Change[AW] }{ Carska; Daiade

[I L Y I C H]

ooc:// to whoever is reading this (xD) Carska has taken Bidzil's reaction to mean he wants rid of her so she's gone a bit loony xD my apologies.


How does it make you feel,
when you remember the time the two of us lived
in the arms of the world on the door step of heaven?

They sat, side by side. Bodies almost touching. Emotions ran between them in slivers of pain and sparks of hate. So alike and so different. Two clay forms rolled from the same bed but fired at different temperatures. The siblings sat side by side, bodies shaking with grief. How much had changed in such short time. The gray formed woman turned bleak tawny eyes on him, her black coated brother. Everything was breaking she thought painfully, shaking her head piteously. He stared forward, blind silver eyes thick with his own self contained pain. So long had they rested together, been the others buoy. Everything was breaking, shifting on the ridges of an earthquake that would test them all.

"I hate you" the soft words tore what little heart she had left at that moment. Carska dropped her nose to the stone under her paws. The canyon stretched darkly out into the moonless night, and Daiade's dark form blended into it, as if the thing was devouring him. Stealing him away from her. She shuddered, terrorized into a state of near insanity. "I know" she sobbed, no longer even trying to hide it. "I know" So close, they had been so close. What had happened to them? Where had her heart gone? Running after Bidziil, that's where. But this wasn't his fault, it was hers and hers alone. She had wronged her brother, and forced him to see things his kind heart had broken under.

He listened dark with pained thoughts to her quiet words, spoken through tear jerked vocal cords. He'd done this to her. It was his fault, he hadn't been able to take it. So what now? Now he went back, turned his back on his sister and returned to the lion he now held so close? He was a coward, weak and pathetic. Just as they always thought. He had nothing left to give, he had broken his final heart string tonight. Oh Skoll what happened to us?

He stood painfully, his large body fighting to stay aloft as it so badly wished to crash to the ground and weep. He didn't care how stupid he looked, or how pathetic. He was worthless. Worthless. The only thing he could do now was torment and injure a pregnant woman. Oh yes he could smell it on her,and in the state she had approached him in he was willing to bet Bidziil had not taken the news very well at all. And still he left her. So leave her.

And he did.

She sat, her legs trembling under her by the double hurt she had suffered in the last few days time. Abandoned, that was the word. Terrified that Bidziil would truly love to watch the humans cart their pups away, and the horrible knowledge that she would never be able to look at him again if that happened. Tawny eyes fixated on the ground, reflecting what little light the stars had to offer. They where wet with tears she refused to let fall. She wouldn't cry over them. She wouldn't. But she couldn't help it that biting pressure. That stinging heat. So she relented, pressing herself into a pathetic ball at the top of the cliff, sniffling and trying not to think about what would happen if she where to just vanish.

She didn't want to think she was that useless.


Do you feel the change coming over
Rolling out of the blue like a storm
And its throwing your dollhouse world in disarray.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

"I hate you."

His words torea piece out of my already torn heart. My mind had difficulty wrapping around the concept siblings holding hate for the other. Daiade, a gentle soul that comforted me in the night, was holding cruelty to this broken soul. This broken soul that was his sister. Was this my fault? Could the blind man only afford to hold compassion for one, this chosing me over Carska? I didn't like the silver dog. The canine she stank of was the one that murderer my mother, and she was the former teacher to the one who had slaughtered Akila. But my heart held sympathy.

As my friend walked away, I slithered from the shadows in which I had hid. I didn't have guards anymore, the demons of this world knowing I feared the outside world. If Daiade and Evangeline were not with me, I would not go. So it was easy to eavesdrop, especially when the evil one was whimpering so fiercly. She'd seen evils that were even too much for her own eyes. She was betrayed and alone.

I knew the feeling.

"Carska?" My voice was that of a broken cub, questioning as I stood dead set in front of the dog. Eyes were dreary, but they hinted at concern. My stance was unprepared if she decided to attack. With how things were, I would never have the mindset to think through a given situation. All I knew was this dog was sad, and I wanted to ease that pain. No matter the sacrafice.

"You okay, Carska?"

OOC//: Have her react any way you want. If she attacks, Evangeline, Logan, and/or Daiade could intervene.

[I L Y I C H]

So this was it? Blown so far down that a cat was here to comfort her? How absolutly humilitating. Her jaws crumpled with anger as her lips pulled away from ivory fangs. Carska tucked her head deeper into the flickering fur along her chest. "Go away Abeni" She didn't sound like an alpha, her voice was overpowered by the pain lingering behind. Was everyone just trying to pluck her from the ground, to fling her back down? Fucking lion cub. Her head lashed back, like a snakes jaws already open. Carska didn't attack the feline, but she bared her fangs in furiouse hatred. At this point she really didn't care that the lion was speaking to her.

Her hatred came from having an audiance to her pain.

Humiliating her into anger, but then anger was the thing that pushed away the hurt. Maybe she should be grateful. The alphess stood slowly, forcing her limbs not trimble. Turning her still curled lip at Abeni the woman growled low in her throat. She ahd forgotton for a time about the cat's imprisonment. Not holey forgotton as refused to think about. The animal could not leave camp, but now her guards where so lax she was allowed to wander where ever she saw fit. Carska's ocher eyes narrowed.

She would not attack this cat. Daiade's little pet. She could be useful as yet, perhapse... Sighig past her abred teeth the gray pelted folami relaxed, her hackles dropping to her shoulders once more. Curiosity mingled with the injured pride in her eyes. How much of her camp had this lion seen? How much had she learned? It would be wise to scare her guards into better vigilliance. What would their pack do if this lioness escaped with all their secrets. but then perhapse that was paranoia. Bah! To hell with it all.

The woman sat down with a thump, staring at Abeni with distaste. More so from hurt then from annoyance. "Do you like the canyons, lion?" she asked softly, voice low so as to hide the lingering tears. Unsure of how to proceade, Carska shufled. She was not ehr brother, she felt no kinship towards this thing that she must one day be rid of. But she was grateful, if only subconciously, that this lion was trying to help her.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

She told me to go away, but I took a step closer. To any other, the plain hatred and disgust this dog displayed would have been clear, but I could only see the pain. My will to help her was stronger then my sense of survival--if I had any. "Go away, Abeni."

[/i] But I stayed, my feet firm and eyes calm. I wouldn't walk away.

The next question caught me off guard, and I turned my head to show my strong hue of uncertainty. "Canyons, ma'am?" It felt weird to show respect for this disturbing murderer, but she was an elder. What had mother always taught? I am to respect my elders. Of course, mother hadn't known that she was going to be killed. Did that make it okay to disrespect? Surely not. This dog hadn't even helped in the slaughter.

This girl had done nothing to make me hate her, besides being born to a breed of blood.[/blockquote][/size]

[I L Y I C H]

Carska's head jumped in surprise at Abeni's respect. Where had that come from? Eyeing the lion suspciously the woman turned to ehr slowly. "Yes" she murmured. "The canyons" Waving her front paw out towards the ragged cash in the earth, Carska sighed. It was a scar, a scar that showed the earth that hurt was good and respectable. Animals lived int he earth's wounds. Good animals that hunted and mated and sang their songs. And there it was again. Setting her paw back down, the gray woman dropped her crown for a moment, staring at Abeni. "You hate him, don't you?" she whispered. Refering with ehr dark tones of her own mingling anger to her mate, to her beloved who did not want the creatures growing in her belly.

"You have so much right to hate us,and yet here you are talking to some pathetic pregnant alpha as if you wish to calm me." she didn't care if Abeni knew, she would only tell Daiade and those two cubs. Daiade already knew, that much was obviouse with the way he had screwed up his face at her when he found her here. But surly with those words Abeni would start in horror and lung for her. What lioness would let her family's killer reproduce? What feline would let its grave enemy give birth to its helpless offspring? Carska's amber orbs turned towards the animal, hoping for a moment that it would attack.

She would not kill Abeni, but she wished so badly for something to take her anger and hurt out on. "Do you hate me too?" she whispered, her voice demanding and hesitant in one go. Right now it felt like everyone either hated her feared her or refused to accepted the words she spoke as fucking good news.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

The canyons--and they are?

I knew them. Somewhere deep in my mind, I knew. But to bring it forward was a challenge, one that had me staring blankly for countless moments. But when I recalled that canyons were a place, I knew it was where I now lived. A place that held memories I wish not bring forth. Nothing good came of the canyons. Well, almost nothing.

"I met Daiade here in the canyons. Yes, I do like them." And that's what decided a place for me. If an area held good memories, it was deemed a fabulous place. But if that place held bad memories, I would hate it forever. Despite all the horror here in the canyons, meeting Daiade had been the greatest experience in my life. A simple mind usually had simple pleasures, but my most favorite pleasure was more complex than any scientists. Daiade had saved me in so many ways.

I smiled as I continued to think of this female's brother, eyes carefully content. It never occured to me that this dog would not find pleasure in knowing her brother brought so much joy to her prey. She may be disgusted of him, or ashamed. That never once crossed my simply complex thoughts.

"You hate him, don't you?"

The smile faded away and I looked down to my paws, shuffling them. I knew I wasn't bright. I knew I often misunderstood or was simply wrong. But I was sure I knew who the you in that sentence was. "I hate no one." I still didn't look up to the alphess' eyes. My voice was small, tone quiet but determined. "Hate is for those damned by Dio. I do not believe Dio damns anyone until they have lived their full life. Mr. Bidziil still has years to change. We all do." My eyes didn't lift, for my words were not done. "Besides, I should thank him. He may not have known it, but he lead me to the truth about my life. I'd been living lies, and his actions ripped me from that prison."

Her next words brought my eyes shooting back up, jumping to careful concern for the foe--my pair. "You are not pathetic, Miss Carska. We all make mistakes." I looked to her rounded stomach, though it wasn't really different than normal. "Life is never a mistake, though. Dio creates all beings for a purpose. Mr. Bidziil is their father, and he will learn to love that. I am sure of it." I smiled with thick compassion now. "I do hope I get to meet your children." It didn't occur to me that I most likely would.

As their training toy.

[I L Y I C H]

Carska's lowered skull turned slightly, to give its full attention to Abeni. So this was the young animals mind weighed. Carska frowned. That was once where her mind lay as well. As a yearling the young carska had ben let into the wilds, lost with only the small pack of unknowns as company. The wierd red eyed leader had been nothing but a fear to her then, and when Daiade had appeared, with the sweet smell of her mother on his coat, Carska had been safe. Daiade had been her only ally. And she had usurped him from his place, given it to Bidziil. Could she really only have one of them? How sad. How pathetic.

Shacking ehr head to releave herself of her thoughts, the woman blinked at Abeni. "Me too, little lion" she whispered, watching the night hunker down in its bed. Giving the lion one last glance, the queen slipped to her belly, tail pressed close to the tightening skin there. It was odd, in thinking that this lion so loved her brother. Not disgusting, Carska of all animals could not find love disgusting. It was just... odd. Her eyes flickered, watching Abeni out of their edges.

How could she not hate? How? Anger rage and confusion pressed against the gray woman's heart from all sides. No, none of those, only a single emotions bit at her. It was envy. How it would be to feel nothing of that horrid anger that pulsed in her belly. Grating her teeth, the prone animal let out a low frustraited sigh. Her ears cocked towards the words flowing so freely from Abeni's maw. And something more then reluctant words skipped in her heart. Oh how she whished she could believe Bidziil would love them, love them as he loved her, but her mind was not a place of dreams. Only reality adn the horrable nightmares the darkened her sleep.

"Yes, Abeni. You can meet them, sleep with them, play with them. I took away your sister. I can not be forgiven, but maybe one of my children can be" She knew the hurt of loosing one so close. She knew it well, and it was a raw wound in ehr that would throb for years. This lioness had had it much longer then she,a dn yet she sat her placidly calming her, the monster that didn't stop her siblings demise. Sucking in a weak breath she gave the odd creature a half smile. Abeni was no longer just a prisoner. She was some sort of weaker member of the pack. No one treated her with hate any more, just a grudging acceptance and some sort of harsh annoyance.

Abeni could play baby sitter and maybe find herself loved by this pack. After all it has been said that people love the individual and hate the race.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

OOC//: Aw, yay, I am excited for Abeni now

Even a mind as befuddled as mine could catch the term 'little lion'. What a difference. I'd be dubbed lion by even the kinder of this pack, but placing little in front gentled the sting of it. Yes, I was a lion, but I was a lion with a name. Many didn't know the name, and even those who did wouldn't use it.

A name puts a soul in a body.

What was it Adaeze used to call me? Little child? A warm feeling swelled into my heart at the memory of the compassion in those words. Little lion would do when not said with tones of hate. This dog was not being hateful. In fact, her continuing words included my name. A simple gesture that gave my existance a meaning. I was a living creature in Carska's eyes.

The alphess was laying on her belly now and I willed myself to follow her lead. Harsh abuse made me hesitant, even when I held no grudges. Without Daiade, Evangeline, or Logan around, I never slept. And to lay down was suicide. Or, at least, it was. Here, with Carska, the mate to Adaeze's murderer, I felt safe. It was strange, but true.

I laid down with my skull placed comfortably on my paws, eyes soully on the female laying near me.

"You're forgiven, and your children hold no fault to forgive." I smiled the words, placing them as poeticly as I could so as to hold a serene comfort. "Thank you, ma'am. You'll make a wonderful mommy." I stood then, turning away and making towards the treeline. In seconds I'd set off onto a mission. Carska needed her brother, and she needed her mate. I would give both to her.

Would I even be allowed a word when confronting Bidziil?

OOC//: Figured I'd start the closure of this one so that the pups can be born

[I L Y I C H]

The woman stared at the sky, its indigo expance made her eyes trob. Or maybe those where just the left over tears. Turning her tawny gaze away from the roof of the world, Carska watched this odd little captive set her belly into the dust. Turning to watch her in ernest, Carska couldn't help the slight tug, that wierd motherly instinct that had been making her twitch towards others for the past month. Or maybe that was just some growing weakness. Either way, her tial kinked in disproval at the need to touch Abeni. To comfort. It wasn't right. It wasn't right.

For some reason she had to repeat this to herself.

But her heavy heart was slowly growing lighter, its wings wafting out to dry. She was forgiven then? THat easily? Oh Abeni was a miricle worker, some sort of angle in the guise of what her masters called 'a monster'. And thats why she was supose to hate this kind beast, wasn't it? Because the humans said so. This was diffrent then the wild, this lion had become some odd little hunk of her heart. Abeni had become some odd part of her life.

Worry furrowed her previously contented brow as the little animal stood, hurrying away in an determind fasion. Ears pricking, the woman wagged her tail in silent farewell. Where ever the young lioness was going she had purpose, adn such things always made a life full, and true. Though why a talk with the monster of the lands, the alphess folami, had set such a look on her face Carska was unsure. Setting her massive skull down onto her white paws, the pregnent creature turned her gaze slowly from Abeni's departure point to the indigo blanket so far above.