1.2.3. [Bhuvy! <3] }{ Paradox is in your dream...

[I L Y I C H]

^{Believe Me Hell Burns Bright
When This Night Dies
Hell Burns Bright}

They really where so very sad. They couldn't even find me sleeping in their preciouse little canyon. Now my eyes shown in the dark, their reflectors turning the air before them a shimering blue in the night. Come to investigate my little chickidees. Come find me. Come meet me int he dark, and don't forget your little red hoods, we wouldn't want you to get cold, now would we? Grandmaw is here to love you, to love your heart straight into heaven. Tipping my head back to stare into the indigo sky I smiled, the world was ripping open as it so loved to do in the night. Stars glowed, their pinpricks of light brilliant int he world of the living. They where paler in the inky sky then my own eyes, but not by much.

So God had given me stars out of wich to see, stars that I would coat in blood. Maybe it was a gift to satin. Such beautiful blood coated stars. My eyes closed, my muzzle tipping farther back. I could almost imagin the draw of breath at my throat. That final suck of air that I had watched so many times. Blood doesn't flow after your dead, it oozes. It slinks for your wounds to be catarized by the air. Its clumped by the final fear, and by the horror of the sins that will fling your soul into the pit. Poor poor sinners. We have it so hard, ah but hte saints are just no fun 't all. My body shook with my silent laughter as I lay, still watching the bedlam of light in the night sky.

Paws scrapping the dust I rose, my expression haughty. My arrogance was barly reined in. I Had completed the current bit of killing, and my rein of serial terror had ended untill the next season. If they dropped to fast the flies may be missed and I just coulnd't have that. Only I would choose the way I died. And that way would be by fire. Nothing else would be good enough. It would be fun, I sniggered a mad light in my icey blue eyes. So much fun! Thorn shards of claws dug into the harsh rock under them, one of them cracked. The scent of my own blood however miniscule snapped me back to attention. Aw damn now that I'd given away my location with that stupid bite o' madness I best move. Parting my black muzzle, I licked at the foot until the blood stoped flowing. It surprised me how much leaked from that stupid toe claw.

Yawning indifference tot eh stars, my black masked brown face turned towards the outer shell of the hollow cave I slept in. It was little more then crevise that rain water and wind had ripped into the earth. Forcing my tough wiry form from mother earth I was born into the night, the wind lashing past me into the deeper canyon. Staring after it with a mildly annoyed expression I sniffed, scenting carefully. Whatever diresction that night wind was heading it wasn't away from the camp. My scent would be blow straight into their preciouse sleeping noses. Ah, but what if that little one was out and about? What had been her name? Something about 'first to dance'? Ah oh well. It was time for me to move off. From now until winter I would hold of my blood lust, only clovens would fall before me, and the dogs would be safe.

But hte thing about us Seriel killers is once we got our eyes on you one of us is dead. Maybe oh just maybe I'd get to sink my fangs into someone else a bit early. Humming along with my imagination I started off. I owuld have to go along the canoyon towards their camp before I could make it out to that little deer path up the side and out.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”

Ayita

It was weird how much it had hurt.

That dog had been a murderer, and I accepted it. I'd understood his position from a heartfelt standpoint, even when I could not share in the logic of it. He'd had so much to hide from me, but he'd shared the darkness with much willingness. That's what a serial killer does, he lets others know of his work. I'd risked so much to protect him in that moment, and ever since that day. But his name. He hadn't trusted me enough to give me his name.

Curiousity for the stranger had drawn me over to Bidziil. The alpha may have been bigheaded, but he knew the history of his kind. He cared for his pack so immensly, one could not believe. When I'd approached and questioned about the other pack, Bidziil had been ecstatic to answer. "My dear girl, you finally show interest in the world of your kind." And then he'd gone on and explained about what had happened. I causally questioned if he knew the members, and he had. I asked who had not joined the current Folami Pack.

The name Cain was not amoung those dogs.

But why did the news hurt me so harshly? That was the question I pondered as I paced the outter rim of my slumbering camp. The night was pleasant, so everyone slept out in the open. But I was a Folami, a dog built for silence. They wouldn't hear my constantly shuffling paws. And I knew how to keep my thoughtful sighs muffled. But my brain was pulsing with each step down.

A breeze blew and I stopped to let the refreshing air ruffle my pelt. Skoll was the only one I could be sure of now, for he'd never lie to me. A name was a simple lie, but one that held so much meaning. Friends exchanged names if nothing else. I wasn't worth that risk for the bastard.

Even with this pain still fresh in my beating pulse, I nearly howled in heartfelt pleasure when his scent drifted through the air. That joy turned to concern as I glanced over my shoulder at my sleeping packmates. What if they scented him? I had to warn the great beast of the danger he was putting himself in. Even if he had hurt me, I wouldn't hurt him.

Running full speed, I made it to the canyon in what seemed to be seconds. His dark form moved in the shadows, but I caught the moonlit glimses of his auburn hairs dancing with the twilight. "Hey, you!" I called it, knowing we were far enough away for camp that my average volumed call would go unheard by sleeping killers.

[I L Y I C H]

^{Im in love with a fairytale even though it hurts
cause I don't care if I loose my mind Ive already coursed}

I turned slowly, the voice was recognizeable in an instent, a dark smile curled up on my lips. "Dancer?" the word whispered off my lips as I turned to watch her aproach. My ears stood atop my head in grim welcome. Now I had not expected to see the dear hunter again, but now I was glad to find that I had indeed wanted to. What was wrong with this situation? She looked worried, for me? How preciouse. But there was hurt there too. My eyes chipped, the ice cracking to let the warm water out. "Ayita, little bird..." I smiled, all a bit darkly. The moonlight sparkled in her scarlet locks and I coldn't help but to do so.

She looked like a snack.

Turning to watch her, my eyes went from her to the empty shadows behind her. Yes, they where empty. Turning my pale eyes back on her I continued towards my exit, walking right past her, flicking my black tipped tail against her side. The wind still caried my scent towards the dreaming demons, but I was unafraid. After all I had an exit. Glancing over my brown shoulder at her I grinned, a large feral grin. "There is a deer track a bit farther on." turning my head back in its proper position I swished my tail behind me. "You can't see it unless your traveling down the canyon"

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

He remembered my name. Why could that mean? I wasn't worth the risk of giving his, but I was worth the effort to recall mine. What a strange realization, one which I found hard to bring emotion into. Pleasure for being known, sure, but the displeasure for being lied to equaled out the scale. My stare sat blankly on the beast as I paused close enough to drink in the full intoxication of his scent.

There was only feet between us now.

Silently, I comprehended what his words meant--an escape if the worst occured. Would I hide away with him, laughing as my packmates wander by in search for what couldn't be found? Or would I howl a call of murder to inform them of the fleeing enemy? I wasn't sure, for the pain made me lean towards the latter.

Do I confront a dog that could kill me with a leg ripped off? Or do I hang silently, dangling before him like the puppet I was? No, I wasn't a puppet--not anymore. The strings had been broken when I kept his existance a secret. I wouldn't sit quietly anymore, letting those around me beat me down with words and stares. And I sure as Hell wouldn't let this dog lie to me. I held no loyalty to him.

And yet, I was his slave.

"You son of a bitch." A growl erupted, the unbearable pain creeping to take lead over the fury. I wanted to be strong, but I wasn't. The glare I wished to give, dropped to my feet in defeat as I sat down. This dog wouldn't hurt me. And if he did, who cares. "Your name isn't Cain. Makes me wonder what else you lied to me about."

I'd said it, now the consequences were not glowing in my favor. A small chance said he'd apologize and share his real identity. But then there was always the possibility he'd kill me. Or worse.

He'd lie again--and I'd believe him.

[I L Y I C H]

^{So stay in my memory
you can hide out there}

I twitched, un able to do anything else then this. My mind gave a sharp elastic snap, and I turned murder in my eyes. It was not for her though, it was for those shapes circling behind her, shadows of demons long lost to my fangs. I could taste their blood on my lips, feel their meat resting in my gut. The snarl curling from me was muted in my own ears, one of which was flat back wile the other dangled and twitched towards Aliya, wondering what it was being asked to do. Unholy blue eyes dazed and flared in my black face, daring those shadows to attack the bird resting so easily on his rump. My tail kinked in an agressive pose, but still me eyes stared past her towards the monsters at the end of my vision, which was beging to tunnel out.

Forced from my daze by the worrysum black edges of my vision, I wrenched my head back, chin arching up as I tried to avoid smacking myslef with the paw that had flown up with my jaw. I stood like that for a long moment, staring at her in confusion. WHy was I so mad again? I couldn't remember, couldn't rember. Bitting my lip to avoid what else may spill from the over flow of my mind, I stared at the red locked woman before me, sudden enlihgtenment sparking i my blank eyes. Thats right, thats what set me off. My name. The real or the one I gave myself? Cain wasn't real, no... No it wasn't real, but other gave it to me, that title so it could be considered a form of adress. The broken brother, the enviouse and jelouse one.

My head snapped ot the side, tilted like an owl's staring at her from a crooked angle. "Liar? You want the triuth little dog. You think you want the truth?" My jaws parted, snapping together in the same instint. Fixing my pose, I stood staring at her with blank eyes and a ludicrise and rather hateful expression. My lips pulled back into a grimace. "You want me to tell you whats left of my own heart?" I demanded in a lower voice, the tone resembling hurt. "I wasn't lying to you, there are animals that call me by that name. I have lost count of the names given to me." I was being truthful, coempltly and utterly, and that fact had my ears trembling atop my skull. The truth broke me, turned me into a monster. wouldn't le tthat happen to her. No, not again.

Not to this preciouse little bird.

My face oulled back in a grimace of apology. Apoplogy because though I wished so badly to protect her my own selfish need to have another to grieve with me made my tongue continue to wag, mad my jaws continue to part and had my larynx trembling with those dreaded words once again. "Were did you learn this any way? Did you find a neat little list of an old broken pack?" my eyes sparked, voice catching a faint hint of distruaght pain. "Where there three little names crossed neatly through? My brother's names? My name? The name I renounced back in that damn valley?" I stepped towards her, the brown hues of my back catching the moon with a disturbing washed glare. "Syntax, Ellipses and Coal? All of these are dead. Only one is reborn"

I turned away now, fearful that I would be caught in another fit if I went much farther wilst looking at her. "Do yo know what the word paradox means? That is my new name, Paradox. The name I gave myself so my family would not have to shoulder my disgusting soul." I smiled to myself, my back to her. Turning my skull to stare at her from one eye, I force the expression across my face that is usually there when I speak with her. That arrogant smug stare. It breaks so quickly, it breaks into a weak self loathing grimace. Why am I telling her all my secrets? I don't know, but oh the fealings that are slipping from me now, and the joy of knowing im not wholy alone anymore. "I demiated them, you know." the words where out, circling my star lit muzzle.

"They couldn't take it, knowing she love me more, Beloved that is. She picked me and they couldn't stand it. So they killed her, killed her and transfered every once of their hate and envy and jelousy into me. They gave me their souls so I may beocme some form of shade and terminate their living bodies." my grin cracked, sinking away. I was trembling now, shacking like a leaf in teh wind. AT this point I could be tlking to a wall for all it seemed, but I wasn't. I was speaking to Ayita, to the dancer, to my little bird. She wouldn't hate me. She wouldn't hurt me. She didn't want to kill what i had left, my own urge to kill. She was my friend now. My familiar. The odd companion I came upon and dumped my hurt on.

I turned to her now, wincing as my side strained. THe sharp effect of those shadows had agrivated the old injury, the scar upon my ribcage obviouse past the lump of fur surrounding it. But that didn't matter right now. I shook off the pathetic bodily pain and focused on trying to do the same to the emotional. It didn't stop it, only made it angry. Now with everything stripped bare and laid upon the floor I gave up, slumping to the ground and ignoring the pain of my jaw as it hit home. I laid before ehr broken, but not ready to die. A spark remained, a renigade dream. I need to destroy two more. Two more and everything was complete. Two more and everything could end. It could just fucking end.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

Sometimes fear isn't enough to let instincts win.

I should have ran. Headed home then and there. Alerted the supremes and the warriors. Abandoned this broken dog and let the highups end his misery. A little part of me said that'd be the right thing to do. A dog with so much dangerous intent and harmless ethics couldn't live a life worth living. He was suffering.

But a bigger part of me said it'd be inhumane.

Even as this dog scared what little nerve I had left, my legs stood firm and gaze focused. A step away would shatter a tattered soul, letting him know of the unease he caused. Barely knowing who this dog was, I would be his walking stick. That was a promise.

But I did know who he was. He was my precious Paradox.

I watched him collapse with concern plastered on my face. His questions would fall on deaf ears, it would seem, to an outside listener. But I cared, and I would answer. I would answer because he deserved an answer--he'd given me an answer. "My dear Paradox."

I walked forward and knelt boldly beside the crumpled form. Any unease that had woken earlier, was now put to rest. This dog was of no threat to me. My emotional state may be shaken by his stories of cruelty, but no physical harm would set forth with my dear guardian. He was the only friend I had.

Something told me I was the only friend he had, too.

"My alpha knows the general history of the packs, so each original name is set in the stone of his memory." The answer didn't matter, but my gentle voice was made to comfort him, his edges curving downwards into a whisper. Placing my maw close to his lowered ear, a warm erange of words flowed forward. "You have a right to your hate, dear Paradox. They stole from you more than just Beloved, but the very life you lived. I'm sorry for bringing forward these memories, but only now that I know the name given by you, and not the foolish terms idiots have presented, can I be of some real aid." I stood then, pulling away and staring my pale eyes down on the dog. My smile was not happy, but more there for reasurrance.

I'd never murdered, but now I felt like I could.

[I L Y I C H]

^{Will the rain ever stop?
Ive been cold for such a long time
Why does the rain choose me?
Can I wrap myself up in it?}

I couldn't move, it hurt. Daggers behind my eyes... The blackened broken blue curled up in my head to stare at the woman before me. Why? Is lumped deeper against the ground, my body forsaking all atempts to keep itself strengthed. I went limp, slumping and hissing into the canyon's dirty ground. Why? Why? It ate incesstant and hurt at the back of my thrat, and I could do nothing but stare at my little bird in blatant broken confusion.

I couldn't hear her words anymore then the pulsing of the stars in the indigo sky. But I could hear its heaving. The tones of comfort drawn into my ears after so long. I closed my eyes letting it lul me. I was useless, a pathetic know nothing heap of fur and bones wiht nothing more then a prickler brain to keep me going. Things I'd heard all my life circled me. I would have been omega had I not gone AWOL on everyone. I would have been busted and bleed upon the rocks for being an emotional freek. And yet, here was a random soul set to stand me up and clense my wounds. As if such wounds could be mended.

What was wrong with the world when I the larger and stronger of us was the one comforted. Slitting my eyes open to stare at her, I shifted, rolling onto my side so I could look at her. I knew the expression on my face, it was something that had tormented me for a period of time after Beloved's death. Blankness.

Nothing was there, my very pupils hazed over with the extent that nothing drug across my face. And I could do nothing but stare at her, at the scarlet locks that hung about her frame and the snow white under hues that brought it all out. I blinked slowly, meating ehr pale gaze before with a shuddering breath I forced myself into a sitting position. "Why do you still stand there, little bird?" To most my voice was irksom, my normal tone of arrogance ringing like a droid. I prayed she oculd hear the weakness quivering behind it. "Ayita?" the arrogance was replaced, the quivering forced out into full light.

What was wrong with me? I was falling apart at a rate that was far faster then it should have been. Damn. "I can't understand. Don't you think im disgusting? Can't you hate me like everyone else?" I tried to force the arrogance back but it fled like a sniveling child, leaving my with the weazened groan of a prisoner. It was so much easier when they hated me. So much easier to take. This kindness was just so cruel, so vicously cruel. I lowered my head, staring at her from hooded blue eyes. She was smiling a hateful little smile. As if trying to comfort myself and tell the rest of the world to go fuck itself. I blinked at her, staring back through clear blue rings once again, fighting for composure.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

Sometimes the weaker are stronger, and wrong is right.

He was falling with no one there to catch him. Or there hadn't been. I'd catch him. That decision was made the day I chose to lie to the face of my devoted pack. The pack that'd sooner die then let harm come to one of their ranks. My family.

Yeah, the family that had me awake in the night.

The group had never harmed me. They'd fed me from their own jaws, raised me and protected me. But it wasn't selfless love--it was with hope that I'd grow up to be a killer. And so I'd bended to their will, though I never pleasured in the act. My kills were quick and painless, merciful compared to that of my pairs. They didn't stop it because I was still giving towards their mission. But I knew what their minds had prechosen. If someone had to die, I'd be one of the first to be sacraficed.

Garbage day approaches and I was the puppet with the broken strings, the steel carved heart long since fallen from my chest.

"I stand here because I have no where to go." My words were again gentle, though my own sorrow hung in the abyss behind the words. This dog had a broken past, I had a broken future. I stood here with hopes of helping him, but as my breed demanded, there were some selfish intents. I needed Paradox to show me that some loyalties weren't based on simply who was the most useful to the journey.

It was clear he wanted me to hate him--he wanted me scared. I growled at his words, ears held back in aggression. "I'm not like everyone else, Paradox. The sooner you understand that, the sooner we can get past the stage of aquantenship." Gaze hard, I stared down at the mutt. But I couldn't hold up that face.

Ayita--first to dance.

"You're stuck with me now, fire-fur."

Smile in place, my eyes playfully challenged him to object.

[I L Y I C H]

_{Don't be shocked that people die
Be surprised that your still alive}

No where to go huh? So she was like me. My eyes focused on her, slowly brightening again, my brain drawing itself back together behind the ravaged shelf of memories. No where. How long had it been sense I refused to think those words? I had changed them. Anywhere. I could go anywhere, and yet I had nowhere to be. And that changed everything. It made me a waste, created a monster.

I was a monster.

And I had thought that title didn't hurt me at all.

But it hurt. How it hurt. It was like being a child again, tormented by those others who didn't think I should be left to existent. My teeth ground together. "Damn" I shook my head hard, pretending my brain was rattling around in it seemed like a good plan. Sighing harshly, I stood once again shaking my head.

I eyed her with interest, cloaking myself in composure once again. Making sure it was latched firmly, I turned to her, padding closer. My smile crept back into being. This odd red toned animal could be cute when she tried. My grin sprawled wider across my face as I neared her.

"Fire-fur, hm?" my voice practically purred from my throat. My body inched closer to her, my large black snout pressed so close to her own. I could feel the heat from her breath. "And what exactly would you like us to be?"

See, even after meltdown I could still be a god damn perv.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

"Friends."

I'd answered too quick, that became clear as I stood for a second more. Joy that he stood, desire for the closeness, want when he did it--I paniced. Like a lunatic, I had lost control and smiled the words without even considering a thought. Oh I knew I wanted more than friendship from someone, and this dog seemed to fit the bill with perfection. The bill I didn't know I had. But my subconcence knew it was so wrong. The instinct the damn humans had installed had made and override as I stood in my daze. My human lead brain said friends. But oh, my heart screamed so much more.

I had to regain myself, so I pulled an inch away. I couldn't think with his scent teasing my glands. Blinking away the forbidden desires my eyes displayed, I curved my maw into a temptest of a smile, eyes narrowed in the deepness of the pleasure. My slim body wagged as my tail started off. "Friends. Playmates. Paradox, I can be whatever you want me to be." The puppy in me played the innosence card, saying terms that young would use. But the adult in me had different wants--different dreams. The kid used my words, but the adult spoke with my eyes.

Whatever you want me to be and more.

[I L Y I C H]

My blue eyes glowed at the swift response. It was too fast. As if she had blurted out the first excuse she could think of. Hide behind your alibi darling. My ears pulled forward, ignoring the distance she put between us I cocked my head to the side. My tail caught the wave of hers and the brown appendage was suddenly acting in a way it hadn't for some time.

What was this odd scarlet beauty? How had she managed to work her way so deep into me? Some foreign splinter dug into my flesh, and the funny thing was i wanted it there. It was foreign. It was a transplanted organ. A thing I didn't know I needed until it was there. And now it was beating with my god damn heart.

My eyes narrowed at her words. Whatever I wanted her to be. What did I want this odd innocent girl to be to me? Even I didn't know, so I supposed her answer was a good one. But her eyes spoke of something else, and my own pale orbs flickered as I saw it there. My head tilted, angling to catch her if she tried to evade me.

Reaching out to touch her, actually touch her this time. I brushed my nose across her jaw. "Is that so?" My eyes locked on hers, asking. Confused. I didn't know what this was. I forgot what it was called. Some pathetic little chunk of my heart drifted back into being, and as corny as it sounded I could almost sing with joy at feeling its weight there in my chest.

[I L Y I C H]

ooc:// should we just cut it off here, or would you like to reply? I can lock it if you like :3