Hospitals are my kryptonite. }{ [absence notice]

[I L Y I C H]

Right so I took a drug called klonopin for anxiety, but I ran out about a week ago and haven't had time to get it refilled. It's expensive and though my insurance covers most of the cost I still have to fork over ten to twenty dollars at any given refill (plus the prescription appointment if I'm past my limit that month) which doesn't sound like a lot but i'm broke constantly xD That would be about when we get to the fact that my doctor is an evil little shit.

So I've been seeing this man since I was around 12 because i'm too ingrained to switch doctors and he is a primary care physician for both the pediatrics clinic and the main hospital branch. The issue with that would be that when I was seeing an old therapist I was forced to have my cuts looked at by this guy (which I really didn't care about at the time). Because of this every time I go off my meds he freaks out on me.

Frankly I had a severe self injury problem a few years ago, but I have not relapsed nor have I reverted to other methods. Last year when I went off my anti-depressants he threatened to throw me in hospitalization and I threatened to sue him if he did so as I had enough proof from my therapist that it was safe for me to go off of the drugs (as I had been lowering the dosage for the last six months). My primary care doctor backed off but he was rather grumpy about it.

Today I had to go in because I have the flu, because the world hates me xD, and he asked if I'd had a refill. Not thinking I told him no. So this man flips out on me once more, and my reaction is to shut the door in his face and leave. Screw flu meds I hate the way that doctor looks at me when he thinks im not medicated enough. It's like he expects me to flip out and shoot him or something. Not that I really blame him sometimes. Last year I went low on my klonopin and had a major panic attack, but I didn't have any stimuli at this time. I was avoiding it like the plague. I mean what the hell did he think I wanted to go hyperventilate on the floor?

So this doctor wanted to look at my scars. He claimed to want to determine whether any of them were fresh or not. I told him I hadn't cut in almost two years, he didn't believe me. So once again I left, or tried to. I don't need people telling me they don't trust me. Or that I'm obviously trying to hide something. The little shit had me Baker Acted. So now I'm stuck in this stupid hospital for at least three days, if not a week. Most of the hospitals I have ever been in will intentionally refuse a diagnosis for the first three days to keep an individual under 'protection' for as long as possible. So i'm most likely stuck here for a week; if not more.

I hate doctors. I'm switching physicians the second I get out of here. it's nice to know i'm being heavily medicated (their trying to put me back on those damn anti-depressants) in a place where my room mate keeps trying to give me blades. I swear to god if I snap in a mental health ward im going to hurt someone -.-

[Kunabee]

Your doctor. Is an ass.
He sounds like my Dr. Siegel, the hated psychatrist...
Anyway, I'm sorry that happened Ily. If I was put in a mental health place, I'd get worse, not better.
I mean, I heard there's nothing to read, no computer (though obviously only for certain levels, including my mom's boss's kid...), no music, no writing... I'd start freaking out. Like, I'd start flipping out. That may be the only thing to make me attack other people. =/

ANYWHO. THIS IS ILY NOT ME.
I wish he was nicer... it wasn't fair for him to throw you in the hospital the instant he found out you hadn't had a refill yet. I mean, you clearly were busy, he should have just warned you and the next time you met with him he should've then began to worry. Y'know?
And your roommate keeps trying to give you blades? YEAH, OBVIOUSLY THAT'S WHERE SHE TOTALLY NEEDS TO BE.
idiots.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

Aw, honey! Dx That is awful! You finally near the ending of your academic imprisonment, and then your doctor decides to be a bum. If you need ANYTHING, just send me a text. I will kidnap Ashley and make her help me break you out if I must ;-) I love you. Stay strong. And stay in control! Don't hurt anyone, no matter how much they deserve it. That will NOT HELP your current situation. Keep us posted as much as possible <3