fearful to tread near. As if the heaviness of my scent on the edge of the world was some denial of their right to be there. Never. I would never keep anyone away from this wonder. Geoff was uncertain. I could taste it in the air and feel it pressing against my form. To this man I was unknown. His dealings with me were few and those that did exist had been wailed prayers that had gone unanswered. Things I could not give him for I did not control them. Nor was it my place to tell him of their living wanderings. Time would answer his prayers not some old tired sun bearer.

It was Carska in all her aggressive curiosity that finally broke away from her Bidziil and the brother at her left to approach. To lean awkwardly forward on her paws to my far right not wanting to touch even the air surrounding me. That didn't stop the sharp intake of air as the gray woman leaned her snout out over nothing and looked down. For the first time in the dark of night a smile pulled up on my maw. The awe had returned to those wide golden eyes. The child like brilliance that I so loved in my people. "Do you see them sweet sister? Do you see how the light up the night?" Dark ears tipped back towards me but she didn't seem to be able to rip her eyes away. The leader of that glroious family to the south came forward then, perching just beside Carska to look. Too curious to hold back when what he saw as a gruff serious woman broke into a low awed chuckle as if she simply couldn't contain herself.

Tail flicking behind me I closed my eyes and drew in their brilliance. Their swirling emotions as those things whispered out of fear and into innocence. "Are those people?" Geoff spoke up finally, his high octave voice rippling. Opening electric blue eyes I sat down in the cloud bas, leaning forward on my heavy limbs to look down as well. Light all but glowed up form the surface of their world. Light in the dark. Souls brilliant to the extreme in so many different hues one could scarcely even begin to name them all. Beauty at it's depths. In the dark mortals showed who they truly were. "What did you think the stars to be but your own reflections?"

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I followed at Carska’s flank but I did not share in her confident ways. My ears were set back and my steps heavy against land that felt too smooth to really be true. Mist pushed away from me with my every exhale, and fought its way even with every inhale. It was slow, the in and outs of the white wisps, my breathing barely even so. I was scared and I was angry. This was who I was, afterall--a man so caught up in the negative emotions that the good ones felt wrong. Geoff was uneasy and I wished that was all that set into my heart, but it wasn’t. I had searched for this god for some time now, wanted to believe in him, and though he was speaking with gentle kindness now, the implications of what he was about to do allowed me to find hate for him in the heart that so wanted to love him. We were not his play things. If he did this terrible thing, dogs would follow him out of fear. I did not want a god who would rule with that power.

I had used that as my throne for far too long to respect it.

I closed my eyes and sat, not following my wife to the canyon’s edge. Let them feel their awe, but I would not partake. Jealousy began to set deeper into my heart, biting at the most vulnerable bits. They could go to their homes and warn their families and they would believe them and trust them to guide them through. I would even venture so far as to say many of Vea Apxn and the Achievement Hunters would come to love, or at least know Skoll through this taking of the sun. But what of me? If I woke in the morning and said a word of this, I would be attacked, taken down, locked away. No dog in my pack would believe me. Even as it happens they would all just pretend them weren’t scared, and simply blame me for not being able to protect them. Meanwhile I would have to watch them all cry in their silent terror but be able to do nothing to help them because I wasn’t supposed to care. I wasn’t supposed to love them.

“For how long will you do this, dog?” I was behind the dogs now, sitting slouched away from the edge. The words fell low from my lips, curved in venom. I had wanted so badly to find a god that I could lovingly proclaim, that I could use as a shield as I fought to love my family. I hated myself for being so surprised. Folami were created to be monsters, so why should our gods be any different? He had been mortal once, so the bred qualities of selfishness and hate would still be in his heart. I was a fool to think there was hope for my kind. If I was to love them and protect them, it could not be in the name of a god. “Because it sure as hell doesn’t matter. No member of my--” I paused a bit back the word. They were not my pack. I knew that deep in my heart I was only at home in Vea Apxn. “the human’s pack will ever know you. So how long are you going to make me watch them walk in a fear they aren’t allowed have? How long do you plan to punish me with knowing I cannot help them because they would never let me?” The anger fell away from my tone as I carried on. All that left me with was fear.

I was scared of failing again after trying so hard.

[I L Y I C H]

I looked to the man, my smile dropping back into it's frown. So common place these days. A horrible thing truly but I could do nothing to stop it. I felt as if I had been removed from myself. For I was a dog and I knew this to be fact. Folami was my heritage and I had been the birth place for all of them. This man was my brother and my son. My being on earth as they all were. Children I had failed and left alone in the burning of the heat for too long and it was time they learned how to see in the dark. "Until they see. Our kind are blinder then Daiade ever was and they must learn." Not for me. Never for me. I may be a god but I was not a commandment. I would not force them to look to me. For all those hounds down bellow this could be just a simple eclipse. A long one mind but an eclipse. A vanishing act that would end soon enough if they were patient.

"But they are your pack Bidziil. They are your brothers and sisters and many of them know no better then what they are. No one has shown them better." So many innocent souls lost to confusion. Tormented by their childhoods and devotions to their human gods who would sooner kill them all then allow them any faction of kindness. Tilting one ear back I blinked slowly at the crimson eyed beast. "Me? This has little to do with my belief system and so much more to do with theirs." Standing I took that step into empty air and remained there, the mist following after my steps and mine alone to allow me this motion. "Look down and tell me what you see." Circling slowly I made my way slightly to the left, watching as the guardians rose as if to follow me. Turning back before they could I came to pause before Bidziil and bore into his eyes with my own.

"Do you see darkness? Perhaps in the middle. Surrounding them all but not within them. A dogs dreams come to life in the dark." It was Hati who dropped off the edge of the world first, wings only just catching her as she dropped bellow the rim. I could see her as she circled, the whiteness of her pelt suddenly bright against the black-indigo sky. "You can not help them if they wont allow it. They must learn to see on their own." Eyes sliding away from Bidziil and back downwards to the whisper of alabaster feathers I smiled lightly. "My friends can manifest for you if you wish. Hati can easily go home with you. If you'd like" Hati was the ultimate surprise. A shock to my realm as I had never known her. Not seen her as I should have in the darkness. Such a time that had been. Yet here the supposed devil woman flew, her wings stretched clear across the air and that look of ever present quite joy. I had missed so much in not seeing them all. So focused on the darkness between them to be able to truly look to those bright lights.

The other two alphas remained silent, neither moving too focused on their world so far bellow their feet. Carska's eyes were pinned to her old nemesis back. No doubt the gray woman had missed the light in Hati's eyes as well. Rethinking. Perhaps if I could move the stubbornness of grudges deep in that world weary woman I had a chance at moving her lover as well. Just a chance. Looking away from my soft expression for the rebel alpha I refocused on Bidziil. Maybe to this man I was spouting fantasies. Big words that didn't really work on earth, but it burned in my soul as anger fell away to conviction. "I am the sun, my dear old friend. I leave burns on the backs of men in my attempts to make them see, yet I block out their light." Shaking my head lightly, I turned my soft face towards the ground, my love turning my muscles loose as I relaxed into the mist holding my paws a lift. "The world does not need me. They need themselves and they need you to teach them how."

"You think man controls your people but you are wrong. I can hear them whisper every night Bidziil. I feel them as they feel. Man is not their alpha. Not any more." Nimrod alone seemed to huddle in his fear for man. The others did as they were instructed for they knew not what else to do. Fear was motivation, but so many things burned so much brighter then terror. "You are right to fear the dark, but then courage is only birthed in the face of fear is it not?"

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I couldn’t help but give the man his due. He seemed to care about his brothers. This did not mean I respected his decision here, nor did it ease the fear burning in my throat. He could speak his persuasive tongue however much he wanted, weaving magic with his words. But I did not trust him. I did not love him. I found myself appreciating what he had done in the past, and respecting him to a degree, but I did not serve him. It occurred to me that perhaps some dogs are just better off following their own initiative. Maybe it was better if I just approached things on my own. Skoll could go and help those dogs who needed to believe in something. I would pave my own way, even if that meant I had to find a way to hurdle over obsticles he laid in my path.

I obeyed after a moment’s hesitation, my anger having been put to words and released now. He was right, I saw darkness. I saw the world as a forbidding place, something evil and cruel. Time had proven that everyone has a bad side, but not everyone has good in them. Nimrod came to mind and I scolded myself internally for the thought. The man was a puppet who refused to break his strings, but I saw how he was with Rickalaru. Perhaps he would throw her under the bus if the humans gave their call, but he was proving each day that he did have a gentle side. Maybe no one is completely evil after all.

My attention averted to Hati and I couldn’t help but let a little anger prick into my gut. The woman and her husband had hurt Carska and my children--had forced the pack to take sides and split apart while remaining one. It was I who made it actually separate into two different packs all together. The anger faded as quickly as it had sprouted. I was no better than the worst of my people, so I had no right to hate. “I will walk alone.” I dragged my dead eyes back to the ivory god, locking myself behind the stone-masks that could block out the world. Ah, but Skoll was not of the world. He would hear how afraid I still was, see how broken the thought of not being in control made me.

I almost let myself crumble, but I kept the mask forward and merely let my eyes drop to show how deep his question cut me. I doubt he had meant it to, but I couldn’t help but allow my self-loathing leak back into every cell in my body. “I have never reacted to fear with courage before, why would I start now?” I hissed it between clenched teeth, backing up several steps to put distance between me and all the dead and living dogs. I thought I was done hating myself, but it seems as if the loathing would never leave. After what I had done to my family, I could never see myself feeling comfortable in my own skin ever again. “Clearly nothing we say is going to change anything, so if you don’t mind I would like to go back to my nest. Thanks for the warning, but it is time I go home and wake up thinking it nothing more than another nightmare. I have children to take care of, and the problems they will face are more concerning to me than the games you want to play.” My tone was stronger at the end, having found strength in remembering Tamriel and her children. They needed me. I could still be someone’s hero.

Maybe I couldn’t save my pack from the fear of Skoll’s message, but I could at least keep my daughter’s children safe from the world.

[I L Y I C H]

The man hadn't changed much in the time I had not seen him. Stubborn as a fool with a head twice as thick. Skoll looked to him quietly but did not speak. You couldn't change a kings mind when he pulled his crown about his ears. I should know that at the very least. The fire breather let out a low gruff laugh, and for a moment I thought truly that the beast was making fun of the black alpha but Skoll merely leaned away with a pained look on his face. "Games they are." His voice was soft and that alone felt wrong but I could not speak up against it. They were not my emotions. Ivory paws touched stone alongside Carska, the woman having turned suspicious as her awe at the souls whisked away in the face of paranoia. We had always been more alike then I'd cared to notice. Mostly because I knew dead center as much as it hurt that this woman had always been so much stronger then me. She'd protected her family in the end after all. Offering her a meek smile uncertain of what else to do I shifted away as she had, both of our lips curled uncomfortably.

Alabaster wings tucked closed I was well prepared to take the gray brute home, and I stepped towards him in showing. My God's head came up before I could speak, cutting me off and pinning my wings all that more closely to my sides. "Kamau can you take Geoff back? Daiade return your sister to her bed." Blue eyes cut across me as I let out a small irritable sigh and turned my head just enough to focus silver eyes on the ebony beast who had been nothing but a bane to my very existence for so long. Not that I had much of a right to dislike him and his anger towards me. Had I not destroyed his family trying to defend mine? "A damnable offense" Muttering under my breath I turned fully, face rueful and mildly annoyed as I heard the other two leave with their charges, wings a flutter. Skoll sunk away as I moved forward to walk past my own beast to escort home. At least I could see my Lucifer again. If only for an instant. But Gods had a funny way of being so very cruel.

"Do not linger Hati. It will not save him" Hate spasmed across my face. Hate and defiance and oh gods I wanted to defy him so badly but I knew I could not. Skoll was right in that regard. I could not protect my husband any longer. He was not mine to touch any longer. Nor mine to coddle and appease. As the days grew shorter with rain so did the red backed beast's sanity. What was left of my brother was hidden deep within the folds of his fury. Lost. Was that what I would have become had he been the one to fall beneath our spawn's fangs? Perhaps. Most likely. Shutting my eyes for a moment to contain the pain that had flared up I shook myself out hard before sweeping past Bidziil. Regal. I had died a queen. I would not let this stone cold master see me hurt. The mantra of my life demanded I show nothing but what was expected. Even in death I could not halt the self-protection.

"Come on then" I snapped, falling into the facade I knew this man expected of me. I was the bitch who had torn his family in two. I was the monster who had always half expected man to love me just a bit. How dare the ice queen expect even an iote of love. It was too much to ask. A galling prospect. Snorting at my own jokes I marched shortly away, tail high. I had flown for myself earlier, but I despised flying for others. That aside I found it hard to believe even Bidziil's cunning eyes could find me in the sky with Skoll's emotions building the mist as strong as it was. "Lets get you back to your fucking nest so you can wake up and see your people in the morning shall we?"

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[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

With the dying fury, empathy had set in. As Hati was assigned to return me to my own world, I couldn't help but try and vain to follow her movements through the mist with sad ruby hues. My pace was quick, as I was eager to return home, but I did not wish to walk in silence. Her own tone was a bit harsh, as could be expected. I had only known the darker side of this woman, but in the end that evil had killed her and now she was being given a new life. I saw her fly care-free and happy a short while earlier. This was not the same Hati that had marched onto the battle-field. She had fought as a monster, but died into a Queen.

"I think Kadan might regret killing you. He asks about Lucifer every time I go to see Vea Apxn. I mentioned you once, but he avoided the subject. I think he might think you’d be upset with him.” Perhaps it wouldn’t be the most appropriate thing to bring up, but it was a clean connection the two of us had. Her daughter had disappeared, rumored to have stayed true to her name, and her husband and I were not on speaking terms. Kadan demanded my attention every time he saw me, asking a million questions I had to makeup answers to. I didn’t have the heart to tell him his father likely hated him for killing Hati, or that his father was slightly insane. The kid was far from innocent, but he had the best intentions with everything he did. Taking his upbringing into consideration, I think he turned out to be a good kid--sickly and sometimes a bit hislead, but a loyal heart.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, not wholly expecting Hati to even respond to me. She had every reason not to--I was the enemy that destroyed her family simply because the humans said I had to. Perhaps I was growing a bit too soft with age, but the thought hurt me physically. I was a strong dog physically, but the years had made my heart weak. I could not stand the thought of someone hating me, especially if that someone had a justifiable reason. “I’m sorry for ruining your life, Hati.” It was at that moment my vision evaporated and I felt the moist air of my den. The dry branches piled under my chest poked into my fur but I refused to open my eyes and move a muscle. The dream was gone, but I prayed to Skoll Hati had heard my genuine apology before I faded.

Skoll owed me that much, I just hope Hati could find it in herself to forgive me.

[I L Y I C H]

I looked back at the man in surprise, having expected him to stay silent. Least of all on such a subject. Hackles lifted for a moment before I let them drop a sigh following them on their way down. My son had no reason to regret what he had done. "I was horrible to them Bidziil. He's no reason to feel any guilt." Lord above knew I would have killed my adoptive mother if I could have. So much abuse had stemmed from the woman. So much hate. Fed to her by man and I guess it was funny that in the end man continued to burn me despite my immortality towards them now. Alabaster shoulders shrugged deftly and I said the words before I thought them out and nearly gagged on the sob I hid away at the end of it. I wouldn't admit to this ebony bastard that I missed my poor babies. That I watch my Cult and her Bokor with worry and pride. That I followed Kadan's training with a sharp eye ready to rain hell upon Newsoul should she do a single wrong to my boy. "Mom's proud of her kids." They weren't kids anymore. Not truly.

I had forced them to kill me and even with the heat of their blood up those two had known. They had suffered for it, but oh I was proud of my babies. So much like their father. Too much for me to not see him in the way they stood and the way they spoke. It hurt my soul. I couldn't speak with any of them now. Folami saw only what they wished to see and it was so painful to think that I couldn't even breathe words to them. Not ever again. Or at least not until they died their own deaths and as selfish a woman I was I couldn't wish such a thing closer. My pups would grow up and grow strong. I knew what the future held for them, and it burned that much deeper but it was their path. The one they would build for themselves. Paws on soft ground I looked over my shoulder at the guilty voice. Watched in bitter silence. "You've got it backwards."

Of course he would choose that instant to wake. Blackness surrounded me as the dreamscape fell into nothing. Heaving a sigh at the icy feeling in my toes I flicked carefully out of the layer. Out of Bidziil's mind and into the present reality that those crimson orbs focused on. Dear Skoll it was more cramped in here then I remembered. Haunching in on myself while fighting to avoid touching Bidziil I scuttled awkwardly out of the den. Fuck I'd hoped I could pop in and pop out and have him simply not notice but with the dirt and bedding loud under my paws as I slipped out I found that a distinct impossibility. One thing. Just one quick thing, and Skoll couldn't judge me for this. I just wanted one last look. One last touch before my precious fell away from me forever. His mind lost.

I strode rapidly to the far side of the clearing, looking down at the haphazard power that was Lucifer. Gray eyes staring I very slowly let myself down to my belly, face pulling into the pained expression of a lover saying goodbye. This was what this was. A finally sentence. I could not save this man. No one could. Despite this being my fault. Lucifer look peaceful when he slept, and it was the only time he did. The red guard hairs lay flat against his shoulders for once, finally a colouration instead of a mohawk. Paws whispering against his own I smiled bleakly at the boy. How old was he now? I could still remember when he had the pot belly of a pup. "Sometimes I wish i'd never been born so I did not put you through this my love." Voice soft I offered the sleeping soul my words, knowing he wouldn't remember any of them.

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