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Post by Bhu ♥ Irwin on Aug 23, 2012 19:51:50 GMT -5
I am not afraid to die, but pain terrifies me. As calm and collected as I keep myself, as much as I laugh at my blood, I am inwardly a weeping child.
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Post by Kunabee on Aug 23, 2012 19:55:28 GMT -5
I would die but for my friends and family. I want to die. But that's selfish, and I have people here who need me.
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Post by Bhu ♥ Irwin on Aug 24, 2012 6:38:22 GMT -5
My suicidal desires have not fully left. Granted, it is far less an urge than it was years ago, but they're still there. BT has sort of become my haven in which keeps me from dangerous...activities.
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Post by Kunabee on Aug 24, 2012 23:08:29 GMT -5
I'm scared of judgement for my beliefs.
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Post by I L Y I C H on Aug 24, 2012 23:30:03 GMT -5
People scare me and I'm constantly terrified that someone will truly hate me enough to want to kill me. So I've become as brash and bold as I can possibly pretend to be in the hopes that at least it will look like I went down fighting.
(paranoid as shit) |
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Post by Bhu ♥ Irwin on Aug 25, 2012 7:09:56 GMT -5
I have severe social anxiety. It goes way beyond a phone phobia. I jump at every sound and will typically spin around, arms at the defense, expecting even my closest friends to stab me or whatnot. I suppose this is all caused by my low self-esteem; I think I am a terrible disgusting person, so I believe everyone else thinks it too.
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Post by Kunabee on Aug 25, 2012 12:28:50 GMT -5
I am the sum of all my mistakes, not anything good I've done.
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Post by I L Y I C H on Aug 26, 2012 10:07:34 GMT -5
Socially I am a chicken shit, that would be why I have so few friends. I can' talk to people because my self esteem is horrible and I can't help but worry over whether they already hate me or not. Thus I don't talk to anyone and when I do talk to someone I word vomit everywhere. |
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Post by Bhu ♥ Irwin on Aug 26, 2012 12:15:29 GMT -5
A lot of what Ilyich says applies to me, too. Yes, this is a reflection, because I never knew someone that I could relate to on so many things.
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Post by Kunabee on Aug 26, 2012 14:37:25 GMT -5
Looking in the mirror is hard.
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Post by Bhu ♥ Irwin on Aug 26, 2012 16:45:48 GMT -5
I speak my mind but not my emotions.
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Post by Kunabee on Aug 26, 2012 19:08:42 GMT -5
When I try and look at myself from other people's eyes, it's always a negative view.
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Post by Bhu ♥ Irwin on Aug 26, 2012 21:22:34 GMT -5
I have a very difficult time, if not an actual inability, to live in the present.
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Post by Kunabee on Aug 27, 2012 21:03:33 GMT -5
I'm scared of the future. It keeps me awake at night, heart-pounding and terrified, as I fear all the bad and shy away from all the good, the possibilities.
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Post by Bhu ♥ Irwin on Aug 27, 2012 21:26:45 GMT -5
I am terrified of dying old. Heck, let's be honest; old people themselves scare me o.o
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