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Post by Bhu ♥ Irwin on Jun 26, 2012 12:44:04 GMT -5
I was not the only one with inner battles to be fought, I could see that clearly now. This woman, Rickalaru was her name and I found myself filing it for remembrance, was not as certain as I believed all Vea Apxn to be. Her eyes displayed a sense of uncertainty, which I caught before she hid away the gaze. Her heart and mine beat to a similar tune, and I found this discomforting. No, maybe it was not that that made me uncomfortable. I had grown accustomed to being alone on my journey, to be one of a kind, if I may have the liberty to be so cliché. But Rickalaru, Stitch as I formerly known her, walked by me. There were trees inbetween us, beliefs and values forcing an ocean in the middle, and yet we were the exact same.
“Perhaps,” her gaze found mine once more and I fought to hold it, but failed as I continued, shattering my look to the ground in front of her feet, “you could carry some of those values to the original pack. The humans said we are to be loyal, to assassinate the felines, and to lead with brutality. But they did not say we could not care for Folami.” I spoke the words slowly, choosing them carefully with each coming out curved as its own question. “Most of us were raised on hate and violence, so it is what we carry on our shoulders, it is what we know. But perhaps the humans did not intend for that to be so. We must know hate so that we can pick off the felines without remorse tainting the kill, but hate does not need to be who we are.” I dared to look at her now, fighting to hold her gaze. “Stitch, can you teach the pack the meaning of family without smoldering them done to sniveling kittenhuggers? Is such a feat possible?” My hard expression broke, but I kept it locked on her’s. There was panic planted there, but also a guarded curiousity.
Once upon a time, I watched a hopeless Folami pup learn when taught with love.
Lab rats.
OOC//: Don't mind the ending. It is something that went on between Nimrod, Carska, Clarimonde, and Mahal during a puppy training thread. It fits here, but it may sound off if someone is not familiar with the If I could Dream thread. |
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Post by nEwOL握敵 on Jun 27, 2012 9:19:05 GMT -5
Ooc;// I’ll have to read it later, and dangit, why can’t I have posts just flow like this this consistently in ALL my threads. This thread, RIGHT HERE, is easily my best work.
I could tell that my words had done it. They had brought him back after the withdraw of his violent reaction, his refusal of my words. He was risking it, I could see it in his eyes. He was daring to peer into the confines of his soul and witness what was truly here. It weighed on him. I could see it in the intensity that burned when our eyes connected. It was too much and so that connection shattered, and feel to the ground before me. Something seemed ready to boil out of him.
And what he issued forth, I felt the recoil of. It was like a cannon sliding back after disgorging its round, and my body mimicked the motion. My face took a wounded expression, my brow tensing and a frown reaching my lips. My ears pressed flat against the back of my head. I quickly got to my feet and my tail tucked between my legs. My body language spoke chapters for me, and so I didn’t even have to issue a syllable. I retreated a step quickly, and started to take a second one, what he had spoken and literally moved me backwards. My breath started coming in heavy huffs for oxygen. I was just so caught off guard by it. I was very strong woman, but that was a blow I was just so unprepared for. He was asking this of me? I was asking me to teach him? To teach his pack? To teach them something of this magnitude? He was asking me to lea-
No. At this moment I caught myself. My senses recovered from the recoil and I forced myself to adjust. I closed my eyes and aimed by head at the ground, taking a deep breath and recollecting myself. That was most certainly not one of the things I’d been expecting to hear when I came here. It really had caught me off guard. But I forced myself to think now, to actually give thought to his words. “Okay… I apologize. I wasn’t expecting that.” I cleared my throat and looked back up at him, my ears still pressed flat, though my tail untucked itself and fell behind me. My voice was a little shaky at first. “Nimrod, I….” I started to speak of my devotion to Vea Apxn, to Carska, and to the survival of my kind, but then I realized, that truly and honestly had nothing to do with his question. I was trying to give it an honest thought, and at the same time I wasn’t at all. My eyes suddenly changed from shock to uncertainty, and again my head dropped “don’t know… I just don’t know… There might be a chance… Of some kind. It would take effort.” At this point I began thinking aloud, letting my thought process flow through my maw as to answer his question wholly. No need in speaking of my loyalty to Vea Apxn and Carska, as intelligent as he appeared to be, and as big a part of me as they where, the complications they alone would create, maybe even as he as he’d asked me. “And an amount of time.” My eyes returned to his, they where stern now, serious. “They would have to come to know themselves, truly. And to accept it.” I bore into him now. “You would have to accept the truth of who you are, Nimrod.” I took a step toward him now, one to fell the gap I’d made, then another to fell the one he had made earlier. “Your flaws. Your short comings.” I was certain of this. Machines couldn’t be taught to perform a task of any kind as a family. I believed that from there, I might actually be able to. But I also realized something else, so I swiftly added “Only then.”
I’d realized that I was digging in far too deep here. I needed to distance myself or I might get sucked in. I had to think about this. I actually had to give this fair time and consideration, else it would be too much like a dream. And the Vea Apxn part of me was screaming like a drown out speaker that I shouldn’t host it at all. But at the moment it felt strangely right, though I knew once I got back to the safety of my home in the prairie that it wouldn’t. And that’s another thing that made this feel the way it did, this was home too. So I had to just back off some. “I shouldn’t stay much longer, else Carska might send a party to find me.” I said the words sternly.
This meeting… For some reason… I just knew it would echo through the rest of my lifetime. Maybe not in that very moment, maybe it hadn’t wholly sunk in yet, but the feeling was there, ever so faint it the back of my mind.
Word Count: 824
Dragonfly – Shaman’s Harvest
Cure The Itch – LinkPark
Intro – The XX
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Post by Bhu ♥ Irwin on Jun 27, 2012 9:54:05 GMT -5
Hate. We were built on hate, raised in the blood of murders. I had said it, admited that there was more than just a knowledge of right from wrong that made us who we were. If not for the upbringing, we would not be this, this creature. I was saying that had we been raised differently, we would not kill the felines. We would not harm each other. It was against the instincts we all had. I had said, indirectly, that we were not machines. Everything I had believed before this meeting was a lie. No, it couldn't be.
I refused to believe that the humans had lied to me.
I looked away, ignoring her movements and words for a long time. The war, it still barreled around my head. This meeting, it was wrong. So very disobedient of me. I did not want freedom, I was not like Carska or Bidziil. There were things the humans said and did that I questioned deep down, I had always known I had, even if I refused to admit it. But those were few while the great gifts they bestowed were many. I regained my dignity then, hardening my stature and standing firmly with tail raised for the tip to be level with my skull. I was not the alpha, but I was the one to watch over the pack until Bidziil either comes to his senses, or the humans send us a new one. I could not let this woman leave thinking I was a sniveling child.
Though part of me wanted her to tell Carska I was not the big bad wolf.
Looking to Rickalaru, I accepted her words with a stern nod. Yes, it would take time. I would see what could happen, see how the humans reacted if we didn't use death as the first form of punishment. Only if they look upon us with approval or indifference would we try harder. Yes, maybe it was possible to hate cats and love Folami.
Love, what a putried word.
"Yes, yes, we do not need Vea Apxn scurrying onto the pack lands. That would cause a fight that I would rather not have." I looked away from her in farewell. I would not dare say 'until we meet again' because I knew I was not a changed man. The only thing I could allow myself to take from this meeting was that I was so very lowly, therefore I must work even harder to keep myself in check. Instincts were primitive and I was a higher form of life. I had to be.
It was...right?
OOC//: I am starting to draw blanks on Nimrod because I do not want him going all soft and Bidziil-like and such. So, if you want to reply, go ahead. If not, send me a message saying so and I shall lock it up and toss it to archives  |
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