Reflections.

[Kunabee]

"It hurts when nobody comments on something I said."

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I get annoyed, and even angry, with people very easily.

[Kunabee]

I feel trapped all the time.

[Bhu]

I'm not healthy and active as much as I am too stubborn to be a regular, overweight, lazy American. It is this stubborness that makes me hike and eat healthy.

[Kunabee]

It hurts me to see anyone in pain, no matter if they've hurt me or are my best friend or total strangers.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I hold a terrible grudge against Ivan, Irwin's former boyfriend. Close to Irwin's passing, Ivan started getting taken over by the hormonal rush that comes with his age, and began mercilessly beating Irwin if he approached the food. Some to of the hits Irwin withstood were horrid, and I can't help but dump blame for his death on Ivan, even if I know it isn't really his fault. This causes me to keep from defending him when our big buck attacks him....and to avoid helping him get any food when the other's defend it.

[I L Y I C H]

I can't except help. It makes me feel weak, though I have been trying to climb above such pride. If I'm hurting it is quiet likely that I will plaster on a smile or a frown and either bubble my way or snap my way out of conversations.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I am terrible at advice/comforting. Maybe it stems off my own lack of willingness to accept comfort (sort of branching off what Ilyich just said), but those who are in need of mental aid are wrong to come to me. Try as I might, I end up falling silent and walking off, the pained individual unsatisfied, and perhaps worse off than when they first came.

It is this fact that causes me to often regurgitate the same helpful tidbits over and over again. If I see success with it just once, I cling onto it and force it down everyone in need throats. I have no quite grasped the fact that even though something helps one person, it may not help another.

[I L Y I C H]

I have always been my friend's therapist. Apparently being completely insane myself makes me a prime target for the offering of mental health...? People tell me it's because i'm so utterly sure of myself (which is a lie I've perfected over the years) that they feel comfortable with me. I will never understand it.

[Kunabee]

There are days when it feels like I am floating. A distant, sort of empty person. I feel so very old, a thousand years to my name, and young at the same time.
What pain have I caused? What pain have I felt? Too much to only be a fifteen-year-old girl. I'm a little girl, in the end, really I am.
But what words can describe what I'm trying to say? No matter what, my meaning won't get through. That's just the way it is. I feel what I feel.
Sometimes emotions just have no description.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I am not 'over' Irwin. Not even close.

[Kunabee]

It's what is in my writing.
Everything is dark.
But in the end...
There is light.

[Bhu ♥ Irwin]

I would give my life for certain people, but I can not bring myself to trust them with the same.

[I L Y I C H]

I am not scared of death, but I am terrified of what will do it to me.

[nEwOL握敵]

I'd die in place of my friends, secretly this is selfish, because I'd rather be dead then have to live without them.