Carry On. [bhu]

[I L Y I C H]

Paws landing heavily I cast a half glance towards the black king before me. We had agreed to travel together for the sake of hunting for our mates. That would be the extent of our relationship here, it would seem. I couldn't very well hold a grudge over it though, I had attacked this man's little pet. As it had accepted my words of apology I had thought little of the matter, but then I had always lacked the ability to see people for what they were. I was not a very observant man in those ways. Bidziil had worked himself into a labyrinth and I had not navigated his tests well. This man was not what I had seen or assumed, but then many of them were not. So upset over his Fido. It had taken most of the morning to bring down the heavy antlered buck we stood before now, and I had remained in almost complete silence the entire time. I was not forgiven by the protector it would seem, so I had kept my jaws closed. It was after all, Bidziil's camp that I had invaded in a rage filled haze not two weeks prior.

And his butler that I had ravaged months prior.

So I had all but kept to myself, only speaking up when needed for the beast's coordination. Poor company I made surely, but not foul company. Not this time. I'd made my mistakes however, and despite my pride I'd begun to itch in my skin. Judgement was not an auditory emotion. I could not hear it or smell it wafting off Bidziil's skin, but it was there. I could feel it in the very follicles of my pelt. So much had occurred that this brute knew nothing of. All he had seen was the wreckage of aftermath. Though it was quiet possible that Ellipses had spit every tarnished secret right out onto the dirty ground. Trying to protect himself as cowards would. It drove splinters into my skin to think the traitor had been so willing to die. Perhaps it made me a monster but I couldn't hold back the regret at having not simply killed him.

Drawing my tongue through the thick stickiness of blood coating my lips I cast another slightly longer look towards my old warden. The queen was at home heavily pregnant and far sicker then she had any right to be. Had I not provided Ayita with as much herbal training as I could I would not have left camp at all. Carska barely had the strength to pick herself up to get water, let alone give birth without a medic. With Clarimonde gone I had only my own wife who had our children to look after as well, and the other herbalist wasn't well trained at all. Dear Midge tried so hard, and Ayita and Logan worked with her consistently but such knowledge could only go so far in such short time. My worries were eating holes into my stomach. But it was necessary for us to find food. Necessary for children born and unborn and their mothers. It still made me almost violently ill to be farther away then necessary at this point in my leader's pregnancy.

Carska wasn't a young woman any longer. Fido was back home hovering anxiously by her side, as I would assume Ayita and half the camp was. it didn't make me feel any more comfortable. Perhaps it was arrogance but my mind teetered painfully towards myself being the best trained. I so loathed the idea of something happening while I was not present. Maybe it was pride but it coated my brain and told me I was the best hope if the worst came to pass. Yet here I was stood over an elk carcass waiting for the ebony lord to grip his end. Anxious. Yet my mind traveled slowly back towards Fido as I nudged the hoofed creature into a position where we could both lift it up. Pale blue eyes narrowed slightly at the circulation of thought. "I am sorry, you know. For loosing my temper on... those two." It came out low, my voice a grumbled noise in the light brush of wind. But it was there. Now all I truly wanted was to return to camp and my duties there.

I'd said my words. I was finished now.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

The man was so very close, I could hear his breathing. I had been about to go out alone and bring down a doe or perhaps nab a human’s cow for my mistress when the brute came and suggested we go off together. I couldn't right well deny him--Ayita had all but glued her and her children to my wife in the woman’s pregnancy. They would be comforted with sharing a meal, and Paradox was willing to help me provide for them both. I held a grudging respect for him due to his love for my ‘daughter’. It was clear whatever illness had infected his heart was past, and the world he lived in revolved solely around the scarlet angel and those four he had brought into this world with her. It had been a traumatic pregnancy, Ayita violent and full of rage, or so I had heard grumbled past Logan’s lips. But it had melted away as soon as the woman had finished, her thoughts and emotions too wrapped up around the new life to care that she had cursed the very souls around her. One of them was named in honor of her late brother. My thoughts traveled to Daiade Jr, and then to my request of the name Irwin. Were parents asking too much when they name their children after idols and loved ones? I flicked my ears back to draw my attention to the present. This was no time to become entangled in my own thoughts. Paradox and I had brought down a rather large buck, and it had taken us far too long to do so.

Carska was heavily pregnant and dangerously weak. I had to get home.

I maneuvered around the beast and bent over to pick up the end assigned to me. I was nothing more than a regular member in Vea Apxn. There was no Alpha, only Carska and her beta’s to lead. Paradox and I held equal rank--he may even be my superior. Ah, but that was my training speaking--Vea Apxn did not have superiors and inferiors. This was a family, there were only teachers and pupils. My ruby gaze turned to the man as I heard her jaws part so as to speak in his low, quiet tones. I simply eyed him guardedly a moment before shaking away my judgments. I did not hold him responsible for the invasion into my camp. A brother had killed his friend for nothing more than greed, and now Paradox feared for Ayita. I can understand how violent love can make you. It was what he did to an innocent bystander, the simple messenger, that made me so cold towards this man. Ellipses had not known Paradox would attack someone who didn’t even know what the words meant, or so he claimed. Innocent until proven guilty, though, so I could hold no fire towards the golden chest man. Paradox, however, had received the brunt of my anger. Fido saw itself as my butler, but I saw it as my child. It was only the justification of uncontrollable emotions on Paradox’s part, and the fact that Fido had not been killed, that had allowed me to simply keep my distance from this man I had wanted to get to know for Ayita’s sake. But here he apologized, an admission of guilt, even if only to the smallest degree. Fine then, Fido forgave so shouldn’t I?

“Love is the most dangerous emotion. Your brother’s betrayal was something your heart could not understand because you loved him. Love, in all its bitter forms, makes a man do terrible things.” That was all I gave the man before grabbing a hold on my own section of elk. The woman were hungry.

And I needed to get back to Carska.

[I L Y I C H]

Fido had run up to me in a panic, the way it moved keeping it from going as fast as it obviously wanted to. Poor thing looked like it was about to fall into pieces trying to catch up with my patrol speed. It had all been rather worrying at the start, I'd just left camp and here came Father's advisor rushing like it was about to die. Or mother was about to die. Everyone was doing what they could but they needed Paradox and Bidziil back home immediately. Panic was deeply settled in me now. Skoll only knew how bad off mother was. She'd had such a rough pregnancy, and it was in sheer terror that I rushed in the direction of the hunting party's paw prints.

My brain idled for a moment on the idea that I could follow their paw prints again, finally, after so long under constant rain. It didn't last very long. Panic. Panic caught up and built up and turned my chest to fire and razor wire. Ayita hadn't been in camp when her puppies came. I didn't know shit about what was going on, and it drove me utterly mad. In all actuality I would have very much preferred to hide beside my mother while she fought her way through labor, but Fido had begged me to go get my dad and it was only just after that that I realized our lead medic was with Bidziil.

Skoll dammit didn't we all just have utterly wonderful timing? Just fucking beautiful wasn't it? Paws landing as rapidly as I could force them I rushed across the humid plains, hurtling into the scrub land's sandy floor and pressing my claws in for balance. It would all be going so much faster if the bastards had told someone where they were going. What they were hunting. I understood opportunity but my god was it really difficult to just stop and point your nose in a direction and tell a dog where the hell you were going? Apparently it was exceedingly difficult.

In the end I doubted it took me much longer then fifteen minutes to find the shadows in the haze of too bright sunlight, but those fifteen minutes felt like far too much time. I was in a panic as I slowed to a jog, mouth hanging open with the force of the pants heaving out of me. Black back radiating heat I stood and shuddered for a long moment, feeling Paradox's sharp blue eyes on me. There was no question from the medic, and there serious expression he always held when away from Ayita thickened to bitter worry as he slid past me. Mother was right when she called the medic a snake, he moved like a shadow even over the sand. I'd not noticed it before, having little reason to stare after the lean man for very long in the past.

Ocher eyes snapping back to Bidziil, I made rapid motions after Paradox, not being able to make many words come together in the general word vomit that began to sputter out of me. Rapid; to pace with my heart beat. Bidziil wasn't an idiot, he would know within seconds I was sure. I smelt of heat and panic and there was little to cause such a thing now in these lands but my mother's distress. Unable to articulate what I was trying to say I gave up, gave one last massive heave of breath and turned back after Paradox who had picked up speed and was now shouldering his way through the haze of late afternoon heat to move back to camp as fast as possible. My eyes skipped across their kill and I gave up once again, seating myself painfully, sides still heaving.

"Go with him. I'll bring this in."

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

The scent of the man was clear--something was wrong and since I heard no howls of war I knew it wasn’t my pack or felines or humans leading a raid on Vea Apxn. That left very few options, and since this was Mahal I could only assume Carska was in labor. Paradox slithered away before even a word could be exchanged. My paws itched to follow after him, but my son was still here, panting and scared. As concerned as I was for Carska, I was not about to leave Mahal alone with his imagination.

The thoughts that develop through fear can destroy a man. I know.

“No, come on. You should be there for her, too. We can come get this later--it was for your mother and Ayita anyway, and neither will want it now. If some other predator claims it, good for them. We can hunt again.” I moved towards him and brushed my snout along his cheek before breaking into a run towards camp. Paradox and I had not had to go far. Elk were not easily intimidated and they knew we kept the numbers of other predators low so they tended to stay a bit too close to camp. It was only about a mile or so before I started hearing Ayita’s monotone voice trying to reassure her own children. Breaking into camp, I could see Kamautu awkwardly shifting after her every time she stepped away to be closer to Carska.

My breath caught in my throat as I skidded to a stop by Carska’s side. I knew I should give her space and just let the herbalists and medics work their magic, but my heart was beating too fast and my imagination was running away with me. I pushed a cool nose into her cheek and squeezed my eyes shut. I did not get a chance to say a word, however, before Midge placed a paw on my own and demanded my attention. Turning ruby eyes on the woman anxiously, I pulled away from Carska and provided Midge with my focus. “Bidziil, could you maybe keep Ayita’s children busy?” Her tone was gentle, understanding, but there was a firmness behind it that made me know I was doing more harm than good taking up space around my wife. Babysitting would allow me a distraction, but also permit me to be within sight and hearing of the birthing.

I nodded weakly before pulling one gentle lick over my wife’s feverish forehead. Bidziil the babysitter--I never saw that coming. I approached Ayita’s frantic form as she moved between children and patient. “Allow me.” My tone was quiet, uneasy, perhaps even a little ill. The woman blinked apprehensively for a moment before dipping her head in gratitude and devoting her full attention to Carska’s quivering form. I corralled the puppies closer together and folded my body to lay protectively around them. Kamautu quickly pulled closer to my stomach, eager for the warmth.

Blood eyes flicking to the scene, I saw Logan push back into camp with nostril’s flared as he breathed through his nose. He dropped several small seeds by Carska. Ayita glanced towards me, knowing my skeptical nature when it came to things I did not know. “I sent Logan to fetch Carska some poppy seeds. It helps numb the pain. Relax, Carska is in good hands here.” I laid my head down and stared, soft whines pushing past my lips.

My Carska...my children.

[I L Y I C H]

Father denied my attempts at helping and I for once was utterly relived to be free to run back to camp at his side. Too much was occurring and my imagination was spiraling into black waters even now. It didn't take long with out twin bodies rushing that swift mile to camp. Paradox was before us the entire way, only breaking off to fall behind when he lashed sideways to rip the stems off of some scrubby gray plant. In short order two more panicky men stood awkwardly about in the general chaos that I would assume erupted the second mother collapsed. Fido had told me all the details when it had sent me off. Carska had looked ill all morning but that was normal for her. The lethargy was what worried me, and the fact that she had fallen into body spasms shortly after collapsing.

Too many details. Too much that could go wrong with the body. So many tiny cogs working together. Take one little cog and shift it the wrong way and it could be lethal, and I looked at my mother feverish shuddering body and felt ice cold terror lock into my very bones. Paradox shouldered past me, less kind the Midge had been to father. All but forcing me away though he was thinner then me. Taking his notice I went back to Bidziil's side, unable to do anything but stand and shift from paw to paw in anxious fear. Ayita's children had gone from their mother to this new warmth, it seemed. All but the brown and cream girl, Astrid. The blind girl had shifted away and remained seemingly unconcerned with the vanishing warmth of her mother. It was warm enough I supposed, and the girl never really seemed one for physical contact. She was a yeller.

The children had distracted me for less then an instant however, and the dual whines pressing past my parent's lips slapped me back into awareness. No escaping the current situation. Mother gave a heavy shudder and only half flicked one ear towards Logan and Paradox both when they dropped their respective bundles. It wouldn't surprise me if she couldn't eat them. As horrifying a thought as that was. I don't think I'd ever seen my mother with so much as a chest cold. Yet here she lay, sides heaving and jaws parted in a long inaudible whine. The line of stark agony keeping her spine stiff sent chills down my own. Dear Skoll don't let this be a horrible thing. This was life. These were my brothers and sisters. Don't let this be an evil dark day. Who's damn idea what is at the start of time to make labor the most painful revolting thing on earth?

Paradox settled one careful paw against mother's lower abdomen, pale eyes narrowing and flicking slightly to Ayita. A quiet question. I wasn't able to decern it, gods only knew what was going through the black faced man's mind. That paw moved just under mother's elbow next, pressing harder then it had before. Eliciting a grunt out of Carska that made me rock forward on my heels. "Not in shock then. Thats good at least. Only lick up two of those Carska. Numbing yourself completely is a bad idea." Those eyes jumped back to Ayita, once again looking for what I would now assume to be agreement. It sounded right, I mean. I didn't know shit about healing, but numbing something you had to push on didn't seem like a very brilliant idea.

Mother managed to raise her head enough to snarl violently at the medic, though, and I found some comfort in that at least. Of course she dropped her granite snout back to the dirt just as swiftly but if she'd found the energy to be angry with him for assuming she would be stupid about this then she had the energy to make it through. Panic ebbing slightly I settled back onto my haunches, pressing my hip against my father's shoulder. Seeking comfort for us both. That whine was unnerving the shit out of me.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

Mahal beside me brought a sense of comfort, as did the children curling up against my stomach, but it wasn’t enough to stop the whines that forced themselves past my lips. I could only watch helplessly as Midge and Logan took orders from their trainers to the best of their ability. I trusted Ayita and Paradox to keep my family safe, but there would always be the terror of the unknown. Labor was a foul thing, something I could not fathom given my inability to experience it. It scared me knowing Carska was going through pain that would kill someone in any other situation. Labor was truly a selfless moment--you could force an abortion. If you choose not to, you are willingly prepared to die for the ones you are birthing.

I watched as Ayita responded to Paradox’s words without taking her eyes from Carska’s gaze even once. “That is right. You have to feel the contractions to know when to push.” Soft tones whispering past her lips as she brushed a dripping piece of moss over Carska’s forehead, her throat vibrating in almost a purr-like fashion. “Relax, my Queen. Level your breathing lest you upset your children.” The woman kept her tone even despite Carska’s angry lashes, and I knew how terrified Ayita must be. Carska was her best friend and the one who had helped her with her own birthing process. She clearly understood the benefit of having a calm female to whisper reassurances. A friend who understood in a way a husband never would.

It was at this moment I heard a duo of breath intakes. My gaze snapped to the camp’s northern entrance, prepared to defend though I knew it wouldn’t be a threat. First I saw Newsoul, whom seemed to forget what she was doing originally and just dashed to be beside Carska. Midge moved to direct her away but Newsoul gave the girl a glare that made her think twice. The twilight woman plopped down a foot away from her friend and stared anxiously, knowing what was happening and understanding the pain, though this was an elevated version. It was only after Newsoul settled into panic staring that I realized what she had been doing prior to the distraction.

She had been leading Alonda and Val to the camp.

I knew better than to approach my daughter by now, but my eyes groomed over her for a moment, recognizing the swelling of her stomach. If I wasn’t so worried about Carska, I may have been amused by this turn in events. Val and Alonda, I loved the pair of them but it was just strange. And to think that my daughter was pregnant by that dog! I was pleased with her choice of mate and, though I of course had that ‘no one is good enough for my princess’ mentality, I accepted their relationship and thought highly of it.

My gaze followed Alonda as she moved awkwardly, obviously not accustomed to her weight or width yet, to Carska. She stared at Midge as Newsoul had, though hers was far more aggressive than the beta’s. The younger woman looked away submissively, not saying a word as Alonda laid beside the laboring queen and rubbed her cheek on her mother’s, before landing a paw over the woman’s and squeezing. “Paradox, Ayita, what the fuck is going on?” Her angry concern flooded into her surprised expression, ears back as her gaze traveled between the two. Ayita ignored her, continuing to keep her gaze locked to Carska’s, emmiting her purring sound. Clearly annoyed at being ignored, Alonda bared her teeth at the woman (who didn’t even seem to notice) and then turned her full expression on Paradox. “What the fuck is wrong with my mother and why aren’t you doing more to stop it?”

Welcome home, little princess, please don’t eat your siblings. Or me.

[I L Y I C H]

I stayed silent and against my father as Ayita made her noise and Paradox settled back onto his haunches to wait. There was nothing either of them could really do aside from wait for the first child to get closer to the open air. I guess. Shit. Mother lifted her head again, lips peeled back away from her teeth anxiously as she looked to Ayita for comfort. The scarlet woman spoke softly and soothingly, despite the worry in her eyes. It seemed to be enough for now. Mother lapped up her prescribed medication and flopped back tot he ground, shuffling her front paws into the dirt with enough force to rip gouges. Lean muzzle tucking closer to her chest Carska turned herself into a slight ball. Fighting the pain I supposed, or whatever was ripping her apart from the inside.

It was Newsoul's entrance that brought me back from my panicked staring. Head coming up I looked sharply after father's head turn and locked eyes on the two standing at the barest edge of camp. Val locked his sapphire eyes on me for a moment before casting a fearful glance down at Carska. His paws moved forward just as readily as Alonda's which surprised me. My old friend was more confident then he had been. Though he flinched back so hard he bit his tongue when Paradox shoved past him, standing as if to force Alonda away from our mother. Or I would assume. But Carska had stiffened sharply; her spine stretching out as jaws clenched together with a small half strangled whine. That would be the real reason paradox had jumped back to his paws.

The ebony faced beast barely glanced at Alonda's heavy silver form. His attention focused fully on Mother and her quickening contractions. Sharp black ears twitched irritably backwards but that was the only response Alonda was given. Seeing that no one else was going to answer my newly returned sibling I stood up slightly, awkwardly trying to keep my paws underneath me. "Labor." Damn, I hadn't realize how dry my throat was. The word barely grated out. "It's been going roughly" Mother shifted out of her tensed state at that, tilting her head to eye me like she expected me to say something else. Her paw resting under Alonda's shifted to return a light tap of welcome. unable to really produce much more of a response, though her lips did pull up in a tired playful smile. We all had a basic idea of how Alonda would react to this after all.

Val moved slightly to stand beside Paradox, his dark eyes bouncing uncertainly. The man had been a medic before he and Alonda had gone, after all. Obligation was a funny thing. In the end, seeing how surrounded Carska was the small folami took a step back and went to seat himself a few feet away though those quick eyes never left my mother. Worry and anxiety had always been Val's greatest weakness, and it was odd to not see them painted across ever feature of his body now. Stress set some people in their element I guess. And stress was apparently where Val shined. Mother twitched again, snarling aloud this time instead of that god awful whine. Paradox's ears perked at the angry noise, his thin nose turning slightly before he was just as violently shoved out of the way.

Mother made absolutely no attempt to let anyone help despite how weakly she moved. Snarling in warning when Paradox leaned forward slightly to help her with the small wet pile of fur that she had pulled up to her head with surprising ease for someone who could barely twist to grip ahold of it. Shifting to stand forward slightly I leaned awkwardly. Trying to see in both worry and curiosity. Sibling. That little scrap of fur was my brother or sister. Paradox took a step back then, motioning for the others to back up just a bit. Apparently the danger had passed. "One more I think." Smooth voice flowing quietly Paradox sat back on his heels, casting a slightly apologetic frown in Alonda's direction before refocusing on the child that mother was licking dry between her paws.

She was a little girl, gray like mother with a heavy black streak down her spine. A saddle of that same darker color rested behind her shoulder blades, making her look like a tiny helpless version of her bigger sister. My smile ripped back onto my lips, shining widely as Mother allowed the now wailing puppy to her stomach and the sustenance there. The final child as Paradox had named it came faster then our sister, having found it's way better. Or else whatever was making the girl's birth so difficult had been removed so it could come into the world all the swifter. I watched in calming awe as Carska repeated her previous endeavors, gone to ignoring the rest of us in her calming strokes and careful touches. Paradox moved away at that point, I didn't noticed until his body was abruptly beside Father's. Heavy snout pressing his children to him instead the beast rested his chin on his paws and watched. Silent aside from the knowing smile on his lips.

Standing swift as I could I moved carefully around mother, picking my steps into the dirt gently. Bright ocher eyes turned to Alonda, focusing on her with a grateful gleam. How long had it been sense I had seen this woman? Yet she looked odd for some reason and it took me a pause and a moment to realize what it was. With relization came shock and the snapping of my eyes to Val who had locked his stare instead on Alonda. A question. Those eyes flicked to me and turned sheepish in a second, the seriousness gone as the boy stood up to move over to my sister's side. To is mates side. Well damn. And maybe it was that final shock that shoved me into the other mind set. The remembering. And my heart clenched painfully. This was the first birth I'd witnessed but I'd seen the tiny frail bodies of newborns before. Seen a mother tucked around them. A mother who wasn't here any more. But I put on a brave face and hid away my worries, slopping back into pained curiosity to look down at my brother and sister. One white one gray but they both shared that slip down the spine and both in jet black.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

Call me a hormonal pregnant bitch, but none of this was settling well. At all. My mother was pregnant and it was going roughly. Okay, I was concerned for her above all things, but I couldn’t help but be agitated as well. Who did she fuck? It was only then I noticed Bidziil to the side with a look of panic, and a bit of discomfort. The brute would be jealous if these were not his own children. I stared at him in blank silence for a moment, letting this settle. Bidziil and my mother had had children. Again. And it looked like Bidziil actually gave a shit this time. Oh no. No, nope, not happening. The man was not about to win my mother’s heart again and pretend to be something he isn’t. He is a monster. He would ruin these children just like he did my siblings and me. And if he didn’t...

I had never stopped to think that maybe Bidziil had actually changed. I refused to believe he could. He didn’t deserve a happy ending--he didn’t deserve my mother or children that loved him. He had made it almost impossible for me to find happiness. I looked over at Val, my expression more pained than angry now. It hurt me to see things working for Bidziil. I had had to endure so much to overcome the shadow he had cast on my heart, why should he get even the slightest chance at redeeming himself? But I couldn’t attack him now. I had made a promise to Val I would keep myself calm and take it easy until the children were born. We were going to be parents. I narrowed my gaze and flicked it quickly to Bidziil. Carska was going to be a grandparent and that monster was not going to be allowed anywhere near my puppies.

All attention moved back to my mother as Val came to sit beside me. I could be happy now. I didn’t need to let Bidziil taint my every thought anymore. Val had done this to me, had saved me from the demons I had held onto for so long. I owed him my life, and I would start with allowing him to not have to deal with me bitching about Bidziil the moment I break back into camp. My mother had just had a rough pregnancy and I would focus on that. I ignored the ebony devil as Ayita called him over gently to meet his children. I couldn’t help but wish he would at least give me a nervous look, but he was focused entirely on the two newborns. My frown deepened as I watched him bend down with glistening eyes, pulling a gentle stroke of his tongue along each child’s spine before looking to Carska in complete adoration. Love. It was as if this was the first time he was a father. My stomach clenched at the amount of hate and pain that erupted through it. “I guess we have our little Prince Irwin and Princess Michelle.” It came out soft. Warm. He reached forward and touched his forehead to Carska’s with his eyes closed. “You brought two more beautiful children into the world. How are you feeling?” So soft. Whispers from a husband to his wife.

It sickened me.

“Congrats on the children, mom. Howl if you need anything.” I left it at that, doing my best to keep the bland, rough tone I so often used, before I stood up and waddle away from the happy little family. Let Mahal, mom, and Bidziil give googly eyes to the puppies. That was never my thing anyway. I heard Ayita’s soft tone dismiss herself, allowing the family privacy as she moved to join her own. Midge skipped off, her work done, and Logan stayed behind to stand with Mahal, eyes glistening at the beauty of new life.

I had Val and my children. Anyone else would just fuck shit up.

[I L Y I C H]

Carska was in a haze of exhaustion, that much was obvious. Her world currently consisted of two children and a big black blob that was something of a comfort but mostly an annoyance. Alonda's words obviously registered, as the silver woman turned to look after her daughter, but other then a worried stare there was no real showing to it. I'd not expected one, but it was curious none the less. Dear Carska knew Alonda too well to be fooled by that tone of voice. Never the less the woman settled her head back on her paws and let the mask slide by. Too tired to properly do anything, I should think.

With Alonda moved away I stood and walked after her. There was no need for her to suffer alone. And suffer she would. Bidziil had never shown this to her. Never even made an attempt until it was far too little far too late. I would hold that grudge against him for years to come, it would seem. Alonda wasn't the only one who disliked the aging king. Head tipping slightly I walked past the tired little scene and picked my way to Alonda's side. Sitting quietly along side I perked my ears just enough to keep them all on the neat little map in my head before looking anxiously back to Alonda's face.

"Thoughts?" Perhaps that was a poorly thought out question. I should know what she was thinking. I did understand the thoughts that were surely raging about within Alonda's head I still wasn't a mind reader. I didn't know what was bothering her the most and I couldn't address it unless she decided to talk to me. So stupid questions or not it was a question that needed asking.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I tore my gaze away from the scene as Val came to settle close to me. I offered him a smile, one I did not need to force. I was not one for forcing happiness--my only mask was to pull aggression over sorrow, or simply pull down a blank expression if emotion did me no good. But this smile was true, Val deserved it. I had never been truly loyal to anyone but myself before--maybe my brother and my mother to some extent, but it was always questionable. With Val I never doubted that I would die for him. I never doubted that I would still find comfort in him when I woke up from a nightmare. He was the only one that had ever seen me really cry, ever heard me shout to the sky in an effort to figure out what I was and who I am. My own mother could not even claim such things. So when I looked towards him, no, I did not have to force myself to smile. It just...happened.

“It doesn’t matter. All that matters is our children. We are going to be parents, Val!” I couldn’t help but push my nose into his forehead affectionately. “I never thought I would get to be a mother.” I paused as I pulled away. “I never thought I would want to be a mother.” I laughed it warmly, allowing myself to fall away from my anger and hurt. I would leave the hate for later, when I no longer had to worry over stress levels. For now I could just focus on things that made me happy and relaxed.

And I only had one thing that did that for me.