In My Remains [aw]

[I L Y I C H]

It felt odd to stand on dirt after so long on mist coated stone. This was a thing I had never managed to do. A question I had held on the tip of my tongue for so long. A thing my friend Dio had denied any answer to. Guardians could leave my domain and walk on earth as solid and breathing as any mortal, so why not I? Dio of course would hear none of it, but the baboon was hearing none of anything now. The wall between us had gone opaque months ago, and what the man did not know would not hurt him. A part of me was deeply angry with my fellow god. Coward. Thats all he was. I supposed it was an ape thing, a section of my mind unable to get around the idea that he was almost human. As cruel as it was. I was still folami after all, despite everything. Maybe because of everything. A sigh pressed past me and my breath was visible in the air before me.

Not because of any cold, but because of the sheer amount of heat trapped inside of me in this instant. The outside air felt like ice in my lungs, and was expelled as steam with my every breath. It had been like that ever sense that morning the sun had not come to call. The flames licked at my insides with fever and I had never felt so ill in my life. Perhaps back before I had died, wrapped up in the heat of dehydration. Maybe not. Death had a way of masking the worst of any experience. Never the less I felt feverish and as if I were about to explode. Both seemed to be leading into irrational decisions. I'd decided this about ten seconds after limping into the original pack's dark pine woods. I'd wanted to speak with Bidziil, but I would not upset his week away. So i'd bided my time, body growing hotter and hotter as the force of the weight in my stomach burned through ever artery in my body.

And now the ebony king was back, and the false beta back in his place. Worry pervaded the air as I moved forward, slinking through the dark where my body all but glowed. Alabaster against the darkness I knew I would not get to the camp unnoticed. It was young Moran who approached me cautiously, sharp orange eyes watching as I looked back towards him. The lad was not stupid, and what he saw in me was a folami larger then he had ever seen. Even if I looked as sick as I felt, which was doubtful my pokerface was brilliant, I was still a massive threat. The layered boy looked back into the gloom. Waiting for his aunt, I would assume, and was proven correct as the woman's golden eyes shown from the brush. It was these two that led me silent into their denning place. Moran was cautious and worried. Theodora made not thought one way or another. To the warrior I was about as much of a threat to her as a half dead beetle. Or so she would make it appear.

So I stood meekly in the open expanse of dirt and pine needles brushed across the floor on which I stood. How odd it was to see this place from the ground. I'd always seen it from above, and it was larger then I had imagined; the trees shielded some of it from view. Moran moved away instantly, making for Brian the moment his mentor nodded her head to him. Boys did love their chatting, and I supposed I was a form of gossip. Theodora turned back to me however, those sharp eyes curious and demanding. As ever. "27" I supplied gruffly, throat aching. One black ear twitched back in response. Eyes sharp and unerring. My lips twitched at the questions rushing ever present in those eyes. I wouldn't put it past the woman to single handedly try to learn everything in the world. "What facility?" I watched her quietly for some time. Knowing I could not lie to those eyes. They would see.

"1" Ebony face tipping slightly Theodora left me alone at that point. White form a blotch of suddenly in the darkness I sat and I waited. Watched. I was surprised I had been left alone with no further prodding. Theodora was no believer in anything, but she saw and she questioned. The woman new a liar when she saw one and she moved back to her tiny family seeing no liar. Curious. A low awkward bark was what drew my attention down. Ah yes. Viiper peered up at me, her ears balanced awkwardly on a slightly back turned slope. She didn't know what to do with them yet no matter the instinct. Poor girl. Deaf as the day she was born, with that special little additive. Poor sweet girl born into the wrong body. It would cause her trouble as she aged and began to learn but for now she seemed uncaring. Simply curious.

Her mother stepped away from the rest of her pups to come fetch the child, sharp blue eyes untrusting and cautious. I offered her a weak smile but that only seemed to make her hackles shiver. Tamriel was not a trusting woman, and that would be her saving grace in days to come. She trusted so very few, but those whom she considered friends would die for her. A good woman then. Viiper only finally noticed her arrival when the pallid woman reached out to touch her back. Jumping slightly the pup turned her head excitedly. Demanding answers as well, but not having the tongue to do so. Tam shooed her away from me instead of answer them. Ah yes. I'd forgotten. As I knew all of them none of them knew me. None but the king who I had come to speak with. To apologize to for my childishness.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

A small smirk played my features as Brian pushed between Nimrod and myself to run ahead. We were almost back to camp now and the boy was eager to return to his friend and trainer, the three of us having failed to announce Brian would be joining our hunt. In this time I liked to drag the boy around, despite Nimrod’s protests, because a trio of black pelts was the ultimate hunting party in the darkness. Brian wasn’t nearly as bad a dog as Nimrod and Midge would have you think, anyway. I had heard Brian’s sister complain about him on numerous occasions in Vea Apxn when she thought I couldn’t hear her. And Nimrod thought he was much too childish--I rather liked the boys active nature and complete disregard for authority. If only I could sway him on his loyalty to the humans we’d be set.

Of course Nimrod ripped out a snarl when the boy broke past us because the lad did push the tigress’ carcass clean out of our jaws and into the mud. I turned a sharp eye towards my second in command harshly and he set back his ears in response. “Boys will be boys, Nimrod. Relax.” He didn’t say a word, nor did he relax, but as long as he left Brian alone to break into camp to see his friends I couldn’t care less. I grabbed the woman’s scruff once more, the coppery blood from her throat wound beginning to crust despite my saliva, and waited for the man beside me to dig his fangs into the flank. I turned ruby eyes towards him challengingly, thinking that perhaps he was doing his own pathetic attempt at rebelling, but instead found him with nose in the ear and eyes narrowed. I let my own grip go, dropping the prize to the ground, and mimicked the man.

“Not one of your many non-pack friends, is it?” The frustrated tone would have amused me if I was already bothered by the scent. Nimrod hated how many dogs were not afraid of me, but actually considered me a friend. It was one thing I had friends in my pack, and in Vea Apxn, but the fact that loners even managed to weasel their way into my heart infuriated him. But as Carska pointed out, he is too loyal to the humans to lift a paw against me. Still, all this aside, I was not happy at the dog’s scent that was in the air.

“No, but don’t even bother sounding an alert.” I grumbled it, annoyed, before grabbing hold of the tigress and flicking my ears to demand the other man do the same. We took our time taking the final paces into camp. Once we pushed our way in, I let go of my half and nodded my head towards the center of camp so the man knew to just continue dragging it without me. He obeyed, but his chocolate eyes stayed locked on the ivory giant in the midst of our camp. I approached him, eyes narrowed, watching as Tamriel ordered her son away. I caught Brian bouncing over to Moran, already excitedly talking about how I had let him take the killing bit on the tigress, seemingly oblivious to the stranger in camp. Meli moved to put space between her and her family, but she kept a reasonable distance from the god. Kevin circled at the outter edges of the camp, neck fur bristling aggressively, or maybe it was actually in anxiety. Ellipses sat by where Nimrod was placing the tigress, offering the man a paw to get it onto the stone slab and out of the mud, doing his best to keep the curiousity from his gaze. Stoich glared from where she had been resting under a bramble woven shelter.

I moved forward, blinking towards Tamriel to make sure her and her children were okay, before placing myself, standing tense, between her and the outsider. “Skoll.” I dipped my head curtly, one king to another. I wanted to curse this man for his audcity--how dare he come here after making life so much more difficult for us. Ah, but I had decided prior that I still did respect this man, even if I did not love him. He was the god I had sought afterall--he just hadn’t been the man I had wanted to find. I felt more than saw Nimrod come and take a rigid stance beside me, not understanding my need to guard Tamriel as I did, but willing to follow my lead. Not that that was really what I was doing--at least, not in the sense Nimrod would think. I knew Skoll wouldn’t attack the queen and her children, but I wanted none of them to become entangled in the god and all his empty words. Still, I appreciated having Nimrod stand beside me--despite everything, I knew the man was good under all the layers. He wanted what was best for his kind--him and I just had very different thoughts as to who could provide the best for our kind.

“Is there something we can do for you?” Bland. Empty. Skoll was not worth petty emotions.

[I L Y I C H]

Blue eyes cut up and away from Tamriel's uncertain expression at the scent of blood and sweat. Leadership. Ears cocking towards them both I did not turn my head or eyes to look. Guilt was thick in me at this point and despite our respective places in the world I could not help but feel almost submissive before this king of wild things. In the end the tenseness in my body rewarded me with yet another break in my composure; eyes tilting to the edges of their ability to follow Bidziil as he moved to my front. Followed the way a walking dead man watched the judge when the man dropped his sentence. Perhaps that was a bit drastic. Body shifting just slightly I looked down at the massive black beast before me in silence, flicked my eyes to his lost friend in turn before I stood. Slowly and painfully, the heat and hurts in my stomach and ancient bones taking their toll in the oddest way on these mortal plains.

Casting my eyes up to the star filled sky I wondered if Dio could see what I was doing. If the damnable baboon was paying the faintest amount of attention to the world. Not that I expected it, but to the god I was yet another child. And I looked up to him for his wisdom. A wisdom now proven to me that he did not possess. A wisdom I had proven to my children that I did not possess. Dropping my heavy head I bowed low enough to take my knees and nose to the dirt. This was my doing and I could not repair it with groveling as he would no doubt assume this was. But I could repair it within myself with the respect I had built up for Bidziil. So long ago I had seen nothing but a lost cause and a deadly poison to those around him. How times changed a person. Standing from my bow I shook my head once.

That name continued to annoy me in the most obnoxious of ways. Skoll. Blue eyes. Fire breather. All such asinine things. Names given to me by others. Perhaps they had forgotten but I was folami, and I was proud of my people no matter their beginnings. Their ends. "27 is the name my human gave me." I corrected him softly, eyes digging in. Wondering. I held pride in my past. Held pride in overcoming man, but I too felt pride for them. They had been my gods in the beginning too. My creators. Who's words and demands were laws and orders. Running from them with a silly name a monkey had given me was moronic and worthless. My past did not need to be escaped. Turning an eye to Nimrod aside his king, I offered that man a nod. Respect. There was nothing left to save in this man for what was coming. I could see it as clear as day. There was no if ands or buts about it. Yet one had to see that loyalty that sheer amount of goodness under the human influence and bow their heads.

Refocusing on Bidziil I frowned. Bland. We wee all just so bland and formal here. Dear gods I hated the mortal realm so much. Despised how careful and anxious they all were. Despised how careful I must tread about them for fear of unjustly upsetting some dog or another. Couldn't we all just say what we meant and speak the truth? I could hear it all anyway. "Me? I'm not worth your effort." Shrugging I sat back down, tail flicking behind me once. The tenseness began to leak out of my shoulders as I watched the king's blank face. Bidziil did not like me I knew. I had announced myself to the beast at such a horrible moment. In a fit of rage. Made me wonder if Bidziil would listen to my complaints. My anger and sorrow and betrayal that had all pooled and lead up to the darkness surrounding his homeland now. I found it doubtful. "Even my brother want's nothing to do with me" Speaking cheerfully despite the real sting in my chest I shrugged again, not knowing what else to do with my body.

Eyes flicking upward once more my childishness wanted so badly for dear Dio to be listening in. To be angry. I could deal with an angry baboon. Not a silent one. Not what my friend had fallen into. Ineffective silence. At least I had acted. One must always act. No matter what. It was what I had been told and trained and tolled into my entire mortal life and I would not drop the belief now. A part of me hated him for leaving me alone with the entire world depending and demanding of me. Hated him for the pressure and the fear. The anger he welled up in my stomach and the rageful thing I had done in the end to try and release it. Dio hadn't caused it all of course. I knew that. But it was nice to have a scapegoat if only for the reason why I had become so utterly furious with my own people. "I came to apologize in all reality. Odd to be the one having to do that." Keeping up my normal chipper facade like a damn barricade I went right on. "My friend left me alone with the entire world and what is one folami suppose to do but get mad? So very utterly furious at everything going wrong that he just can't fix."

"When you can't take it out on yourself anymore you lash out. Childishly. Disgustingly. but you lash out anyway." Going quiet for a long moment, I cast my eyes about watching the aggression and curiosity bubbling around me. The darkness that unnerved them all. My doing. My curious bubbly behavior died in an instant. Falling into depressive seriousness I looked back to Bidziil with dull eyes. "I wronged everyone. Did another thing incredibly backwards and wrong. Just wanted to spit it out and give it back." Like a child returning a lollypop they stole. "There's nothing left to this but stupid pride and my being a cruel impulsive bastard." I'd not thought before hand. Not realized the effects. I was an idiot truthfully.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I couldn't help but grimace when the man corrected the name. I almost willed myself to use his preferred dubbing, but part of me felt that would be allowing the humans too much respect. I toyed with the thoughts in my head, careful not to let the indecisiveness play into my expression. The humans had given me the name Bidziil, having been born in the time where the numbers would have been much too high to use as names comfortably. So I suppose calling this man by his birth number would be no different as the fact that I kept my birth name. "Fine." That was all I allowed him, sitting down neatly as he had done, waiting. Nimrod was tense beside me, one pace behind. He did not sit right away, still unsure of this over-sized stranger. It did not matter what I did, the man would fear anything he could clearly not over power. He deserved the right to that unease. If standing rigid, ready to fight a war that would not come, I would allow him that. He was a well controlled man, so I had no fear he would react out of order. Despite everything, I trusted him. I did hate him for what he had done to my wife and for attacking my daughter, but I knew his loyalty was with me. Some thought it was only because of the humans, but I had known the man for a very long time. We had been friends, once. If my daughter did not bare the scar on her face of his rage, maybe I would have allowed us to be so again.

The brute being humble is not a response I expected. It forced my blank mask to break, guarded curiosity taking over. I let him speak without interruption, though I could feel the pressure of all the questions Nimrod wanted answers to pushing at the back of my senses. I would let the man keep his wonder, knowing he was better off with questions than answers. The knowledge of Twenty-Seven and the true fate of the sun would break the fragile sanity of the poor beast, as it would do for many of the fragile minds of too-strong dogs all around camp. They weren’t ready for this and by the end of Skoll’s words I knew where this was going. My paws tingle in pleasure at the thought of light being returned to us, but I did not let my eyes show my gratitude. I had to allow my pack the mystery. Some day maybe I would have the pleasure of telling them without fear of it doing more harm than good, but for now they could not hold that burden and not be crushed beneath it.

“Walk with me, Twenty-Seven.” I ordered gently, looking over my shoulder at Nimrod and telling him to stay behind. I started towards the camp entrance, tail even out behind me. I would not try and dominate over the ivory king, but I was not ready to see him as superior. I doubted I ever would, nor did I think he wanted me to. A god, maybe, but that did not make him more than a man. “There are some things my family here are not ready to know.” I spoke gently as I passed him, my rough exterior giving way to a sense of companionship. If Twenty-Seven was prepared to admit wrongs and push aside his pride, than so would I. I had much to apologize for, too, afterall. I would never worship this man as a god, but if he admitted he was still mortal beneath the immortality, then maybe there was hope we could be friends.

We could each be our own god, but that did not keep you from respecting those around you.