Castle of Glass [ily]

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I always realized after much too long how little attention I was giving Michael, and how much I was giving Barbara. I justified it by telling myself Barbara was just a little sister to me, a woman I felt I needed to protect and allow joy. Oh, but I knew it was a little more than that. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t even the smallest bit curious. I was loyal to Michael, but nothing said I couldn’t be interested in others, right? Barbara was something new--she was young, pretty, funny. Michael was all those things in a more grown up sense of the words--he was my own age, beautiful, and had the perfect sense of humor to even out my own. I guess I saw myself in Barbara, and was it wrong to like yourself? I didn’t like myself, but Barbara was a better version of me.

But all this meant nothing. I was head over heals for Michael and nothing would ever change that.

I found myself with chin crashing down into the soft earth, Barbara’s cackling behind me. I knew she hadn’t tripped me, I had simply been too distracted to see the root that had been uncovered by the long-term rains. I slowly got back to my paws, embarrassment pushing my ears back against my skull. Had I really been so focus on thoughts about Barbara that I lost track of everything around me. Her and I were walking side by side, though she was a pace behind me now because she stopped at the root. I looked over my shoulder at where I expected Michael and Lindsay to be, whining playfully in the back of my throat, trying to lift the every-growing guilt in my stomach. No matter what I told myself, no matter how many times I reassured myself that Michael was my world, I managed to prove otherwise.

Even now I turned away from my mate and rammed my skull into the ribs of the un-expecting woman, sending her shriek into the dirt. “Not so pretty now, are ya?” I growled with amusement as she lifted her now muddy body from the ground to glare in my direction. Smugly, I trotted back over to the husky-mix, making an effort to wipe my chin playfully on his forehead to remove the mud I had picked up from my own fall. I used the playful nuisance facade just as my excuse for contact, having grown to love the softness of his fur. How long would that last before the bulimia stole it away again? I shook away the thought, not allowing myself to be distracted again. I had to focus on Michael, I had to...

Elk.

I pulled away from the man and turned to lift my snout into the air. I immediately moved to be beside Barbara, her hip pushed up against my lower thigh as we fell into our normal routine. I will give us that--individually we couldn’t hunt worth shit, but together we moved as a single unit, able to take down much larger prey with ease. It didn’t occur to me that we had dragged the other two out to help us hunt, we were both so used it just being us. I guess that is why once the scent of elk hit our glands we both seemed to forget about Michael and Lindsay, falling into our well-trained coexistence.

Both of us fell into a stalking posture, maneuvering through the brush while always staying in contact. The elk came into view rather quickly, head submerged in water as it ate at the aquatic plants in a small lagoon. That would explain why it hadn’t heard our bashing through the undergrowth. It was a large buck, eight or nine points on its antlers. He stood a good height, chest broad, legs long and thick for his kind. I was surprised there were no does around, but I suppose no all male elks are interested in passing on their genetics. At least I wouldn’t be stealing away with a herd’s protector, so I didn’t have to pile that guilt on. The two of us assessed the surroundings in silence. I felt the light tap of Barbara’s nose against my neck, our usual sign for she saw a clear path of getting closer. I dropped a step behind and followed her closely, only stopping when she did not even two bounds away. Two bounds was still too much, the elk being fast and his hind legs strong. Once our paws hit the water he would either take off and we’d be out of luck, or the creature would kick back and one of us would get a nasty bump on the head. Either would result in no food for the Achievement Hunters. But this wasn’t an issue for the two of us--we had devised a routine for situations such as this. Barbara moved a couple feet away, turning towards me and waiting for my signal. I kept emerald orbs locked on the elk and once the beast put his head back under water, I flicked one ear towards Barbara.

The woman barely made a sound as she bounded towards me at full speed. As soon as her front paws hit my spine, I snapped my legs up and straight, rocketing her into the air. I watched as the smaller folami landed square between the opponent’s shoulders. I slid from my cover and as it reared up, I wove under his stomach and lashed up, snapping down crocodile-like jaws onto its jugular and dragging it down. Barbara leapt off from her post and bit at its legs, causing him to lose his balance. I pulled the now stumbling beast to the water, where Barbara placed her weight on his skull to help quicken the suffocation by drowning him in addition to my locking down on his throat.

The beast was dead and it had all occurred in less than two minutes. Barbara grabbed hold of a leg and the two of us dragged the creature from the water, laying its body on the soft land surrounding the lagoon. Proud smiles swept across both our maws as we touched noses. “Excellent leap, Ms. Dunkelman.” I purred warmly.

“I had a wonderful springboard, Mr. Free.” We pulled away from each other with that, the ending of our normal routine. I fell back out of our little world and into the present. Eyes snapped back where we had left Michael and Lindsay, an anxious smile pulling on my expression. I had forgotten all about our helpers, whom had been forced to simply be an audience. I could tell by Barbara’s quick spin around to face the duo with a sheepish grin that she had, too.

All fun and games though, right?

[I L Y I C H]

Michael was stiff as a board, his ginger eyes locked on the little space between his mate and the woman he'd come to fear was stealing him away. So little room. Lips pursed I bumped up against the half-breed, smiling reassuringly up at him when he turned his stiff neck to glare at me. Both of us jumped when Gavin struck ground, Michael letting out a bark of restrained laughter. Tense as could be he'd laugh at anything right now if it made the pressure back off a bit. The man moved forward as if to help Gavin up, but backed off again the second the white folami made to shove Barbara off her paws. Second. Gavin was setting Michael aside as second. Maybe he didn't notice or didn't recognize thats what he was doing, but surely he knew how utterly self-concious Michael was? How bad the both of them were about that? Both jealous little boys. Except one of them was at the end of his rope and quiet ready to just let go all together.

Anxious and upset, I couldn't quiet hide my frown as Michael ducked into Gavin's touch. Shoving his head up to playfully knock the man aside as much as he obviously didn't want to. Because thats what Gav expected. Play. Maybe that was the issue here. Young love moved too fast with no real seriousness behind it. Why Michael was lost and hurting now that Gav had found someone else to be young with. Not that this wasn't both of their faults. Michael had been too awkward and worried to inject himself into Barbara and Gavin's relationship early on and now it was too late. Now he was terrified he'd been replaced in the ways that mattered the most. I'd been defending Gavin from his furious anxieties for weeks but it was all starting to pile up. How long had it been sense the two of them had just been the two of them? It hadn't happened more then the barest amount sense I had joined AH and I'd been here months.

Ducking for a moment to make an attempt to touch his cold nose to Gavin's throat, Michael leaned onto the larger dog carefully. There was desperation in that. I knew Michael. I knew what was going on here. Mickey just wanted to touch him. Wanted to be reminded that he was in fact allowed to touch his mate, even if he was being replaced. I'd always seen where those fears were coming from, but i'd never had it shoved in my face like this. Oh dear Skoll, was this all Michael ever saw? I mean the guy was extremely codependent at the best of times despite him pretending to be the polar opposite. It made me wonder how much Gavin really knew about his friend. Made me wonder if Gavin knew that most of Michael's bulimia was entirely his damn fault. It put a little bit of hate in my heart for the dumbass.

And off went the dumbass in question.

Michael rocked back on his heels, ears perched forward for all of a second before they slammed backwards. My own folded ears curved back as well as they could; imitating the man's look of hurt. "Look at them" he all but hissed, accent curling loudly in his voice. "It's like there the same god damn person." Eyes flicking from Michael to the pair moving so easily towards their goal I came to a stop, feeling the husky stop beside me. He was right about that at least. Both of them were horrible hunters, I'd seen as much when I'd gone with Jack and Ryan for training games. Yet here the two of them were not making a single mistake. Melding into one even being. Michael let out a low snarl, watching almost frantically for a long minute as the elk's head went under water. He didn't hang around for long after that.

Leaping to his paws the man turned bristling and tense back towards the office, his teeth bared to their roots. "I'm leaving. Gonna find Clari." Head turning I watched the chocolate pelted man run away. What did he mean by leaving though? Standing at the though I perked my ears forward and whined after him. Don't do anything rash Michael. Or at least wait for me and Clari to help you pull it off. Looking back down at the successful hunters I forced a smile onto the otherwise fearfully anxious look on my face. I didn't want to give Michael away, but I also didn't want to have to play middle ground. Forcing my tail to wag despite the heat of worry in my chest I turned enough to slip neatly down the slope in front of me. "Nice catch guys. you need any help carrying that back or what?" My face felt like it was going to split apart keeping the easy going smile in place.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

My anxious smile fell away to panic as I realized Michael was no longer beside Lindsay. His shape had faded into the underbrush, my emerald gaze only catching his tail as he moved tensely away. I instinctively took a step after him, my chest constricting. This was my fault. Did he need time alone, or maybe with his friends? Or should I follow after? “Mickey?” Not that he would hear my desperate plead. I could barely hear it. All my pain, fury, panic, desperation, falling into an almost silent whisper. I saw Barbara take a step toward me, but I shot her a glare from my peripherals that forced her foot back into the soft earth. This wasn’t her fault, this was my own, but one needs a scapegoat.

I wasn’t dumb. Michael’s bulimia was back because of me--my friendship with Barbara. I knew the man was as self-conscious as me, but I thought maybe distracting myself with Barbara would help him. I had been jealous of Kerry, then Clarimonde, and now I held a deep envy of Lindsay. I was bound to slip up and say the wrong thing if I watched them together. Maybe I had enjoyed my time with the golden child too much. Maybe I had done it too often. “I love you.” Again, almost silent. I half expected Barbara to think I was saying it to her with how quiet it was, but even she wasn’t that blinded by her own desires. She whined beside me as if urging me to go after my mate. But it didn’t feel right. I had broken the man. He needed good people around him right now.

“Lindsay, you go ahead. Barbara and I got this.” Like that would help. I had the best intentions but as the words leaked past my lips in a deflated, almost agitated tone, I realized what I should have realized so long ago. It was always Barbara and me. I remembered the time it was always Ray and me, but then Michael had come along and suddenly there had been no one else. We had been one in the same. It had felt so right. How had I let Barbara replace him?

Distance for him? Or was I really making distance for me?